Divorce cases on the rise in Bulawayo

AT least 330 couples applied for divorce in Bulawayo during the period between January and August this year, a manual count of the High Court index book figures reveals.

Last week alone, 20 couples applied for divorce in Bulawayo.

Religious leaders, social commentators and legal experts said the numbers showed that the institution of marriage was now devoid of its former "dignity and respect".

Word Centred Generation Foundation pastor Maxwell Mhlolo said the high numbers could be attributed to the failure to choose a partner according to God's laws and that people look for external beauty instead of compatibility when choosing future spouses.

"According to Genesis 2: 21-26, God created one man and one woman for each other in the Garden of Eden. These two become one flesh. The female was inside Adam and when God created Eve he caused Adam to fall into deep sleep.

He became as good as dead. There was a separation of his body and spirit. His spirit was elevated to a higher level while his flesh was at its lower level.

"However, when Adam woke from his deep sleep he managed to identify Eve saying this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. He identified her as such because she came out of him. In the same vein, prospective couples should be friends first before they commit into marriage so that during the subsistence of the marriage they will be able to identify each other from inside going out," said Pastor Mhlolo.

He added that by being friends, you would see each other's weaknesses and develop ways of dealing with them.
"Before entering into a marriage you should have a background of your prospective spouse so that his or her character does not surprise you during the subsistence of the marriage. We have friends of opposite sex but however when we marry we decide to marry strangers," he said.

Social commentator, Mr Pathisa Nyathi, said the high number of divorces was worsened by economic hardships and the individualistic design of today's marriages.

"One possibility of why divorce is high can be explained by economic hardships that men face today. Men are under pressure to provide for their families and this pressure might cause them to leave the marriage institution," he said.

"Marriage in the traditional sense was not an affair between two people. It was an affair between the earthly family, heavenly family and the wider community grouping. Hence when the union experienced marriage stress the community intervened be it by relieving economic stress by providing assistance or by any means necessary.

Divorce was not a common occurrence and as such we should not dismiss our roots but we must borrow from them and apply them in our context."

The biggest casualty has been children with about 90 percent of the couples applying for divorce asking the High Court to rule on the custody of children.

Ms Lisa Ndlovu, who is studying towards a doctorate in child psychology with Unisa, said divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy or girl no matter what the age.

"Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live.

"In the personal history of the boy or girl, parental divorce is a watershed event. Life that follows is significantly changed from how life was before. It (divorce) often elicits a more regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent," said Ms Ndlovu.

Legal expert and prominent Bulawayo lawyer, Mr Dumisani Dube, said the law should frown upon divorce, adultery and fornication if marriage is to be preserved as an august institution.

"Our laws should be aligned with morality and religion. When people enter into marriage they bless their unions with the Word of God but during the subsistence of the marriage, Godly principles are not followed," said Mr Dube.

Last week the Senior Minister of State, Ambassador Simon Khaya Moyo, said Government was worried about divorce, especially among young couples. He described the conduct as "appalling and threatening the moral fabric of society".