Bulawayo24 News - Skyes! "it makes perfect sense"

Be wary of the ways of the crocodile, Cdes!

MANY of you appear to be convinced about this nonsense that I am now warming up to my tormentors. Do I look like the type of person who flip-flops on matters of principle? I will never compromise on what I hold dear to my heart.Honestly ho…

Published: 30 Sep 2018 at 20:34hrs | 2 | by CZ

Legitimacy comes from the people, Cdes!

OUR doubts about the efficacy of our hopeless legal system have now been proved beyond any reasonable doubt. After that charade of an election court hearing, it is little wonder this country is in the troubles that it is in right now. I am…

Published: 06 Sep 2018 at 15:56hrs | 1 | by CZ

Be strong young man, lead my people!

I MUST admit that I really underestimated this young Wamba kid. I had initially never given him much chance, but I am really gratified and very delighted that God and the gods timely intervened in the nick of time to advise me that he was …

Published: 09 Aug 2018 at 19:07hrs | | by CZ

Junta-boy's thugs out to character assassinate me, Cdes!

MY dear Comrades, as we put up firm structures in readiness for our New Patriotic Front cruising to a sure victory in the elections that the junta-boy is under pressure to announce shortly, you should read the following lode of rubbish to …

Published: 15 Mar 2018 at 06:51hrs | 6 | by CZ

Junta-boy not leaving anything to chance, Cdes

I don't care what he does. What I know for sure is that he is not going to last in that position because God and the gods have not ordained him to preside over this great nation."I don't care what he does. What I know for sure is that he i…

Published: 06 Mar 2018 at 08:11hrs | 1 | by CZ

Time to end Zanu-PF election rigging, Cdes

MY Comrades, I am pleased to finally announce to you that something is happening on the ground. As you are now all aware, a lot of work is underway to ensure that the New Patriotic Front (NPF), a grand coalition of all opposition parties r…

Published: 12 Feb 2018 at 10:55hrs | 1 | by CZ

Looking forward to my Gukurahundi exoneration, Cdes

MY former Cdes. I hope I find you well. I also hope you saw that Davos interview in which the Junta's poster boy was quizzed about his role in the Gukurahundi genocidal massacres and how his face went white and his mouth very, very dry tha…

Published: 06 Feb 2018 at 10:38hrs | 5 | by CZ

I can't wait to vote for Tsvangirai, Cdes

MY former Comrades, I would want to believe that you are still steadfastly on my side. It really gets me mad to notice that the media and the people are already erroneously referring to me as former president when they should refer to me a…

Published: 31 Jan 2018 at 12:00hrs | 3 | by CZ

Idle life can be such a yawning bore, Cdes

MY former Comrades, this being my first January - and also first ever year - in which I have nothing to do with myself in my whole life; I have to admit that I am finding life to be rather a yawning bore. If life was always half this borin…

Published: 24 Jan 2018 at 14:33hrs | 4 | by CZ

I am ready to lead MDC-T, Cdes

MY former Comrades. Things are going from bad to worse back home, I am told. They are going so bad that some prominent figures in the opposition MDC-T party, who are convinced that Morgan has effectively been stuffed into the back pocket o…

Published: 12 Jan 2018 at 06:04hrs | | by CZ

A real revolution is brewing, Cdes!

MY former comrades, when you and the rogue elements in the army forced the people to make a show of protesting against me and later another show of celebrating my departure, one thing you never realised was that the human spirit can never …

Published: 14 Dec 2017 at 15:38hrs | 1 | by CZ

I will be back in my job, Cdes!

MY Comrades, I still cannot believe that you did what you did to me! I still cannot believe that you betrayed me the way you all did.This week I woke up to tell my wife that I had had a nightmare in which I suddenly was no longer President…

Published: 30 Nov 2017 at 15:53hrs | 2 | by CZ

You are doomed without me, Cdes

Dear Former ComradesMY former Comrades, as I have always pointed out, I am and will always be, a loyal servant of the people. When the people decided that I had served them enough and it was time for me to pass the baton onto someone, I du…

Published: 23 Nov 2017 at 10:05hrs | 1 | by CZ

I am just taking sort of a short rest, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I had to take a short break from addressing you as I attend to some emergencies that I am quite sure our Anglo-Saxon detractors have a hand in.  God and the gods willing, I hope to be able t…

Published: 17 Nov 2017 at 07:09hrs | 1 | by CZ

Our chiefs can now campaign for us, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am glad that as we prepare for the upcoming elections  which we have no excuse not to win by the 98 percent margin now standardised by peer democracies on the continent  chiefs will b…

Published: 02 Nov 2017 at 12:18hrs | 2 | by CZ

I am a natural goodwill ambassador, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have never felt as insulted in my whole long, fruitful and satisfying life as I felt this week when some skunks in the West arm-twisted the leadership of the World Health Organisation into ille…

Published: 26 Oct 2017 at 19:20hrs | | by CZ

West trying to create chaos again, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, for time with no number, I have warned you against resting on your laurels â€¦ warning you never to think that our western enemies we have defeated on a number of occasions including in the great…

Published: 28 Sep 2017 at 12:32hrs | | by CZ

Wishing Tsvangirai a speedy recovery, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am really worried for Morgan â€¦ I am praying hard for the brother to get well soon because, no matter our differences, he still remains a brother to me.Unlike some fake pastors who specialise …

Published: 23 Sep 2017 at 21:03hrs | | by CZ

West setting dangerous precedent in Kenya, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as a committed pan Africanist, I am deeply disturbed by the very sad developments taking place in Kenya in the name of democracy. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to see the dirty hand of …

Published: 07 Sep 2017 at 13:09hrs | | by CZ

Cde Mnangagwa has recovered, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I must express my displeasure at the manner in which the sad news of Cde Rutanhire's passing was handled. It appeared as if the party does not have fully-fledged departments and government minist…

Published: 01 Sep 2017 at 09:36hrs | 1 | by CZ

Anglo-Saxon enemies behind this, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am unable to fully address you this week. You noticed that I was unable to join you in bidding farewell to Cde Shuvai, I am still in a state of shock.The events of the past week have confirmed …

Published: 24 Aug 2017 at 17:48hrs | 1026 | by CZ

We never kill each other in our party, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as we remembered the gallant sons and daughters of the land, I was saddened by the sudden passing on of Cde Shuvai, one of the young and very energetic members of our party on whose back the futu…

Published: 24 Aug 2017 at 08:33hrs | 3 | by CZ

Rogue war vets must get their comeuppance, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, as a democrat that I have always been all my life, I have never really wanted to muzzle dissent in any form, just for the sake of stifling it, because I believe that it is good for democracy to f…

Published: 03 Aug 2017 at 12:51hrs | 1 | by CZ

Entirely my fault, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, when I look at these people who always make noise; flinging all manner of accusations against us, even to the point of being openly disrespectful of the leadership as to insult them, I blame it a…

Published: 27 Jul 2017 at 17:51hrs | 1 | by CZ

Back and raring to go, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am back and raring to go. Following the unfortunate incident that took place at the airport-the second in as many years - my sixth sense is telling me that these incidents should not be viewed …

Published: 20 Jul 2017 at 13:41hrs | | by CZ

Under the weather, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, due to circumstances beyond my own control, I am unable to address you this week.As most of you who care would be aware of, I had to travel abroad to attend to some life-enhancing emergencies tha…

Published: 13 Jul 2017 at 19:18hrs | 2 | by CZ

Let's make sure Tsvangirai does not boycott, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, so far so good! From the three provinces that I have been able to tour so far meeting the youth, I am quite impressed with the excellent work that most of you Cdes have been doing to keep our peo…

Published: 13 Jul 2017 at 12:06hrs | | by CZ

No weather for old men, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am unable to address you this week because of the inclement weather. I have no doubt that the British and their evil American cousins are playing havoc with our weather, not only to ensure that…

Published: 22 Jun 2017 at 17:51hrs | | by CZ

The benighted are envious, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I hope you have noticed how some people are pre-disposed to see scandals where none exist. The reaction to some recent appointments, all above board, is a case in point. We have never made a nepo…

Published: 15 Jun 2017 at 14:41hrs | 3 | by CZ

I did not invite myself to the Oceans summit, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am so disappointed by the ignorance displayed by our opposition. Their ignorance of global issues is inexcusable for people who harbour dreams of one day leading our people. If anything, it mak…

Published: 08 Jun 2017 at 13:53hrs | 3 | by CZ

Evil West trying to infiltrate Zanu-PF, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, the events that took place recently in Bulawayo got me very worried. Surely, how could members of our party so savagely attack each other with all sorts of weapons in broad daylightâ€¦ just like …

Published: 02 Jun 2017 at 09:24hrs | 1 | by CZ

ZimAsset has surpassed 2 million jobs, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, last week we launched two key projects that fall under the infrastructural development cluster of our Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation (Zim-Asset) programme.These are…

Published: 26 May 2017 at 07:00hrs | 4 | by CZ

West rigged us out of UNWTO post, Cdes

Dear Cabinet  and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am really disappointed that one of our best ministers, Cde Walter, was rigged out of the secretary generals' position of the United Nations World Tourism Organisation (UNWTO) at the body'…

Published: 19 May 2017 at 15:52hrs | | by CZ

Another survey puts us top again, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, just a year before we go into another election, yet another survey has revealed the obvious â€¦ that a preponderating majority of our people trust us. This survey was conducted by a respectable P…

Published: 11 May 2017 at 21:36hrs | 3 | by CZ

Command Economy will make Zim-Asset a reality, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and  Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have said it before that what I have right now is the best Cabinet team I have ever had in the short time that I have had the privilege to lead this youthful nation. I should admit that w…

Published: 09 May 2017 at 16:10hrs | | by CZ

Taking a break to study disciplinary cases, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, unhappily, I am unable to address you this week. It has nothing to do with the inclement weather that our evil detractors most likely unleashed on us, but rather the need for me to create time fo…

Published: 27 Apr 2017 at 18:45hrs | 2 | by CZ

Goats, cattle will turn economy around, Cde

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I never knew that I had such geniuses among members of my team. I should admit that I was thoroughly impressed with the idea of giving livestock a greater role to play in turning around our econo…

Published: 22 Apr 2017 at 12:21hrs | | by CZ

Let's get ready for grand victory, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I will shortly be starting nationwide rallies to warm our structures in readiness for next year's harmonised elections that, naturally, we will be winning by our trademark landslide margin.I will…

Published: 16 Apr 2017 at 18:58hrs | | by CZ

I warned misleaders about this, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I notice that things are not looking very good for quite a number of you - including our national political commissar, Cde Tyson - as the people have decided that it is time to remind us, their l…

Published: 06 Apr 2017 at 07:23hrs | 1 | by CZ

My job is to uphold the Constitution, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and  Politburo membersCOMRADES, I have to frankly tell you that I am very disappointed in some of you for doing some criminal activities not just behind my back, but also doing them in my name.This week, I had to end the …

Published: 30 Mar 2017 at 06:35hrs | 2 | by CZ

We have already won 2018 elections, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, while I was flying to and from some regional destinations where I had official commitments, I managed to read through the documents some of you presented during our recent Politburo meeting.From …

Published: 23 Mar 2017 at 06:22hrs | | by CZ

BBC, CNN et al fear me, Cdes

Dear Cabinet  and Politburo membersCOMRADES, have you ever noticed that our Anglo-Saxon detractors through their propaganda outlets such as the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) and the Cable News Network (CNN) always try to get …

Published: 16 Mar 2017 at 10:08hrs | 3 | by CZ

Just pay them their bonuses, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I only discovered this week that bonuses for our hard-working civil servants have not been paid since last year. I really cannot understand why this is so because those bonuses were due before th…

Published: 09 Mar 2017 at 07:28hrs | 1 | by CZ

I am getting better wth age, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I don't know how to thank you for honouring me in such a disarming way as you continue to doâ€¦ the latest being the unforgettable birthday present that you gave me last weekend.I am so humbled b…

Published: 02 Mar 2017 at 05:48hrs | | by CZ

Who am I to pick my own successor, Cdes?

Dear Cabinet and Politburo members COMRADES, for a very long time, I have been asked when I would start grooming my successor.I remember at one time being tempted to compromise on my principled stance and indicate that I was going to …

Published: 23 Feb 2017 at 10:13hrs | | by CZ

Forming, running political party not easy, Cdes

COMRADES, what did I say last year about some foolish strong-headed woman's dream of forming and running viable political parties? I laughed when I heard that this is what was happening, and I warned that in no time, the outfit would be fa…

Published: 16 Feb 2017 at 06:13hrs | 658 | by CZ

We might have to leave the AU , Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I think by now most of you know that in my whole life, I have never been on the losing side. I don't know what losing is like, right from my childhood right to this day.So I found myself in an aw…

Published: 09 Feb 2017 at 06:02hrs | 2 | by CZ

Thanks for the Bikita birthday present, Cdes

Dear Cabinet  and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I am beside myself with joy. I am so, so elated. I am overwhelmed with happiness coming from the sweet results of the Bikita West by-election. I really do not know how I can thank you my Co…

Published: 26 Jan 2017 at 06:24hrs | 2 | by CZ

West behind attempted mobile data tariff hike, Cdes

Dear Cabinet  and Politburo membersCOMRADES, I notice that an ever-alert Cde Supa had to do a lot of fire-fighting after the Postal and Telecommunications Regulatory Authority, which is under his direct control, somehow got infiltrate…

Published: 19 Jan 2017 at 07:12hrs | 1 | by CZ

Detractors behind Warriors' rebellion, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and Politburo membersCOMPLIMENTS of the new season to you all Comrades. I am most pleased to welcome you all to the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Seventeen. I know all of you and all our people had a fantastic festive seas…

Published: 12 Jan 2017 at 06:48hrs | | by CZ

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