Columnist / Cz
VMCZ mourns Innocent Kurwa
Statement on the passing on of VMCZ Provincial Adjudication Committee member- Mr Innocent KurwaIt is with profound sadness and pain that the Voluntary M...Published: 27 Apr 2021 at 12:51hrs | | by VMCZ
Be wary of the ways of the crocodile, Cdes!
MANY of you appear to be convinced about this nonsense that I am now warming up to my tormentors. Do I look like the type of person who flip-flops on matters of principle? I will never compromise on w...Published: 30 Sep 2018 at 20:34hrs | | by CZ
Legitimacy comes from the people, Cdes!
OUR doubts about the efficacy of our hopeless legal system have now been proved beyond any reasonable doubt. After that charade of an election court hearing, it is little wonder this country is in the...Published: 06 Sep 2018 at 15:56hrs | 1 | by CZ
Be strong young man, lead my people!
I MUST admit that I really underestimated this young Wamba kid. I had initially never given him much chance, but I am really gratified and very delighted that God and the gods timely intervened in the...Published: 09 Aug 2018 at 19:07hrs | | by CZ
Junta-boy's thugs out to character assassinate me, Cdes!
MY dear Comrades, as we put up firm structures in readiness for our New Patriotic Front cruising to a sure victory in the elections that the junta-boy is under pressure to announce shortly, you should...Published: 15 Mar 2018 at 06:51hrs | | by CZ
Junta-boy not leaving anything to chance, Cdes
I don't care what he does. What I know for sure is that he is not going to last in that position because God and the gods have not ordained him to preside over this great nation."I don't care ...Published: 06 Mar 2018 at 08:11hrs | | by CZ
Time to end Zanu-PF election rigging, Cdes
MY Comrades, I am pleased to finally announce to you that something is happening on the ground. As you are now all aware, a lot of work is underway to ensure that the New Patriotic Front (NPF), a gran...Published: 12 Feb 2018 at 10:55hrs | | by CZ
Looking forward to my Gukurahundi exoneration, Cdes
MY former Cdes. I hope I find you well. I also hope you saw that Davos interview in which the Junta's poster boy was quizzed about his role in the Gukurahundi genocidal massacres and how his face went...Published: 06 Feb 2018 at 10:38hrs | 1 | by CZ
I can't wait to vote for Tsvangirai, Cdes
MY former Comrades, I would want to believe that you are still steadfastly on my side. It really gets me mad to notice that the media and the people are already erroneously referring to me as former p...Published: 31 Jan 2018 at 12:00hrs | | by CZ
Idle life can be such a yawning bore, Cdes
MY former Comrades, this being my first January - and also first ever year - in which I have nothing to do with myself in my whole life; I have to admit that I am finding life to be rather a yawning b...Published: 24 Jan 2018 at 14:33hrs | | by CZ
I am ready to lead MDC-T, Cdes
MY former Comrades. Things are going from bad to worse back home, I am told. They are going so bad that some prominent figures in the opposition MDC-T party, who are convinced that Morgan has effectiv...Published: 12 Jan 2018 at 06:04hrs | | by CZ
A real revolution is brewing, Cdes!
MY former comrades, when you and the rogue elements in the army forced the people to make a show of protesting against me and later another show of celebrating my departure, one thing you never realis...Published: 14 Dec 2017 at 15:38hrs | | by CZ
I will be back in my job, Cdes!
MY Comrades, I still cannot believe that you did what you did to me! I still cannot believe that you betrayed me the way you all did.This week I woke up to tell my wife that I had had a nightm...Published: 30 Nov 2017 at 15:53hrs | 1 | by CZ
You are doomed without me, Cdes
Dear Former ComradesMY former Comrades, as I have always pointed out, I am and will always be, a loyal servant of the people. When the people decided that I had served them enough and it was t...Published: 23 Nov 2017 at 10:05hrs | | by CZ
I am just taking sort of a short rest, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I had to take a short break from addressing you as I attend to some emergencies that I am quite sure our Anglo-Saxon detractors have a hand in. ...Published: 17 Nov 2017 at 07:09hrs | | by CZ
Our chiefs can now campaign for us, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am glad that as we prepare for the upcoming elections which we have no excuse not to win by the 98 percent margin now standardised by peer d...Published: 02 Nov 2017 at 12:18hrs | | by CZ
I am a natural goodwill ambassador, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have never felt as insulted in my whole long, fruitful and satisfying life as I felt this week when some skunks in the West arm-twisted the leader...Published: 26 Oct 2017 at 19:20hrs | | by CZ
It is not a bedroom affair, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, the situation on the ground has forced me to make changes to my Cabinet as a matter of urgency. I could not wait to make these changes when I assume...Published: 12 Oct 2017 at 16:21hrs | 1 | by CZ
Zimbabwe is happy, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, following the success of the youth interface rallies that we are now winding up, I suggest we move to mothers' interface rallies, then to fathers' i...Published: 08 Oct 2017 at 16:38hrs | | by CZ
West trying to create chaos again, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, for time with no number, I have warned you against resting on your laurels … warning you never to think that our western enemies we have defeated ...Published: 28 Sep 2017 at 12:32hrs | | by CZ
Wishing Tsvangirai a speedy recovery, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am really worried for Morgan … I am praying hard for the brother to get well soon because, no matter our differences, he still remains a brother...Published: 23 Sep 2017 at 21:03hrs | | by CZ
West setting dangerous precedent in Kenya, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as a committed pan Africanist, I am deeply disturbed by the very sad developments taking place in Kenya in the name of democracy. You don't need to ...Published: 07 Sep 2017 at 13:09hrs | | by CZ
Cde Mnangagwa has recovered, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I must express my displeasure at the manner in which the sad news of Cde Rutanhire's passing was handled. It appeared as if the party does not have ...Published: 01 Sep 2017 at 09:36hrs | | by CZ
Anglo-Saxon enemies behind this, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am unable to fully address you this week. You noticed that I was unable to join you in bidding farewell to Cde Shuvai, I am still in a state of sh...Published: 24 Aug 2017 at 17:48hrs | | by CZ
We never kill each other in our party, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as we remembered the gallant sons and daughters of the land, I was saddened by the sudden passing on of Cde Shuvai, one of the young and very energe...Published: 24 Aug 2017 at 08:33hrs | | by CZ
Rogue war vets must get their comeuppance, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as a democrat that I have always been all my life, I have never really wanted to muzzle dissent in any form, just for the sake of stifling it, becau...Published: 03 Aug 2017 at 12:51hrs | | by CZ
Entirely my fault, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, when I look at these people who always make noise; flinging all manner of accusations against us, even to the point of being openly disrespectful of...Published: 27 Jul 2017 at 17:51hrs | | by CZ
Back and raring to go, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am back and raring to go. Following the unfortunate incident that took place at the airport-the second in as many years - my sixth sense is tellin...Published: 20 Jul 2017 at 13:41hrs | | by CZ
Under the weather, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, due to circumstances beyond my own control, I am unable to address you this week.As most of you who care would be aware of, I had to travel ...Published: 13 Jul 2017 at 19:18hrs | | by CZ
Let's make sure Tsvangirai does not boycott, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, so far so good! From the three provinces that I have been able to tour so far meeting the youth, I am quite impressed with the excellent work that m...Published: 13 Jul 2017 at 12:06hrs | | by CZ
No weather for old men, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am unable to address you this week because of the inclement weather. I have no doubt that the British and their evil American cousins are playing ...Published: 22 Jun 2017 at 17:51hrs | | by CZ
The benighted are envious, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I hope you have noticed how some people are pre-disposed to see scandals where none exist. The reaction to some recent appointments, all above board...Published: 15 Jun 2017 at 14:41hrs | 1 | by CZ
I did not invite myself to the Oceans summit, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am so disappointed by the ignorance displayed by our opposition. Their ignorance of global issues is inexcusable for people who harbour dreams of ...Published: 08 Jun 2017 at 13:53hrs | | by CZ
Evil West trying to infiltrate Zanu-PF, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, the events that took place recently in Bulawayo got me very worried. Surely, how could members of our party so savagely attack each other with all s...Published: 02 Jun 2017 at 09:24hrs | | by CZ
ZimAsset has surpassed 2 million jobs, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, last week we launched two key projects that fall under the infrastructural development cluster of our Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic...Published: 26 May 2017 at 07:00hrs | | by CZ
West rigged us out of UNWTO post, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am really disappointed that one of our best ministers, Cde Walter, was rigged out of the secretary generals' position of the United Nations ...Published: 19 May 2017 at 15:52hrs | | by CZ
Another survey puts us top again, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, just a year before we go into another election, yet another survey has revealed the obvious … that a preponderating majority of our people trust u...Published: 11 May 2017 at 21:36hrs | | by CZ
Command Economy will make Zim-Asset a reality, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have said it before that what I have right now is the best Cabinet team I have ever had in the short time that I have had the privilege to l...Published: 09 May 2017 at 16:10hrs | | by CZ
Taking a break to study disciplinary cases, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, unhappily, I am unable to address you this week. It has nothing to do with the inclement weather that our evil detractors most likely unleashed on u...Published: 27 Apr 2017 at 18:45hrs | | by CZ
Goats, cattle will turn economy around, Cde
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I never knew that I had such geniuses among members of my team. I should admit that I was thoroughly impressed with the idea of giving livestock a g...Published: 22 Apr 2017 at 12:21hrs | | by CZ
Let's get ready for grand victory, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I will shortly be starting nationwide rallies to warm our structures in readiness for next year's harmonised elections that, naturally, we will be w...Published: 16 Apr 2017 at 18:58hrs | | by CZ
I warned misleaders about this, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I notice that things are not looking very good for quite a number of you - including our national political commissar, Cde Tyson - as the people hav...Published: 06 Apr 2017 at 07:23hrs | 1 | by CZ
My job is to uphold the Constitution, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have to frankly tell you that I am very disappointed in some of you for doing some criminal activities not just behind my back, but also doing t...Published: 30 Mar 2017 at 06:35hrs | 1 | by CZ
We have already won 2018 elections, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, while I was flying to and from some regional destinations where I had official commitments, I managed to read through the documents some of you pres...Published: 23 Mar 2017 at 06:22hrs | | by CZ
BBC, CNN et al fear me, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, have you ever noticed that our Anglo-Saxon detractors through their propaganda outlets such as the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) and ...Published: 16 Mar 2017 at 10:08hrs | | by CZ
Just pay them their bonuses, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I only discovered this week that bonuses for our hard-working civil servants have not been paid since last year. I really cannot understand why this...Published: 09 Mar 2017 at 07:28hrs | | by CZ
I am getting better wth age, Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I don't know how to thank you for honouring me in such a disarming way as you continue to do… the latest being the unforgettable birthday present ...Published: 02 Mar 2017 at 05:48hrs | | by CZ
Who am I to pick my own successor, Cdes?
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members COMRADES, for a very long time, I have been asked when I would start grooming my successor.I remember at one time being tempted to compromise on...Published: 23 Feb 2017 at 10:13hrs | | by CZ
Forming, running political party not easy, Cdes
COMRADES, what did I say last year about some foolish strong-headed woman's dream of forming and running viable political parties? I laughed when I heard that this is what was happening, and I warned ...Published: 16 Feb 2017 at 06:13hrs | | by CZ
We might have to leave the AU , Cdes
Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I think by now most of you know that in my whole life, I have never been on the losing side. I don't know what losing is like, right from my childho...Published: 09 Feb 2017 at 06:02hrs | | by CZ
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