Zimbabwe's women in serious bedroom drought crisis

A startling revelation from the latest 2023–24 Zimbabwe Demographic and Health Survey (ZDHS) has lifted the lid on a silent but significant crisis affecting Zimbabwean marriages: a growing number of couples are living in sexless unions.

The report, published by the Zimbabwe National Statistics Agency (ZIMSTAT) with support from the Government of Zimbabwe, USAID, UNFPA, and the Global Fund, shows that 26% of married women had no sexual activity in the past four weeks. This finding suggests that nearly 1 in 4 marriages may be lacking physical intimacy - a foundational pillar of many long-term relationships.

While 57% of women and 55% of men aged 15–49 reported having had sex in the last four weeks, the gender gap within marriage stands out: more married women than men are reporting no intimacy, suggesting widespread emotional and physical disconnection behind closed doors.

Though Zimbabwe's public discourse on marriage often focuses on economic challenges, infidelity, and parenting struggles, intimacy and affection - the glue that binds relationships - are slipping away unspoken in many households.

Marriage counsellors say they are seeing increasing cases of intimacy breakdowns, particularly among urban couples. Men, under pressure to provide for their families, often juggle multiple jobs or side hustles, endure long workdays, and come home too exhausted to engage emotionally or physically with their partners.

"Many men are physically present but emotionally absent," said one Harare-based family therapist. "Phones, television, or silence have replaced meaningful connection."

Experts say emotional disengagement is often the precursor to intimacy drought. When couples stop talking, sharing, or touching, marriages quietly fall apart, sometimes without either party acknowledging the decline.

Underlying the crisis are deeper structural and cultural factors. According to the ZDHS:

Only 16% of urban women and 4% of rural women are in formally registered marriages, highlighting a high prevalence of informal unions.

10% of married women are in polygamous relationships, which can strain intimacy and cause emotional insecurity.

A median five-year age gap between husbands and wives may also contribute to divergent emotional and sexual needs over time.

These dynamics often leave women, especially in rural and informal marriages, with limited agency to initiate conversations around intimacy, let alone demand it.

The consequences of this unspoken drought are already showing. The report notes that 12% of women are divorced or separated, more than double the rate among men. Counsellors say lack of physical and emotional intimacy is frequently cited in sessions with women seeking to leave or repair their marriages.

"A marriage without intimacy is like a body without a soul," said one pastor who offers pre-marital and marriage counselling in Bulawayo. "We must normalise conversations about affection and connection, not just finances."

Experts warn that the trend, if left unaddressed, could lead to rising rates of infidelity, emotional detachment, and even mental health struggles among spouses silently suffering.

As Zimbabwean couples navigate life in an era of economic uncertainty and shifting gender roles, many are urged to rethink how they communicate, connect, and support each other in relationships.

Counsellors are encouraging open dialogue between partners, calling on men to reassess their emotional availability and for both spouses to prioritise emotional and physical closeness as essential - not optional.

The findings raise a sobering question: Are Zimbabwean marriages slowly disintegrating behind a façade of silence? And more urgently, who will speak up - and act - before more homes grow cold?