Of Mujuru and Tsvangirai: A coalition of blunder masters

The last time I witnessed a national power conferring ceremony was when President Mugabe offered Justice Luke Malaba the reigns to lead the judiciary in Zimbabwe as Chief Justice. The ceremony happened at State House, the President's official residency. Justice Malaba took his clan, friends, spouse and children so they could witness the momentous occasion. Everything was fine with the ceremony and venue; in fact, it was a colorful and flawless ceremony that was worth drinking to.

The choice of venue has an important power dynamic imagery in it. Construction House in Leopold Takawira Street of Harare is a meet-me venue for many date seeking youths. This is a popular spot because of its open and spacious environs. This set up gives potential daters the freedom and security necessary to be in a position to contribute to the development of the relationship in an equal fashion.

Now enter the avenues, girls of the night will take their 'suitors' to their bedrooms where they have more social power than their clients. True indeed, the girls will be offering service to paying customers; an arrangement that has an exterior reflection of equal transacting power. However, if the truth be told, the ladies of the night have more social power in the transaction given that they have 'home advantage' by being owners of the turf. In soccer, having home advantage is considered a plus towards winning the game.

And now we enter the Grand Coalition circus in the opposition movement. We see the heavily dented Mujuru driving to Tsvangirai's State house to sign her interest to work with him to stage a huge challenge on Zanu PF in 2018. Now, let us dissect this little ceremony.

Mujuru's walking into Tsvangirai's home is similar to the avenues scenario. The venue is far from being neutral. In fact, the venue imagery portrays Tsvangirai as the power giver and not the recipient while Mujuru is the receiver. President Mugabe did not need to go to CJ Malaba's home to give him power to lead the judiciary. What he did is above board.

Interesting in the coalition MOU transaction is that it is a ceremony between equally blunder-some political characters. Only a fortnight earlier, Mujuru was speechifying that she has vast government experience at very senior level and would rather go farming than co-habiting with Tsvangirai as a junior partner. But here she is, walking straight into Tsvangirai's home to receive some necessary and badly needed political accommodation. Mujuru has four major political junctures that have proven her beyond doubt to be a lackluster political leader.

First, Mujuru only realized the need to oppose Zanu PF after she was shown the door from government and Zanu PF. This explains that her opposition politics is a reactionary push factor move which in the absence of her expulsion could not have materialized anyway. Given this background, it simply means that her input into her political empire is slowed down by peeping behind her shoulder what Zanu PF is doing or not doing instead of doing her politics naturally.

Secondly, Mujuru failed to hold her maiden party (ZimPF) for a continuous 12 months following its formation. Her nasty fallout with her former comrades is a transparent indication of a leader that cannot command the necessary clout to unite a party. And now she is gunning to lead a coalition while she lacks the charisma to hold a little party of her own! Only a few weeks ago, her two spokespersons in yet another brand new party inside a year fought to the bone as she helplessly watched. How really will she hold the marauding opinions of a volatile political movement which is to be composed of teems of divergent views?

Thirdly, Mujuru has already shown that speaking is not her best of abilities. The game of politics unfortunately is for those that are good on the podium. A good politician must be able to articulate her position quickly in the shortest availed time. In this regard, she is beaten hands down by many other wannabes peeping the grand coalition fences. Her only capital is the claim that I have been in government'. She forgets that a dog has been to the moon before. Half her speeches in London a couple of weeks ago exposed her as a lying charlatan and dull politician who is not worth an interview even with a primary school club radio.

Fourth and lastly, Mujuru appears to want to play hard to get yet she is exposing herself to be too desperate to plunge the coalition waters even with a nak*d body. When she gets away from Tsvangirai, she puts strong demands in the public domain only to resurface in Tsvangirai's face donning larger than life meekness. She evidently was a huge hypocrite of a minister and deputy during her 34 years in Zanu PF and government. She does not do as she says. Appearing at Tsvangirai's home was clear testimony that she is ready to receive any spoils availed by Tsvangirai. Her behavior is a tale tell sign that she lied to her boss during her government days no wonder she was deposed after she was exposed. If her marriage with Tsvangirai succeeds, she remains a possible candidate for expulsion.

 

Mujuru is visibly happy to be prostituted in order to receive the necessary comforts she will be chasing. This may explain well the Queen Bee tale.

And now to Tsvangirai; the man has already shown an insatiable hunger for statehouse and is doing everything unwanted in any coalition talks. Why really must Tsvangirai play the ZEC of the coalition? Why should he take his home to be the coalition negotiation command centre?

Tsvangirai's actions are far from being innocent. He knows pretty well that his Highlands home is a Prime Ministerial exit package. To him, he want to use the imagery of the house as a shadow state house where he can sit and dish out political powers to little politicians like Mujuru and other interested faces. I have spoken of home advantage in my introductory paragraphs up there. The MDC leader is very deliberate in his tracks towards the coalition.

Tsvangirai's behavior reflects a bumpy road ahead for the coalition if ever it shall see the light of day. A possible scenario will be the emergency of two coalition factions, one fronted by Tsvangirai and his admirers and another by disgruntled others. The obvious outcome would be the demise of the said coalitions and the success of Zanu PF. This will seal the fate of both Mujuru and Tsvangirai and their respective crisis prone parties.