Robert Mugabe: Asifuni Bumbulu - Give us a cabinet that places uMthwakazi in key Government and State positions!

First things first: re-shuffle yourself first, Mr Mugabe!

At a 100, you have no place (forget, right) being there. Retire yourself to your rural home and leave State House. We all know you are hiding at State House, but at a 100, you are hiding from your shadow, not from anybody else.

 don't have to drop dead behind a podium in that most undignified and ignoble of ways, though your tens of thousands of your victims won't be too sad to witness such a spectacle!
You are in no position to be appointing anyone – at 100! Let alone, a right to be there – at a 100!

But back to your big yawn you call a 'cabinet' 're-shuffle' (note, both 'cabinet' and 're-shuffle' are in quotes!).

Your friends, your family and extended family, your distended totems, your praise-singers, your boot-leakers, your fellow partners in crime (your looteritariat and paid assassins and hatchetman of various descriptions); that assortment of criminals in your depraved court, made up of arsonists, murderers, extortionists, mules (squirreling looted government funds to foreign accounts and other contraband); that ever-expanding network of call girls in your depraved court and at your lowly service; and that now ubiquitous coterie of false prophets and bishops (some write for you on a local weekly) massaging your ego and oiling your Mafia operations, are not cabinet!

You are laughable, not just because of the twalatsa dance you perform clownishly at podiums in international fora (telling you get the f*** out of there!), but because everybody is laughing at you, not with you.

This mischief-making you call a 'cabinet' 're-shuffle' …! Well, the joke is on you, you old, evil and shamed but apparently shameless tyrant! You pretend, but shame and humiliation is written all over you. We see it daily. It's so obvious!
So, asifuni bumbulu!!

Stop sending Ndebeles (your paid collaborators) to the naughty corner of 'cabinet' you call Home Affairs, a 'ministry' first created to humiliate Joshua Nkomo. Since then, it has become the dumping ground for Ndebeles happy to pick up the crumbs from your low table of deceit, hate, infamy, and unfettered greed.

From Joshua Nkomo, through Dumiso Dabengwa and now to Obert 'Lootall-and-Everything' Mpofu, they have run out of saliva leaking receipts for death and birth certificates (note, not birth and death certificates!) and drained of muscle stamping the same!

Who has ever heard of a ministry of Home Affairs or State Security that produces anything or creates any wealth?

So, where are Ndebeles in the ministry of Finance (heading that as Minister of Finance), or Foreign Affairs, creating the political conditions for investments and entrepreneurship, 40 years after Zimbabwe's independence (read, Shona independence)?

You all know the rest of the wealth-making ministries, agencies, and directorships, where the Ndebele – uMthwakazi – are conspicuous by their choreographed absence.

Now, lobu yibumbulu bekhehla, umkhumence walo!
Asisafuni bumbulu please!
Sikhathele ngobumeku

Bayede, dlondlobala Mthwakazi. And remember Mthwakazi, revolutions are fought in the middle of, and through, deceptions, infiltrators, informers, sell-outs, hired and paid collaborators, shameless opportunists, vile evil, physical violence and legalistic violence. Ours will too, and is!

And kade yafohla bantu!!!