He was my Facebook friend

To befriend a world record holding criminal was something that sounded strange to me and my own.

That when I realised it after being summoned for an answering by the Criminal Investigating Department (CID) almost worsened things for me especially my conscience.

But when i had been calmed down by the 'caring' and 'loving' Mrs Elias the investigation committe Chair Lady.

She had not yet been married but,if it was to be said she had never had a relationship it would take one to be brainwashed thrice a day for a year to be able to believe that.

She was beatiful such that once a man had taken a glance at her,he would have an everlasting lust for the rest of his life and some of the married men would chase away their wives for ugliness once they reached their homes be it after work.

As for me I had forgotten that I had been summoned to answer on why I had been a friend of the notorious Mamlo a criminal who had been nuisance for smuggling the property of civilians at will and also that he had been fingered of having committed ten counts of robbery and a three-fold of rape counts.

Mamlo was said to have started his unsmart profession way back before the years of the turn of Millenium. In fact what really transpired was that after his Uncle Sam had ceased to provide him with the basic needs almost two years after the death of his parents,he dropped out of school and ran away from his Uncle's compound.

Mamlo's parents had died in a misterious way,a political foul play in which they were burnt to ashes in their house in Guvamombe Farms. Luckily Mamlo's gods had smiled on him by granting him with an escapade to life by luring him to the National Basketball fundraising dinner for the Under 17 team. That's how he had escaped the horror show.

Worringly though was the reaction of the government on this matter. It moved quickly to suppress the rumours of a political foul play as baseless and tried to blame electrical fault for the bizzarre. It had refused an exhumation of the two bodies after their burial at the National Shrine.

And this had greatly affected Mamlo's life to the nerves.

According to the custom he had been given to his "father" Uncle Sam who was a man with a steel made heart.

Some had suggested he might have won it from his heroic participation in the liberation struggle where he was outstanding from day one he had joined the war to the last. Surprisingly he had got nothing,no reward be it a pinch or lump of salt.

After he had ran away from Uncle Sam, Mamlo had comfortably settled at his new "area of residence" the Shalaba street. He had mixed and mingled with a variety of different guys like himself in terms of history but differed in character as the other boys had become animals in human bodies. During the day they would be involved in the business of pick-pocketing but during the night they would turn into robbers. Real robbers armed with famous AK-47s.

This had been a society which had errorneously moulded Mamlo to be a global icon in the business of robbery that he was about to be entered in the World Guniess Books of Records. In this one the government had taken a swift measure to have Mamlo be brought to justuce,hence my call for an answering by the CIDs. This was the highest investigating organisation in the land which mainly focused on hot headed criminals.

At its offices,the environment was so silent that even if a needle fell on the floor it would bang as if a bale has been rung by a strong iron steel.

When I entered my heart beat as if there was a village girl inside it pounding peanut butter for an evening meal with pumpkin leaves mixed with butter.

All the way I had been led by a certain young policeman in his early 30s or late 20s.

I was directed straight to the boardroom where a committe of seven had been waiting for me.

Just as I got into the room a voice interupted my thoughts by shouting, "Look at that giraffe."

Everyone laughed except me.I was angry by being mocked of my tallness. Then the second person said,

"I think he is also a robber ,we no longer need more evidence." At the mention of the word robber I felt my whole body being drained of strenght that I almost collapsed.

Whilst I had been visited by confusion a voice interupted my thoughts. It was the Chair Lady of the ad hoc committe Mrs Elias. She said, "Are you Tanaka the friend of Mamlo the robber." Honestly I wanted to answer her but I did not remember that among my friends I had someone called Mamlo. Moreso a robber.

When I had gathered strenght I stammered, "I........I.......don't........ know .........him." A gentleman' voice then said,

"You lie you are his friend we saw you with Mamlo last month." I had been crucified now and no longer had a way out. Mrs Elias then added, "And we are asking you that because you were the first person to befriend Mamlo on facebook."

Facebook had become a popular site that it would be an honour to be a first friend to someone especially a popular person(celebrities,criminals et cetra et cetra). When I heard of the news of my landmark achievement of becoming the first friend of Mamlo,I almost rejoiced,but the time was not allowing for me to do that. While I was thinking a voice said, "Convict him." It continued, "He has got a case to answer when we find Mamlo." My fate had been sealed. Another then said, "And also in court." At that moment the young officer who had come with me handcuffed me and I was led to the Central Police Station Prison. Chikurubi.....? I then realised that I had got arrested for the sake that he was my facebook friend and not on merit and justice.

Author: Wilson Chipangura

Extracted from the book The Return From Exile....Poems & Other Stories.