Opinion / Blogs
Poor Britain is now begging us, COMRADES!
02 Apr 2013 at 12:26hrs | Views
CABINET FILES AND NOTEBOOK WITH CZ
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, last week our re-engagement team with Europe was in London at the invitation of the British government … it is no coincidence that this meeting took place at the same time the European Union was also removing dozens of names from its illegal sanctions list.
You and me know the economic crisis Europe is going through. This explains this sudden change of heart by Britain and her European cousins. The situation is getting bad in that part of the world. It is not surprising that these people are trying to befriend us.
They would want it to appear like they are doing us a huge favour by removing as many people as possible from the sanctions list, when in fact they are only doing themselves a favour … saving themselves from the embarrassment of admitting that those sanctions never worked even for a day.
After failing to install a puppet regime in order to facilitate the looting of our natural resources, they are now desperate to re-build bridges. We will not refuse dialogue with them … there is no harm in that … in fact, we take this as an opportunity to educate them … most of the leaders in those countries are little babies who know practically nothing about life, let alone statesmanship.
Our "Look East" policy has not helped matters at all … you can tell that many of them are having sleepless nights over the presence of the Chinese here.
They are now worried that they will lose everything to our all-weather friends.
It's all about our resources…especially the diamonds, that they are after. And luckily we know it. What happened in the past will never be repeated.
Well, let's see what comes out of these re-engagement talks…Cde Pats will be briefing us when he returns.
Still on the Chinese, it was superfluous for President Xi Jinping to include Harare in his tour of Africa as we already have very strong relations … it would have appeared like we were crowding out those colleagues who are still in the process of building strong bonds with the Asian giant.
Yours Sincerely
Kindest Regards
ME
... AND NOW TO THE NOTEBOOK
If only..!
It is sad that Chinese brand new President Cde Xi Jinping flew over Zimbabwe on his way to South Africa for the BRICS summit… his predecessor, Hu Jintao did the same a few years back. Even though this has nothing to do with the illegal sanctions imposed on this country, but due to exigencies of time which results on them running on very tight schedules, it would have been nice if the Chinese leader had just made a brief stop-over at the Harare International Airport. You and me know that there are hard-boiled detractors out there who believe that our relationship with the Chinese is not mutual and symbiotic - that we need them more than they need us - so this would have proved these people wrong.
Curious!
CZ, just like any other Zimbo, finds it strange that Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and his Movement for Democratic Change formation seem to be trusting their Zanu-PF coalition partners the way we trust our grandmothers, even in light of the abuse that they have been subjected to of late. They somehow seem to believe that everything that has been happening is a result of a few overzealous rogue elements in the other camp and all will be fine. They should be the people who are best positioned to understand their partners very well now. Unless there is something they know that we do not know, some of us do not see how the coming elections will be different from previous ones. Let's wait and see.
Facts and figures
This one came from one loyal CZ fan who seems to be too commonsensical to be an African: "The United States, with a population of 350 million people, has 435 congressional delegates. Zimbabwe has 12 million people and I understand there is a proposal to have 335 parliamentarians. Yet the country is always saying it has no money. We have duplicated ministries, two Vice Presidents, two Deputy Prime Ministers and two Home Affairs Ministers. This all is because we care about the personal comfort of certain mortals at the expense of the country. When do we begin to worry about building a country for the benefit of all present and future generations?"
We call people who dare ask our leaders such discomforting questions sell-outs, and this one surely qualifies as one! Our God-given leaders should never be questioned as every decision they make comes from their illimitable wisdom.
Embattled
Outgoing Central African Republic (CAR) President Francois Bozize this week fled to the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) when rebels descended on the presidential palace after being irritated by his dilly-dallying in implementing agreed terms of a power-sharing deal. Very little tears for him as he came into power though a 2003 coup … even though he later sought a veneer of legitimacy by holding elections that he naturally made sure he emerged the winner. It is not at all strange that there are some African leaders who are feeling sorry for him…the legitimacy of most leaders on the continent is a subject of huge debate.
Meanwhile, body bags are beginning to arrive in South Africa, a small price to pay for the big brother's badge that comes with the responsibility of being almost everywhere on the continent. As we speak, South Africa has been all over…Lesotho, Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, DRC, CAR, Somalia, you name it!
Thank heavens, we are no longer involved in this. We had our own time, and we learnt our lessons the hard way! Remember the siege at Ikela during our involvement in the DRC conflict?
Sorry
We are told things are happening in Malawi. After noisily selling off the presidential jet purchased by her predecessor, the late Bingu wa Mutharika in order to please the donor community, we are told that President Joyce Banda is now taking bilateral co-operations to new levels. The whole idea was to cut costs by travelling on commercial flights, but we are told she has decided to cut costs further by hitch-hiking to international conferences. We are told her request for a lift from President Ian Khama of Botswana was recently turned down politely.
As much as Khama might have thought that - being a bachelor of note - giving favours to a female colleague could scandalise him, there are also other security considerations.
Each country has its own security issues to worry about … which reminds us of the 1994 incident in which the president of Burundi Cyprien Ntaryamira died in cross-fire when a plane he was sharing with his Rwandan counterpart Juvenal Habyarimana, from a peace conference in Tanzania, was shot down by the latter's foes as it prepared to land in Kigali.
Now the story goes on like this … friends of this column are swearing that if Cde Jacob Zuma down south gets to know of the good madam's plight, he might not only offer to share a plane with her, but a hotel suite as well!
Tired
Last week, CZ was at the lobby of this three-star hotel in the capital, which is a member of this large hotel group, when four European tourists came down from their rooms as they were planning to go to Imire Game Park near Marondera. To CZ's surprise, none of the dozen or so hotel staff, including some who were dressed and strutting in a managerly way, could be useful to the tourists … they had no clue where the place was. One even said that no such place existed in Zimbabwe! It was even worse when the ladies called a taxi driver from outside and asked him how much he could charge them for a trip to the place … after telling them that he had never heard of the place, he went on to charge them US$15, which they challenged as they felt it was too little for a distance that they had been told was one and a half hours drive from Harare.
Ya-ah, talk about passion for one's work! We want foreigners to know about places of interest in our country when even the people who are working in the sector are not at all interested in knowing their own industry?
-cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, last week our re-engagement team with Europe was in London at the invitation of the British government … it is no coincidence that this meeting took place at the same time the European Union was also removing dozens of names from its illegal sanctions list.
You and me know the economic crisis Europe is going through. This explains this sudden change of heart by Britain and her European cousins. The situation is getting bad in that part of the world. It is not surprising that these people are trying to befriend us.
They would want it to appear like they are doing us a huge favour by removing as many people as possible from the sanctions list, when in fact they are only doing themselves a favour … saving themselves from the embarrassment of admitting that those sanctions never worked even for a day.
After failing to install a puppet regime in order to facilitate the looting of our natural resources, they are now desperate to re-build bridges. We will not refuse dialogue with them … there is no harm in that … in fact, we take this as an opportunity to educate them … most of the leaders in those countries are little babies who know practically nothing about life, let alone statesmanship.
Our "Look East" policy has not helped matters at all … you can tell that many of them are having sleepless nights over the presence of the Chinese here.
They are now worried that they will lose everything to our all-weather friends.
It's all about our resources…especially the diamonds, that they are after. And luckily we know it. What happened in the past will never be repeated.
Well, let's see what comes out of these re-engagement talks…Cde Pats will be briefing us when he returns.
Still on the Chinese, it was superfluous for President Xi Jinping to include Harare in his tour of Africa as we already have very strong relations … it would have appeared like we were crowding out those colleagues who are still in the process of building strong bonds with the Asian giant.
Yours Sincerely
Kindest Regards
ME
If only..!
It is sad that Chinese brand new President Cde Xi Jinping flew over Zimbabwe on his way to South Africa for the BRICS summit… his predecessor, Hu Jintao did the same a few years back. Even though this has nothing to do with the illegal sanctions imposed on this country, but due to exigencies of time which results on them running on very tight schedules, it would have been nice if the Chinese leader had just made a brief stop-over at the Harare International Airport. You and me know that there are hard-boiled detractors out there who believe that our relationship with the Chinese is not mutual and symbiotic - that we need them more than they need us - so this would have proved these people wrong.
Curious!
CZ, just like any other Zimbo, finds it strange that Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and his Movement for Democratic Change formation seem to be trusting their Zanu-PF coalition partners the way we trust our grandmothers, even in light of the abuse that they have been subjected to of late. They somehow seem to believe that everything that has been happening is a result of a few overzealous rogue elements in the other camp and all will be fine. They should be the people who are best positioned to understand their partners very well now. Unless there is something they know that we do not know, some of us do not see how the coming elections will be different from previous ones. Let's wait and see.
Facts and figures
This one came from one loyal CZ fan who seems to be too commonsensical to be an African: "The United States, with a population of 350 million people, has 435 congressional delegates. Zimbabwe has 12 million people and I understand there is a proposal to have 335 parliamentarians. Yet the country is always saying it has no money. We have duplicated ministries, two Vice Presidents, two Deputy Prime Ministers and two Home Affairs Ministers. This all is because we care about the personal comfort of certain mortals at the expense of the country. When do we begin to worry about building a country for the benefit of all present and future generations?"
We call people who dare ask our leaders such discomforting questions sell-outs, and this one surely qualifies as one! Our God-given leaders should never be questioned as every decision they make comes from their illimitable wisdom.
Embattled
Outgoing Central African Republic (CAR) President Francois Bozize this week fled to the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) when rebels descended on the presidential palace after being irritated by his dilly-dallying in implementing agreed terms of a power-sharing deal. Very little tears for him as he came into power though a 2003 coup … even though he later sought a veneer of legitimacy by holding elections that he naturally made sure he emerged the winner. It is not at all strange that there are some African leaders who are feeling sorry for him…the legitimacy of most leaders on the continent is a subject of huge debate.
Meanwhile, body bags are beginning to arrive in South Africa, a small price to pay for the big brother's badge that comes with the responsibility of being almost everywhere on the continent. As we speak, South Africa has been all over…Lesotho, Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, DRC, CAR, Somalia, you name it!
Thank heavens, we are no longer involved in this. We had our own time, and we learnt our lessons the hard way! Remember the siege at Ikela during our involvement in the DRC conflict?
Sorry
We are told things are happening in Malawi. After noisily selling off the presidential jet purchased by her predecessor, the late Bingu wa Mutharika in order to please the donor community, we are told that President Joyce Banda is now taking bilateral co-operations to new levels. The whole idea was to cut costs by travelling on commercial flights, but we are told she has decided to cut costs further by hitch-hiking to international conferences. We are told her request for a lift from President Ian Khama of Botswana was recently turned down politely.
As much as Khama might have thought that - being a bachelor of note - giving favours to a female colleague could scandalise him, there are also other security considerations.
Each country has its own security issues to worry about … which reminds us of the 1994 incident in which the president of Burundi Cyprien Ntaryamira died in cross-fire when a plane he was sharing with his Rwandan counterpart Juvenal Habyarimana, from a peace conference in Tanzania, was shot down by the latter's foes as it prepared to land in Kigali.
Now the story goes on like this … friends of this column are swearing that if Cde Jacob Zuma down south gets to know of the good madam's plight, he might not only offer to share a plane with her, but a hotel suite as well!
Tired
Last week, CZ was at the lobby of this three-star hotel in the capital, which is a member of this large hotel group, when four European tourists came down from their rooms as they were planning to go to Imire Game Park near Marondera. To CZ's surprise, none of the dozen or so hotel staff, including some who were dressed and strutting in a managerly way, could be useful to the tourists … they had no clue where the place was. One even said that no such place existed in Zimbabwe! It was even worse when the ladies called a taxi driver from outside and asked him how much he could charge them for a trip to the place … after telling them that he had never heard of the place, he went on to charge them US$15, which they challenged as they felt it was too little for a distance that they had been told was one and a half hours drive from Harare.
Ya-ah, talk about passion for one's work! We want foreigners to know about places of interest in our country when even the people who are working in the sector are not at all interested in knowing their own industry?
-cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - FinGaz
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