'Sexual starvation major cause of domestic violence'

SEXUAL frustration is the major cause of domestic violence, men told a gender-based violence forum in Bulawayo yesterday.

There was fierce debate at a city hotel on the causes of gender-based violence and its effects with men, often the perpetrators, saying their behaviour was motivated by bottled-up conjugal frustration.

The meeting, organised by Enkundleni/Padare Men's Forum and attended by nearly 100 participants, saw men and women trading accusations on the issue of gender-based violence.

A participant, Liberty Luphahla torched a storm when he said sexual starvation was the major problem.

"When a man does not get sexual satisfaction he ends up blowing trivial issues out of proportion," said Luphahla with scores of men nodding.

"A man can beat up his wife for not ironing his clothes or not greeting him but the real issue is that he will be doing it because he has been denied sex."

Said another man: "While men express their frustration on women, women then vent their frustration on their children and the vicious circle continues."

The participants, however, said when such cases come out in the public, they do so as different issues. They said women should be educated to understand the sexual needs of their husbands and that denying them such pleasure can cause domestic violence.

Women weighed in saying they were also emotionally abused by their men and in turn vent their anger on children. Barbra Zhuwarara, a counsellor, said men were also suffering in silence as they were also victims of domestic violence.

"Men are also victims of domestic violence but because of cultural factors they do not report," she said.

A man said: "Absence of reports does not mean there is no domestic violence against men."

During the discussions participants urged men to come out of their shells and report gender-based violence they suffered at the hands of their wives and girlfriends.

Factors such as culture, ego and pride were singled out as dominant reasons why men shy away from reporting abuse by women.

"Men should stop reinforcing stereotypes which suggest that they should not expose abuse when they are hurt," said another participant.

The participants also urged the Government to review policy interventions on domestic violence and ensure they were aligned with the new constitution and existing trends.

They condemned customary marriage saying the system allows abuse especially against the girl-child, many of whom are forced into marriage at tender ages thus forfeiting the opportunity to go to school.

Some religious institutions were also blamed for perpetuating such trends. The rights of the disabled also took centre stage with participants urging the Government to formulate policies that educate medical practitioners on how to handle people living with disabilities. They said people living with disabilities were being sidelined especially in cases to do with their sexuality.

Statistics indicate a surge in cases of domestic violence across the country with men often the perpetrators. In 2008, a total of 1,940 cases were recorded and this year the cases have risen to more than 10,000.

Ironically, it has been noted that many women report domestic violence cases but later withdraw them. Their lack of economic independence is frequently cited as the reason for this.

For example, last month a woman from Luveve suburb in Bulawayo withdrew a court case she had brought up after she had been thoroughly beaten by her husband, leaving her partly blind. Some of the domestic violence cases have resulted in women being murdered.