Columnist / Bishop laz
A curse that will forever haunt Zimbabwe opposition
THOSE of us who grew up in the village know that nothing can be as foul-smelling as a skunk.It literally stinks to high heaven.By some freak of nature, these cat-sized black-and-white ...Published: 02 Jul 2023 at 07:40hrs | 9 | by Bishop Lazi
Writing's on the bright yellow wall
The Bishop is back.What a restful, restorative and therapeutic sabbatical it was!Once in a while, it is quite helpful to extricate ourselves from the maddening rush of our manic lifest...Published: 15 Jan 2023 at 09:38hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Zimbabwe opposition set for Armageddon in 2023
What a hugely important and symbolic week this will be for Zimbabwe.On Tuesday, African voices, particularly those from Southern Africa, will rise to a crescendo, as they continue to speak out...Published: 23 Oct 2022 at 09:08hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
We must prepare for the coming 'war'
From tomorrow until Wednesday, the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) will be mourning Patrice Lumumba - the country's first democratically elected prime minister - who was slain 61 years ago in the g...Published: 26 Jun 2022 at 08:08hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Naysayers will be buried in own ignorance
For Bishop Lazi and his ilk, today - Palm Sunday - marks the beginning of Holy Week.It is a sacred period that commemorates Jesus Christ's ‘triumphal entry' into Jerusalem for the Passover w...Published: 10 Apr 2022 at 08:08hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
It's the economy, stupid!
Eons ago, in Bishop Lazi's village, there lived a pint-sized legend who was known far and wide.Everyone always surmised — and with good reason too — he had inherited the worst biological q...Published: 03 Apr 2022 at 08:20hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
A golden gift from the political gods
If next year's watershed elections needed any divination, then the just-ended by-elections were the divine bones cast by a bone-thrower to provide a reading of the future.Well, they are a gold...Published: 27 Mar 2022 at 07:27hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Warmongers will never preach peace
Do you still remember what the Bishop has been prophesying from the beginning?He hopes you still do!We will definitely inherit a different world order when the coronavirus finally runs...Published: 13 Mar 2022 at 08:00hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
World War III might already be underway
IN life, it is absolutely critical to learn to pick your battles.While celebrated English playwright William Shakespeare once noted that "cowards die many times before their deaths", Nigerian ...Published: 06 Mar 2022 at 08:15hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Zanu-PF unmoved by CCC
Zanu-PF is unmoved by the entrance of Mr Nelson Chamisa's Citizens Coalition for Change (CCC) faction of the opposition into the political fray because the ruling party is confident of its massive app...Published: 20 Feb 2022 at 08:49hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Chamisa must sleep with one eye open
Elections always unfailingly produce rare and curious political creatures and species.You might think you have seen it all only for another election cycle to remind you that you ain't seen not...Published: 20 Feb 2022 at 08:49hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
A political accident waiting to happen
Communities are glued and bound together by more than blood.They share a common past, history, heritage, values, norms and aspirations.The commonality bred by sharing similar languages...Published: 23 Jan 2022 at 07:58hrs | 6 | by Bishop Laz
The last great war might have begun
The tongue can be a powerful weapon.It can build and destroy. It also can excite, spite and incite.And when a sharp tongue is mixed with potent ideas, it is easy to concoct a nuclear w...Published: 16 Jan 2022 at 08:50hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Munatsi family seeks closure
A fire broke out in apartment C9 at the palatial Northfields Complex in Harare in the early hours of Monday.The occupant of the luxurious flat was top investment banker and chief executive off...Published: 05 Dec 2021 at 06:08hrs | 8 | by Bishop Lazarus
A chain is as strong as its weakest link
The Bishop's heart always bleeds each time he thinks about Ethiopia, the land of brave men and women who valiantly frustrated Italy's imperial designs in the 20th century, making it difficult for colo...Published: 05 Dec 2021 at 06:08hrs | 8 | by Bishop Lazarus
You can't pull in croc with fish hook
IN the village, the outcome of a fishing trip to the river often meant the difference between a sumptuous meal and another dish to be tolerated just to keep the body and soul together.As pleas...Published: 14 Nov 2021 at 05:37hrs | 9 | by Bishop Lazarus
It's a cruel world for black people
So the world decided to gather in Glasgow, Scotland, last week to try and save the planet from what we are told could be an imminent apocalypse caused by rising global temperatures.Well, Bisho...Published: 07 Nov 2021 at 07:08hrs | 6 | by Bishop Lazarus
Why Zanu-PF is under siege
If Africans knew even half their history, they would understand the reason why they continue to stew in poverty, misery and disillusion while other parts of the world are swimming in prosperity, happi...Published: 17 Oct 2021 at 08:59hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
When the police officer is actually a thug
CRISES bring out the best or worst in people.Well, for Britain, the current fuel shortages have brought out the bad and nasty side of a people that we are told are supposedly more civilised th...Published: 03 Oct 2021 at 08:10hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
We need to repair our sick politics
AS strange as it might sound or seem, you can be sure there is an imbecile somewhere in our beloved teapot-shaped country that is very unhappy the weatherman is forecasting we might have a very good r...Published: 05 Sep 2021 at 06:49hrs | 8 | by Bishop Lazi
When Zambia had a Tsvangirai moment
Phew! What an eventful week it was, from the fall of Kabul to the Taliban and the fall of Edgar "Chagwa" Lungu to Hakainde Hichilema in Zambia.And we also had new Malawian President Dr Lazarus...Published: 22 Aug 2021 at 07:47hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
We need new heroes!
Sometimes, Bishop Lazi is glad that his uncle is dead.The man was never the same ever since returning from the war.He was no longer the bubbly and chatty young man who revelled in the ...Published: 08 Aug 2021 at 07:16hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Business has learned nothing and forgot nothing
SO there was this prominent businessman-cum-pastor who was obsessed with religiously lampooning politicians as occultic during his daily sermons.Preaching from his moral high horse, the raboni...Published: 06 Jun 2021 at 09:50hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Yes, you can legislate for patriotism
GROWING up in the village, one gets to appreciate the fact that not all dogs are the same.They are actually two distinct types: the abidingly loyal and disciplined type, and the hopelessly use...Published: 21 Mar 2021 at 08:19hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
Even Lord Malvern failed to deliver water to Bulawayo
IN the old days, there was a special group of people called the Pharisees that did not particularly impress Jesus Christ.They were known for obsessively exhorting followers to be unstinting st...Published: 28 Feb 2021 at 08:42hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
The bane of deadbeat intellectuals
Talent seems to come with more than its fair share of baggage.Most often than not, gifted personalities belong to a pantheon of living gods that wow the world during their time in the limeligh...Published: 21 Feb 2021 at 06:58hrs | 9 | by Bishop Lazarus
Wananchi - never awaken a sleep-walking foe
Ignorance can be pure bliss.It makes life unburdensome through avoiding the inconvenience of putting up with inconvenient truths, facts and realities.What better way of preventing the ...Published: 14 Feb 2021 at 09:38hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
ZIFA back Loga
ZIFA have thrown their weight behind under fire Warriors coach Zdravko "Loga'' Logarusic, insisting the Croat's recent failure at the African Nations Championships (CHAN) tournament was a result of a ...Published: 31 Jan 2021 at 06:52hrs | | by Bishop Lazarue
Social media driving us to doomsday
Bishop Lazi is convinced that nostalgia is a timeless disease.It is normally associated with selective amnesia and the romanticisation of cherished memories.This is why it is unsurpris...Published: 31 Jan 2021 at 06:51hrs | | by Bishop Lazarue
Rats cannot think beyond peanuts
AROUND this time in 2018, witty cynics, the majority of whom have happily found a convenient playground on social media platforms, were whining and whingeing that shortages of Coca-Cola which is a gen...Published: 06 Dec 2020 at 07:47hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
When the undertaker wishes you long life
This time Africans have abjectly disappointed the world.For Pete's sake, why can they not simply die?At least that is what the world expected after the outbreak of the coronavirus....Published: 04 Oct 2020 at 09:57hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Mastering art of 'villagising' cities
In Bishop Lazi's village, there lived this super-reclusive chap who, after a quarrel with his father over witchcraft, decided to build his own hut a spitting distance from the family homestead....Published: 20 Sep 2020 at 08:30hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Lies run sprints, truth runs marathons
They say time heals even the deepest of scars, but not for Bishop Lazarus.And they say everything — absolutely everything and anything — has a price, but not this man of scripture and pray...Published: 01 Sep 2019 at 14:33hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazi
When Excellencies grace Chitungwiza shebeen
What a couple of weeks of diplomatic intrigue.Epoch-making, maybe.Hallelujah! Praise be to the living God!We had desperately reckless American diplomats abandoning their airy a...Published: 25 Aug 2019 at 08:37hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Zimbabwe is not a banana republic
Blessed Sunday good people.How was Friday?Has the Government changed yet?Is Nelson Chamisa now president of our teapot-shaped republic? Kikikiki.Yes, exactly as Bishop ...Published: 18 Aug 2019 at 09:30hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
God doesn't carry a red political party card
God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, which simply means He is all-powerful, all-knowing and everywhere in that order.His sheer preponderance as a Supreme Being means He cannot be app...Published: 11 Aug 2019 at 07:24hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
The gnashing of teeth is nigh
The nature of Bishop Lazi's job, which often involves endlessly counselling the stricken, the infirm, the indisposed and the emotionally wounded, naturally makes him a couch potato, especially during ...Published: 07 Jul 2019 at 21:01hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Mthuli's mortal fight with the Hydra
If you ask the Bishop what will distinguish E D's Presidency, he will tell you that it is his fierce decisiveness, keen pragmatism and a commendable ability to swiftly change and adjust as the situati...Published: 30 Jun 2019 at 09:01hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazi
The bane of rabid, frenzied media
Again, dear reader, if ever you are in doubt, if ever you are confused, if ever you need a moral compass, or whenever you find yourself agreeing with Jonathan Moyo, you should know that you are close ...Published: 16 Jun 2019 at 09:35hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Comeuppance for Gucci comrades
Most people clumsily stumble through life thinking that intelligence is similar to wisdom.Well, it isn't!Intelligence is natural, but wisdom is preternatural. Similarly, while intellig...Published: 09 Jun 2019 at 08:08hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
An abiding tortoise of White House goons
Politics, as an existential science, can be characteristically hot, heavy and heady.In its very extreme form, politics can be similar to religious fundamentalism, where it becomes a matter of ...Published: 02 Jun 2019 at 08:18hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Warts of democracy can be an eyesore
Cynics often say politics is like a sewage as it allows stinking and filthy scum to rise to the top.In a twisted way, it's pretty much like milk, which, as it matures, allows cream to rise....Published: 19 May 2019 at 09:05hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
We must flash out all the sloths
Hairdressers of Natpharm head honchos must understandably be worried since they might not be seeing their clients anytime soon, especially after they received quite the "hairdryer treatment" last week...Published: 12 May 2019 at 06:34hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Social media - loitering hall for sociopaths
Even though Jesus was/is God, and even though he was immaculately conceived, during the time he walked this earth - more than 2 019 years ago - he was a man of flesh and blood.A man - despite ...Published: 05 May 2019 at 09:33hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
How long shall we suffer fools, loons?
Despite their supposed genius and intellectual heft, Western scientists are still grappling with establishing the causal link between lunar cycles and madness.While there is innumerable anecdo...Published: 28 Apr 2019 at 07:26hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
A potent enemy always lives within
Hallelujah. . . But wait . . . why was he killed in the first place?You see, over time, societies evolve into hierarchical and stratified communities that pit the powerful against the powerles...Published: 21 Apr 2019 at 08:50hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Of Wilfred Mugeyi, Boateng and MDC
Up until May 6 2015, arguably the most embarrassing episode in world football history was that last-gasp miss by Wilfred Mugeyi on January 25 2004 at Zimbabwe's first appearance at the African Cup of ...Published: 07 Apr 2019 at 08:31hrs | 11 | by Bishop Lazi
When seers failed to see the Ides of March
Bishop Lazi always tells his followers that as a people, we have been involved in a brutal rat race for the past two decades as we struggled for survival in choppy economic conditions.But the ...Published: 23 Mar 2019 at 22:24hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Loose lips can really sink ships
As Jesus liked his teachings in parables, the Bishop will continue to use intelligible riddles and anecdotes to help you understand the workings of the world, at least as how I understand them....Published: 17 Mar 2019 at 08:31hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Biti, this world will humble you!
Even after having gone through the intellectual rigours of philosophy and theology at seminary, Bishop Lazi still doesn't fancy the nature versus nurture debate.But there is a particularly ine...Published: 10 Mar 2019 at 08:48hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazi
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