Stay away from Pasuwa's wife

KALLISTO PASUWA is a wanted a man and those chasing after him (read Dynamos and FC Platinum) have become so desperate that they have resorted to calling the former national team coach's wife.

There is something - special or weird? - about Kallisto.

Getting hold of him over the phone is a near-impossible task as George Mbwando can testify after his failed bid to offer help in the build-up to the Africa Cup of Nations in Gabon.

So what do you do when the man you desperately want to coach your team is not reachable? Well, you call the wife!

Sir was told this past week that a member of the Dynamos executive, tired of calling Pasuwa without getting any joy, sought Mai Pasuwa's number and gave Madzimai a call.

Although Kenias Mubaiwa has publicly backed incumbent coach Lloyd Mutasa, those close to him are certain the lanky Dynamos boss is not a fan of Samaita and will show him the door at the drop of a hat.

Mutasa's failure to preserve a 2-0 lead at Triangle last Sunday did not do him any good in the eyes of the decision-makers at the once glamorous club, and the axe is inching nearer to his exposed neck.

And Pasuwa, the man who succeeded Mutasa back in 2011 before going on to win four consecutive league titles for DeMbare, is back in the picture.

Instead of exciting Pasuwa – who is currently jobless – this possibility of a throwback to 2011 is actually not that exciting for the coach.

Allow me to quote the high-level source I treated to lunch at that fancy Chinese place along Harare Drive.

"Remember what happened back in 2011? Mutasa was fired and Pasuwa took over and he went on to win big things for the club. There was talk that Mana just came in to take credit for a project that was built by Mutasa.

"This time around Mana is a bit skeptical, he has respect for Mutasa and he doesn't want it to appear as if he has been secretly wishing for a fellow coach's demise.

"Lloyd and Kallisto might not be as close as they used to be but that should not be taken to mean that they hate each other," said the source as he chewed into well-done pork.

Certainly, this one is not a member of an apostolic sect.

Those dreaming of having Pasuwa at DeMbare believe they can sweet talk Mutasa and Biggie Zuze into working as the former Warriors coach's assistants.

The folk are also restless in Zvishavane.

Alive to the growing possibility of Norman Mapeza choosing the national flag over FC Platinum's green and white strip, those in charge at Pure Platinum Play have begun preparing for life after Nomara.

They, like their DeMbare counterparts, have also faced the same problem of Pasuwa not answering his phone or phones.

And Sir has also been informed that Pasuwa's residence has been inundated with calls coming from the mining town of Zvishavane.

After all, Pasuwa was a long-term target for the platinum miners before they settled for Mapeza.

Now this one will be an intriguing cycle: Pasuwa gets fired at the Warriors and ends up at Pure Platinum Play while Mapeza moves in the opposite direction.

Sir exits the scene!

Sir is social media commentator and writes this satirical column in his personal capacity.