Columnist / Patrick guramatunhu
Lift sanctions, Zimbabwe has change enough 'to scold ED' - but not to stop him rigging elections
Zimbabwe is in serious economic and political trouble and there many reasons why this is so. One of these many reasons; the country is cursed with an unusually large army of corrupt and incompetent vi...Published: 7 hrs ago | 805 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'I have Thatcher's iron lady resolve,' says ED - rigged election for iron grip on power, must prise free
"WHEN Margaret Thatcher was elected UK prime minister in 1979, she recognised that piecemeal change would not be sufficient to tackle the problems of labour unrest, rampant inflation and economic stag...Published: 14 Nov 2018 at 09:05hrs | 1363 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Chiwenga deployed soldiers and order shoot to kill' says Judge - pre-empting Commission, so why bother
"There is a good catch to all this. At no time did Mangota aver that the commander of the Defence Forces, Valerio Sibanda, was approached and participated in deploying the soldiers. Nor did the judge ...Published: 13 Nov 2018 at 09:41hrs | 2219 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Commonwealth condemn ED elections as 'biased and unfair' - what are we going to do about it?
In Mnangagwa's Zimbabwe but never rains but pours and now it is pouring cats and dogs! Ever since coming into a year ago following the ouster of Zimbabwe's former corrupt and ruthless tyrant, ...Published: 12 Nov 2018 at 19:06hrs | 3783 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'ED stepping up fight against graft' Mangwana praised - praise as contrived as fight itself
Nick Mangwana has worked hard as a Zanu-PF apologist and was recently rewarded with the appointment as Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Media, Publicity and Broadcasting Services. The post was h...Published: 11 Nov 2018 at 09:44hrs | 266 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'I am taking Zimbabwe to Canaan,' said ED - rigged elections and dragged us into hell-on-earth
"PRESIDENT Emmerson Mnangagwa has rewarded one of the biggest indigenous churches, the Zion Christian Church (ZCC), with a tractor and other agricultural inputs for overwhelmingly voting for him and h...Published: 07 Nov 2018 at 07:14hrs | 4881 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ED seeking 'emergency powers' to end corruption - voiceless povo need it to force ED to step down before 2023
"President Emmerson Mnangagwa is finalising drafting legislation that will restore stability and eliminate mischief in the money markets, his spokesperson George Charamba said," reported Daily News,...Published: 05 Nov 2018 at 20:44hrs | 4257 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Emulate Masiyiwa, project good image of Zimbabwe' - no lies can ever disguise pariah state image
"MR Strive Masiyiwa is a telecommunications magnet and billionaire with a business conglomerate straddling the African continent and beyond. He is a self-made entrepreneur who commands respect across ...Published: 02 Nov 2018 at 16:54hrs | 1955 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Masiyiwa calls for removal of sanction, who dares to contradict' - I dare, here he is hopeless wrong
In augmenting Masiyiwa's sentiments Obert Gutu tweeted: "Now when a whole billionaire like Strive Masiyiwa calls for the removal of sanctions against Zimbabwe, iwe zvako Mupurwa…iwezvako Zuze… (yo...Published: 31 Oct 2018 at 19:37hrs | 1356 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'I will get rid of ghost workers' Mnangagwa promised, again - who stopped you, it has been a year
I have never pegged myself as a cynic but in today's Zimbabwe it is impossible not to be cynical when the whole nation is poisoned with cynicism and intrigue!"Government is fully aware of the ...Published: 29 Oct 2018 at 13:51hrs | 3762 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'2008 GNU was about power and position and sanitizing Zanu PF' desperate Chamisa confessed - likewise 2018
"Desperate Chamisa now wants a transitional govt!" screamed the headline in News Day. News Day was spot on Chamisa is now desperate and one does not need to be a psychoanalyst to see that it w...Published: 24 Oct 2018 at 21:11hrs | 1192 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
What good is Ncube's professorship, etc. without the most precious virtue there is!
To say I am disappointed and disgusted by Zimbabwe's Minister of Finance, Professor Mthuli Ncube, is only because I cannot find a stronger and more incisive language to express my outrage. Words have ...Published: 24 Oct 2018 at 18:31hrs | 1627 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Everyone (petty forex dealers) must play to rules' says (vote rigging) ED - do you ever
President Emmerson Mnangagwa going after the foreign currency dealers with all guns blazing!"As we work towards improving and stabilising the flow of foreign exchange into the productive secto...Published: 22 Oct 2018 at 06:55hrs | 922 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Punish illegal forex dealers' argue Zanu-PF - itself illegitimate. Focus on the hyena, not the tick.
ZANU-PF's Secretary and deputy minister for Defence and War Veterans, Victor Matemadanda, said money from forex dealers should be forfeited to the State and Government should come up with a law that e...Published: 20 Oct 2018 at 18:02hrs | 2938 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
EU pressuring Zanu PF to implement reforms, already - change tact, fortes fortuna iuvat!
It is gratifying to see that the EU is taking the matter of free, fair and credible elections in Zimbabwe with the sense of urgency and seriousness the matter demands. The EU Election Observer Mission...Published: 18 Oct 2018 at 07:45hrs | 2203 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Zanu PF rigged electoral victory is worse than a Pyrrhic - dog got hare's ticks and worse
You can tell the dog has a flea or tick problem by the frequency the poor creature scratches itself and the greater the vigour the greater the infestation! Rigging the recent elections was the easy bi...Published: 16 Oct 2018 at 19:57hrs | 1617 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ZCC still want ED and Chamisa to reconcile - morbid clergy holding us back
"PRESIDENT Emmerson Mnangagwa and opposition MDC Alliance leader Nelson Chamisa have taken hardline stances to political engagement, which has stalled progress towards interparty dialogue seen as crit...Published: 16 Oct 2018 at 19:18hrs | 2152 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ED threaten US$ black market dealers - on what charge, 'Same shit … different thug!'
"Same shit …. different island!" A vintage Caribbean Tourist T-shirt depicting a ganja smoking black Rasta with his trade mark dreadlocks complete with red/yellow/green/black vest greeting a dumfoun...Published: 15 Oct 2018 at 15:29hrs | 3562 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Clueless ED has nation push-starting Zimbabwe Bus uphill with empty fuel tank - going nowhere
Of course, Zanu PF rigged the recent elections; if the truth be told the EU, USA and everyone with any understanding of Zimbabwe politics did not expect anything else. "The final results as an...Published: 14 Oct 2018 at 20:02hrs | 5262 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Globetrotting and U-turn Minister is Asia begging for funds - no, first sort illegitimacy
One can see why few people would ever refuse to be appointed minister in Zimbabwe; the country is the poorest in Africa and yet it has the most well-travelled officials in the whole world. The...Published: 11 Oct 2018 at 09:18hrs | 2103 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Biti shedding buckets of crocodile tears over -suffering povo' - unwelcome distraction
"I don't get pleasure from the suffering of our people. For 38 years I have lived under ZANU madness. They stole the 2018 election. They have a duty and an obligation to return the country to legitima...Published: 09 Oct 2018 at 22:12hrs | 2403 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'ED has done nothing wrong' argues Mahiya - he rigged the elections and not for first time but will be last time
"Zimbabwe National Liberation War Veterans' Association spokesperson Douglas Mahiya yesterday accused the MDC of "conniving" with former colonisers and global capitalists to cause chaos in the country...Published: 09 Oct 2018 at 13:58hrs | 6319 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Panicked ZCC still want illegitimate Zanu PF to rule - even after 38 years corrupt and tyrannical rule
It is the great Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein, who is credited with exclaiming "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results".W...Published: 08 Oct 2018 at 09:25hrs | 4639 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
100% opposed to Chamisa presidency: illegitimate ED is hell, dysfunctional Chamisa hybrid is worse
"The people are very clear in all the provinces we have held provincial council meetings so far. They are saying they support Chamisa in rejecting Mnangagwa's offer for him to be drafted in his govern...Published: 04 Oct 2018 at 18:38hrs | 5204 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
MDC MPs walk out of parliament - another grand gesture comparable to Smith black MPs stooges
"Opposition legislators (Thursday) walked out of Parliament at 16:20 hours after the deputy speaker of Parliament Tsitsi Muzenda ejected Zengeza West legislator Job Sikhala over "unparliamentarily con...Published: 03 Oct 2018 at 20:41hrs | 2997 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Did you rig the election?' is my Passover question to uncle ED - only if that was permitted
"Uncle, why do we eat matzah (unleavened bread) and maror (bitter herbs)?" This is the question Moses' nephew asked him on the night of the very first Passover. The story underlines a time honoured Je...Published: 03 Oct 2018 at 07:40hrs | 2386 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Ruhanya asking ED to deliver diaspora vote - so ED is off the illegitimate hook!
Some Zimbabweans' self-indulgence knows no bounds! The latest expression of this foolishness is the willingness to let this Zanu PF regime to remain in power regardless of the fact that the regime rig...Published: 27 Sep 2018 at 07:08hrs | 466 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Economy will grow 6%' insist Ncube (Tsvangirai mark 2) - not without real political change first
"Zimbabwe will be joining the group of six countries which have the fastest growing economies with a growth rate of six percent per annum which comprise Rwanda, Ghana, Tanzania and Ivory Coast," said ...Published: 25 Sep 2018 at 17:19hrs | 2623 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'I prefer big bang policies' says Ncube - hurt poor hardest, reckless since doomed to fail
"My preference is a fiscal shock, but there is what you call the political collar or the politics of policy making, which then slows you down. My preference would be more of a big bang approach becaus...Published: 25 Sep 2018 at 07:25hrs | 1016 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'His Excellency assured American investor' - hollow title and assurance for one who is illegitimate
Poor Professor Mthuli Ncube, ever since his appointment as Minister of Finance, he has clearly lost whatever intellectual ability he had until that point. "His Excellency ... Mnangagwa assured...Published: 24 Sep 2018 at 07:21hrs | 564 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ED 'will woo investors' in maiden UNGA speech - no takers, given Mugabe mark-2 reputation
The Zanu PF apologists, spin-doctors and propagandists are out like the cicada flooding the world with nose. Their mission is to flood all available space with colourful portrait of Mnangagwa as a com...Published: 20 Sep 2018 at 19:59hrs | 3503 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Seek ye first the political kingdom' advised Dr Nkrumah. We did not and have paid dearly for our folly
"Seek ye first the political kingdom and all else shall be added unto you," said Dr Kwame Nkrumah, the first President of Independent Ghana. After 38 years of blundering from pillar to post wh...Published: 19 Sep 2018 at 22:16hrs | 382 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
UK want 'serious dialogue' with ED on debt but not vote rigging - history repeating itself
The British are not helping Zimbabwe get out of the economic and political mess the country is in. Not at all!"Ambassador Catriona Laing said an International Monetary Fund (IMF) programme wou...Published: 18 Sep 2018 at 16:36hrs | 3971 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'What can deadwood cabinet advise dream team?' ask ZCTU - no ask; what will we do if it fails, yet again?
"The reshuffle of cabinet actually promoted all those deemed 'excess baggage' by certain sections of the media. The big boys whom the majority called dead wood were actually reassigned to full time jo...Published: 18 Sep 2018 at 14:24hrs | 805 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'We are stuck with (vote rigging) ED junta, make it work' argue Cross - how, GNU fog has never cleared
The trouble with dealing with single track minded people like Eddie Cross is once they have made up their minds on something they are off. Even a train on a single track can be stopped and even revers...Published: 13 Sep 2018 at 07:14hrs | 3013 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Zanu PF rigged elections and stampeding us to move on - we must, never again, forget past with sleep
"Usa kanganwa chezuro nehope!" (One must never forget yesterday's troubles with sleep!) so goes the Shona adage. All those who forget the past are doomed to repeat the same mistake over and over again...Published: 11 Sep 2018 at 19:55hrs | 2224 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ED rigged the elections, first came cash shortage and next is the exodus - no lights to turn out
"If Kinnock wins today will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights." Screamed the headlines in The Sun April 1992, Britain's leading tabloid newspaper. Neil Kinnock, Labour, did n...Published: 07 Sep 2018 at 06:56hrs | 1193 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'GNU is best foot forward' some say - feeble excuse for appeasing vote rigging Zanu PF, again
Desperate people do desperate things but there is nothing more irrational that doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.Everyone knows that Zanu PF rigged these el...Published: 04 Sep 2018 at 19:43hrs | 1460 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'ED stole elections!' insist Chamisa - what happened to 'stringent measures to stop rigging'?
MDC Alliance leader Nelson Chamisa wants any talks with President Emmerson Mnangagwa to yield electoral reforms and an economic rescue package for the country. "On 29 August 2018, the national...Published: 03 Sep 2018 at 08:13hrs | 1453 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Chamisa and ED must find each other,' argues Standard - to what end, appease vote rigging junta
It is heartening that many Zimbabweans are finally taking the country’s economic and political situation with the seriousness the matter demands. After decades of burying their heads in the sand and...Published: 02 Sep 2018 at 13:17hrs | 948 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Con-Court helped ED bury vote rigging evidence - just as Smith's judges did
Before independence it was common to hear of a white farmer beating up his black worker, tie him up with a rope and drag him around in his vehicle. The worker would die of his injuries. The court woul...Published: 01 Sep 2018 at 07:35hrs | 746 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Thucydides' 'something is not quite fair' with elections - is no licence to rig elections
One of the things that has helped to drag us into the economic and political mess we are in as a nation is our failure to distinguish the wood from the trees, the trivial from the important, lies and ...Published: 31 Aug 2018 at 21:21hrs | 735 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Mnangagwa is 'mark 2 Mugabe and deserves no support!' says UK MP - Hallelujah! Amen!
If President Mnangagwa was beginning to feel that he had blatantly rigged the elections and going to get away with it he has just had a very rude wake-up call. British MP Kate Hoey has spelt it in pla...Published: 29 Aug 2018 at 19:08hrs | 10060 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'There is massive doctoring of evidence,' charged MDC - with no voters' roll, cannot prove it
Let me say it again, these elections were rigged and the only way to have stopped the rigging was by implementing the democratic reforms designed to take away Zanu PF's carte blanche powers to rig the...Published: 23 Aug 2018 at 07:17hrs | 2704 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'MDC did well, winning 64 MP seats,' boasted Cross - elections were rigged, for Pete's sake
MDC leaders sold-out during the GNU, if you lot had implemented the democratic reforms we would not still be in this mess! Many thinking Zimbabweans have long lost patience with you MDC leaders and I ...Published: 23 Aug 2018 at 07:08hrs | 5955 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Chamisa cannot be trusted in the GNU much less to govern,' says ED apologist - true but neither can ED
Those who defend the indefensible are fools and Zanu PF apologists are some of the biggest fools there is. Give a fool a long rope and he will hang himself, so goes the adage. Bishop Lazarus, a season...Published: 19 Aug 2018 at 18:47hrs | 10316 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'MDC frothing over rigged elections,' says Newsday - theatrical farce, Biti et al are gloriously happy!
I have read some good article and some bad articles, this is one of the best I have read in many moons!"The MDC Alliance has been frothing at the mouth before, during and after the polls, stating ...Published: 16 Aug 2018 at 13:27hrs | 4384 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
ED proud 'elections were peaceful' - but even he dropped 'free, fair and credible'
Tyrannical regimes are hard to change because they not only brainwash the populous but worse still they brainwash themselves - they start to believe their own lies and propaganda - making it next to i...Published: 15 Aug 2018 at 14:16hrs | 616 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Magaisa get this in your thick head: President Chamisa + 2/3 Zanu PF MPs = most dysfunctional govt ever
Alex Magaisa was the late Morgan Tsvangirai's chief adviser in the last 11 months of the 2008 to 2013 GNU. History will judge the GNU was a wasted golden opportunity to implement the democratic reform...Published: 14 Aug 2018 at 17:30hrs | 13334 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
'Rural voters show fealty to Zanu PF,' says Matyszak - but does that count as free vote
Dear Derek MatyszakI would like to thank you for your excellent article in Zimeye. Thank you.I believe the issue of whether or not these elections were free, fair and credible is a ver...Published: 12 Aug 2018 at 06:49hrs | 1490 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
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