Here and There - ibhavu yemalokitshini

A Chronicle roving photographers on an assignment to cover Makopo's (Emakhandeni's) water woes on Tuesday captured a woman proudly holding her waist in front of a queue waiting for a water bowser from uMazayi (Bulawayo City Council). Strategically placed in front of her was ibhavu.

Ibhavu, for those who do not know, is a dish that the pioneers of indigenisation, Amapostori, have mastered in making using galvanised sheets.

Ibhavu has always been part of eMalokitshini - long before showers and bathtubs became the in-thing. Mothers treasured amabhavu - special permission had to be sought by anyone who wanted to borrow it. Mothers would easily fit all the little ones and bath them. Ibhavu was handy when it came to washing blankets - that was the time when bedwetting was almost like a fad, what with washing lines and ingotsha (rubber hedge) every morning sagging under the weight of wet blankets. Washing blankets was an enjoyable exercise for kids. They would enjoy jumping into ibhavu and stomping on the blankets until omama ordered them out. When not in use, ibhavu was stashed on top of the wardrobe where it doubled up as a laundry basket. It some cases, it was hung on the wall to avoid taking up a lot of space in the small rooms of eMalokishini.

During parties and weddings, ibhavu would be filled up with drinks covered by ice blokes.

At funerals two amabhavu would be positioned by the gates for those returning from the cemetery to wash their hands - and faces too for some. One bhavu had water and the smelly Umsuzwane leaves (meant for the traditionalists and the superstitious) and the one had plain water (for the Christians and not-so-superstitious).

Talking about funerals, last week I promised to look into Terence Ranger's Dignifying Death book. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen problems I cannot do so this week. Watch next weekend's column..

For all your feedback, zikomo, ngiyabonga, ndinotenda.

Last Saturday I got a phone call from a Mr Nkomo from Luveve. He was worried about sudden silence on ikhabhiza (drinking cabinet) of late and also wanted to find out whether the recent price hikes in the creative juices (beer) had anything to do with it.

Well, ikhabhiza is very much together. Actually it has grown bigger. What with the school holidays and the ever escalating prices of inyembezi zika Queen (bottled beers), we are getting new members almost every day.

But then, Sunday News, carried story that almost brought a collective heart attack to drinkers who love the open spaces and the confines and exclusiveness of oMaMkhize (shebeens). The police would now arrest, detain and take to court any public drinking repeat offenders. Eish!

Admittedly, police raids at bottlestores (affectionately known as speed bars) and koMaMkhize, have always brought the best in drinkers. All sorts of tricks have been employed to avoid being arrested. These include hiding behind deep freezers, curtains, in bathrooms, jumping into bed fully clothed and pretending to the be father of the house. A member our khabhiza even had the guts to climb up a tree when he saw oBlack Boots approaching the shebeen he had just been kicked out of. The police missed him. Unfortunately, he fell asleep on the tree and came down with a thud long after the police had gone.

The only option now is to drink ebhizo (beergarden) but then what of residents of Ekhala Nyoni (Cowdray Park)?

As fate would have it, the lawyers have also hiked their consultations fees to around $2 million per an hour. Those in the habit of threatening to call their lawyers every time they are raided at shebeens and bottlestores will surely have second thoughts. Unlike in the previous scenario, I am sure the lawyers would be more than willing to wake up in the middle of the night to prepare to release their clients from efensini. Now the hassle of answering endless calls from the wives/husbands, family and employers while waiting to be taken to court.

OmaMkhize, being the survivors that they are, might come up with new strategies - like hosting endless Birthday Parties or After Tears Parties (a new phenomenon especially after funerals sponsored by Diasporans).

Asazi!

"Hie Wills. Is fresh milk still offered for free at primary schools? Maybe that is why ukulova engidla was not so rampant. Those were the early 80s eLotshe… (091801915)."

"Ngo 1982 sisiya ku competition e-Sizinda ngaboleka isihlangu esimnyama kujaha okuthiwa ngu Silas. Ngahlekwa yizitshomi zisithi uSilas usifuna sesipholishiwe. (091365727)."

"Your article yesterday reminded me of my early days in Chinhoyi where after a long day of playing soccer in the dusty streets our parents would tell us to take a cold shower. (023319255)"

"Akumudzi bwanji bambo? A sticker in a kombi reads: 'Nurses do it with patience'. Whatever it is? - S.K. (091952617).

At least the signwriter got his spelling right. Imagine if he had replaced the "ce" with "ts"!

"Eh Wills. Back to emaroots. Uyalwazi ugcabho wena? - Sindy (091903113).

"Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrows keep you human. Failure keeps you humble. Success keeps you glowing. But only uMantengwane keeps you going and flying. - Unodumehlezi. (091356242)."

"I was on holiday and guess where? Vumbachikwe Mine on the outskirts of Gwanda. Do you still remember the Ndebele novels 'esasiwabala' about the mine? Why not take a break from eMalokitshini one and visit 'ezinkomponi'? - 091365562."

"Thank you for your column that I read online whenever I can. Living in the UK what I miss the most about home and eMalokitshini is the sunshine- ukulothamela ilanga until I fall asleep. I have such a shortage of it here its driving me mad- even the pounds are not worth this! Siyabonga. - Noyise Nyathi".

"Wills, wena mfana ngakudla ku ski! Kanti uyakhumbula yini early 80s umntwana lowana owazalwa eMagwegwe okwakuthiwa uzelwe elendevu and wathi abantu kumele bagqize amalala otherwise kuzabalomkhuhlane o blayindi?

Then kwabuya into yetiye leyana! That was Blues for sure. On another note, kanti uShowa lo Manyanyatha usabakhumbula yini? Ijoni leliyana uCoetze who was a terror to omama abathengisa imbhida.

Thanks topi for the wonderful column. Ngiyayidinga every week as it takes me back home. - Themba Sgero (UK)"

Will keep you updated on uShowa. Did you see the one on uMorali?

"Nice column! Gaya I respect the guy who designed olami ngilayo

(hipsters). He deserves a lifetime achievement award .... he/she definitely made some of the less facially gifted sisters something to smile about...i mean isgengela... From fohsta, fohsta@coolgoose.com"

"I grew up in Mtshabingo, Vulindlela. My dad used to a have a house nicknamed Modern Paradise. Do you happen to know about notorius gangster called (name withheld) whom it is claimed he cut his dad's private parts?

Indeed some of us are familiar with the 70's and 80's. I had a tough time dealing with problematic lodgers who failed to pay on time. Also there was a neighbour who used to borrow a bucket of mealie-meal and never to replaced as promised.

Anyone who remembers Blues township football teams: Combat in Mpopoma (who were often accused of cheating), Bulawayo Warriors in Tshabalala, Blue Bombers, Ingwebu and so forth?

Do you remember early Rastas in Tshabalala -Gedion--Stanley (tailor) Dennis?

How is Cold Storage (Ezibayeni) and Embuzini where we used to buy amathumbu enkomo. Oh! Oh! Oh! please my best amasese, half zangatha. - From Robbie (UK), moletil@aol.com."

"This is just to say that I have been greatly enjoying your series of township pieces, especially 'Worshipping emalokitshini'. I have been writing a book about the history of Bulawayo between 1890 and 1960, which has been taking too long to finish. It is to be called 'Bulawayo Burning' as a tribute to Yvonne Vera's 'Butterfly Burning' and I wish I had been able to present her with it before she died. Anyway I attach an article on funerals in the townships, mostly in Makokoba, which was published last year and which you may enjoy. Good wishes. - From Terry Ranger."