Columnist / Bishop lazarus
Zimbabwe opposition set for Armageddon in 2023
What a hugely important and symbolic week this will be for Zimbabwe.On Tuesday, African voices, particularly those from Southern Africa, will rise to a crescendo, as they continue to speak out...Published: 23 Oct 2022 at 09:08hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
It's the economy, stupid!
Eons ago, in Bishop Lazi's village, there lived a pint-sized legend who was known far and wide.Everyone always surmised — and with good reason too — he had inherited the worst biological q...Published: 03 Apr 2022 at 08:20hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
Munatsi family seeks closure
A fire broke out in apartment C9 at the palatial Northfields Complex in Harare in the early hours of Monday.The occupant of the luxurious flat was top investment banker and chief executive off...Published: 05 Dec 2021 at 06:08hrs | 7 | by Bishop Lazarus
A chain is as strong as its weakest link
The Bishop's heart always bleeds each time he thinks about Ethiopia, the land of brave men and women who valiantly frustrated Italy's imperial designs in the 20th century, making it difficult for colo...Published: 05 Dec 2021 at 06:08hrs | 7 | by Bishop Lazarus
You can't pull in croc with fish hook
IN the village, the outcome of a fishing trip to the river often meant the difference between a sumptuous meal and another dish to be tolerated just to keep the body and soul together.As pleas...Published: 14 Nov 2021 at 05:37hrs | 8 | by Bishop Lazarus
It's a cruel world for black people
So the world decided to gather in Glasgow, Scotland, last week to try and save the planet from what we are told could be an imminent apocalypse caused by rising global temperatures.Well, Bisho...Published: 07 Nov 2021 at 07:08hrs | 5 | by Bishop Lazarus
We need new heroes!
Sometimes, Bishop Lazi is glad that his uncle is dead.The man was never the same ever since returning from the war.He was no longer the bubbly and chatty young man who revelled in the ...Published: 08 Aug 2021 at 07:16hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Business has learned nothing and forgot nothing
SO there was this prominent businessman-cum-pastor who was obsessed with religiously lampooning politicians as occultic during his daily sermons.Preaching from his moral high horse, the raboni...Published: 06 Jun 2021 at 09:50hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Yes, you can legislate for patriotism
GROWING up in the village, one gets to appreciate the fact that not all dogs are the same.They are actually two distinct types: the abidingly loyal and disciplined type, and the hopelessly use...Published: 21 Mar 2021 at 08:19hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
Even Lord Malvern failed to deliver water to Bulawayo
IN the old days, there was a special group of people called the Pharisees that did not particularly impress Jesus Christ.They were known for obsessively exhorting followers to be unstinting st...Published: 28 Feb 2021 at 08:42hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
The bane of deadbeat intellectuals
Talent seems to come with more than its fair share of baggage.Most often than not, gifted personalities belong to a pantheon of living gods that wow the world during their time in the limeligh...Published: 21 Feb 2021 at 06:58hrs | 7 | by Bishop Lazarus
Wananchi - never awaken a sleep-walking foe
Ignorance can be pure bliss.It makes life unburdensome through avoiding the inconvenience of putting up with inconvenient truths, facts and realities.What better way of preventing the ...Published: 14 Feb 2021 at 09:38hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Rats cannot think beyond peanuts
AROUND this time in 2018, witty cynics, the majority of whom have happily found a convenient playground on social media platforms, were whining and whingeing that shortages of Coca-Cola which is a gen...Published: 06 Dec 2020 at 07:47hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Mastering art of 'villagising' cities
In Bishop Lazi's village, there lived this super-reclusive chap who, after a quarrel with his father over witchcraft, decided to build his own hut a spitting distance from the family homestead....Published: 20 Sep 2020 at 08:30hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Warts of democracy can be an eyesore
Cynics often say politics is like a sewage as it allows stinking and filthy scum to rise to the top.In a twisted way, it's pretty much like milk, which, as it matures, allows cream to rise....Published: 19 May 2019 at 09:05hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
How long shall we suffer fools, loons?
Despite their supposed genius and intellectual heft, Western scientists are still grappling with establishing the causal link between lunar cycles and madness.While there is innumerable anecdo...Published: 28 Apr 2019 at 07:26hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Behold, Chamisa's circus comes to town
The pen, when wielded by the most potent hand, can indeed become mightier than the sword.As Bishop Lazi told you last week, there are a few men and women who belong to a pantheon of gods who c...Published: 03 Mar 2019 at 01:31hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Please Mthuli, tax these bastards!
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."Hallelujah!A story is often told of how Charles Mungoshi was once invited for a book reading of his Sho...Published: 24 Feb 2019 at 06:36hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
Damn you, Grim Reaper!
Those who grew up in the village, as Bishop Lazi did, know very well that birds and animals of prey hunt by stealth.Eagles are particularly a menace, especially by the regularity with which th...Published: 27 Jan 2019 at 19:01hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
'Mnangagwa, take us back to Egypt!'
Bishop Lazarus had a pleasant revelation on Monday and is seriously considering participating at next year's Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan.With Usain Bolt happily retired and sipping margarita...Published: 20 Jan 2019 at 09:11hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
The year of justice is nigh!
The Bishop lives! Hallelujah!And so, too, does sungura.What a holiday!Sorry, ndakazoenda ndisina kutaura. You see, this world is corrosive, especially for men of the cloth like...Published: 06 Jan 2019 at 09:44hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Does Jonathan Moyo think Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi?
SO Professor Jonathan Moyo is convinced that President Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi? He really thinks the Gukurahundi issue should leave ED paralysed with fear? It's a shame, but that's the tomf...Published: 14 Jan 2018 at 08:11hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
A little bit of respect for Mnangagwa
Instead of working hard for the party, some people are going to work hard to destroy the VP. Some will be sponsored to do so while others will just be overzealous to put up a show. There is going to b...Published: 22 Oct 2017 at 08:20hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Mugabe's age can't be a manifesto or an ideology
TODAY'S sermon comes from Leviticus 19 vs 32 and Isiah 46 vs 4. This sermon was inspired by comments that followed the statement by Presidential spokesman Mr George Charamba who last week took time to...Published: 14 May 2017 at 15:09hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Mbalula's big mouth is devil's postbag
The issue of criminality in South Africa is historical just as the issue of poverty. Black South Africans are poor in a country of plenty and that is the source of criminality not the Zimbabwean army....Published: 30 Apr 2017 at 14:08hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Can Kasukuwere and Chiyangwa write a Bible for mankind?
Phidza is accusing Tyson of asking for a $5 million bribe and he thinks he has a case. The real story and the real bribe is how did Phidza get 587 hectares of land in prime Stoneridge Farm? How?...Published: 23 Apr 2017 at 14:12hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Thanks Mliswa for Norton
WITHOUT wasting time, I want to thank that Zanu-PF boy, Temba Mliswa, for showing his party the evils of factionalism and the grave mistake of abandoning real war veterans. I have a message for the Za...Published: 30 Oct 2016 at 10:34hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Journos pose biggest danger to themselves, not Govt
The biggest threat to journalism and media freedom in Zimbabwe are the journalists themselves. They are a threat to themselves, first and foremost. If Government poses any threat, it comes way later i...Published: 08 May 2016 at 10:39hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Chivhayo needs prayers - Bishop Lazarus
You look at Wicknell Chivhayo and the hogwash he has been writing lately and you say to yourself, yeah, indeed money can't buy you everything.But come on guys, let's give it to the boy. He is ...Published: 10 Apr 2016 at 08:35hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Stop lying, Joice didn't launch a political party
Just like many of my colleagues during this time of the year, I was out of the country over the past few weeks to re-connect with my spiritual father.You see, many of our congregants will gene...Published: 05 Mar 2016 at 23:01hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Obert Gutu preaches to Apostle Guti
Today's sermon comes from Romans 13 vs 1 and Exodus 22 vs 28. The MDC-T better be warned.We all agree, Morgan Tsvangirai's party has lots of weaknesses but when the party thinks it's much wise...Published: 17 May 2015 at 10:48hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
And then Tsvangirai smiled again
We all know MDC-T is broke. We all know that the British and the Americans are fed up with hand-holding dear Morgan. We know that regime change has changed to regime destruction. We know that MDC-T is...Published: 16 Mar 2015 at 09:46hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Warning to Khaya Moyo
Kikikikikiki! Kikikikikiki! Pardon me dear reader for bursting out laughing! And don't worry, your poor Bishop has not lost his marbles. Was watching the 21st February Movement celebrations in...Published: 01 Mar 2015 at 12:10hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Of fake Gushungo adverts
TODAY'S sermon comes from James 1 vs 22 and Ephesians 4 vs 18. I shall be preaching about deceitful people since there is a unprecedented rush to "lick" the President and I shall also preach a bit abo...Published: 22 Feb 2015 at 09:24hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
American soldiers singing at Gono's farm
APOLOGIES for going AWOL for the past two editions of the only readable Sunday paper. You see, I could quote several Bible verses on the necessity of resting but I don't want to hypnotise you dear rea...Published: 15 Feb 2015 at 11:57hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
3 million Zimbabweans in SA?
I trust yours is a blessed Sunday. When one is confronted with stupidity they can respond in two ways: cure the fool or allow it so suffer in ignorance. I'm feeling particularly generous today so let'...Published: 25 May 2014 at 19:30hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
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