The Ultimate power of the 'minority card' in Zimbabwe! (Part 1)

My friend, you better pay attention now because no one else could ever tell you this truth and SECRET, or rather make sure you read this article word for word! There is an age-old secret which is more of a "Seal for Zimbabwe" l have decided to divulge to you today simply because l have mastered the art and science of decision-making. It was definitely not an easy decision to let go of the "secret", l have risked the wrath of ancestors, or should l say God Himself! It's more like the son of the KFC family revealing the "secret herbs and spices" or the Prince of the Coca-Cola empire telling you the secret-ingredients or mixture in their brew! Actually, as someone almost a Decision Scientist by profession, of which it is only a matter of months now before l am fully qualified in that field through Unisa, l did my calculations well enough around the alternatives then just made a choice of this risky topic for the sake of putting my recent knowledge into practice. Sorry, simply just forgive me l had no other option left but to first narrate this short and seemingly irrelevant journey to my ultimate and best decision!

Let me begin by asking this question, "Did you know who has a ‘birth-right' to rule or be the paramount leader in a "sovereign" state called Zimbabwe?" Did l hear you just say it is anyone who is a "Shona"? Voetsek you're VERY WRONG, instead it is the minority tribe or race! If you are from the minority tribe or race then just play your minority card very well and we will meet you at the Palace! Oops, stupid you and me they now call it the "State house"! But, at least you must have noticed if you did not simply choose to be just ignorant of the fact that the land now known as Zimbabwe has been ruled by "foreigners", (as you might want to call some people in this beautiful land), from as far as l have to begin explaining why it so. Alright, just fasten your mental-belts l am now taking off with you in a mental flight back to two centuries ago and the destination is the last half of the 1800s!

Here we go and there we are for a brief history lesson in just a few minutes! I am now during the times of the Ndebele state. I will begin during those times because it is only where an organised leadership of people with no significant, if any at all, internal "conflicts" or brutal civil wars for power which can be easily observed or even worth a mention in what is now known as Zimbabwe. Obviously you must know the Ndebele kingdom was ruled by the minority Nguni, largely the Khumalos where you have the mighty Mzilikazi and the fearless Lobengula who belonged to the abeZansi group or clan. You can also use your fingers to count a few being groomed for leadership from the abeNhla group who were a larger group than the Nguni, then you have your "majority" amaHole where you will definitely struggle to count more than two who were assigned a few leadership-like roles to play! All of these voluntarily are naturalised Ndebeles as we obviously all know them in the present day terms, but it is clear even in the history books who was the boss amongst them!

Moving right along into the next stage you now have the very minority whites, who were fewer than all the "naturalised" and united Ndebele people who genuinely all have no problem being identified as such even today! Anyone who claims not to be a Ndebele, they never were and shall never be one! Back to the whites, as from the early 1900s when they had established their foundation and re-grouped together many seemingly identical tribes such as the Karanga, Korekore, Ndau, Manyika, Zezuru and so forth; they then ruled over their land which also rightfully belonged to the Ndebele state by conquer. Mind you there is no such tribe called the "Shona" except to someone with a crisis of identity!

However, the whites having infiltrated that camp, it happened they won the support of the weak and "leaderless" tribes within this group of people and converted them to be "whitened-blacks" or "black-whites", hence the whites became the "majority" by default before attacking all the naturalised and strong Ndebele group under the heir-apparent, famous, visionary and democratic (popular choice by most Ndebeles, which is all the abeZansi including the abeNhla and amaHole) leadership of Lobengula. No wonder most "Shonas", for the lack of a better identity name, still want to disrespectfully point an accusing finger (Oh my God, you don't do such to an Honourable King!) and "blame" Lobengula for having "sold" the land of Zimbabwe in exchange for whatever to settlers simply because  he was also undisputedly their popular, chosen and respectable leader too. You can ask them why they're not blaming Nehanda if she was democratically their recognised leader. And guess what, it is still the same cursed "blaming finger" now pointed at Blair and Bush! Forget that, as you all know the rest is history and the pure whites up to the times of Smith ruled over the whole land of Zimbabwe although they were the minority by any standards! Remember, l am still on the power of the minority card.

Enter 1980, after the so called independence the whites passed on the baton to the very minority tribe who can even be fewer than the pure whites themselves if an unbiased census is done. Unfortunately, remember we do not have such a tribe called the "Shona" maybe a race called "whitened-blacks" or "black-whites", but it is only a group of many closely identical tribes who were first combined together for convenience purposes best known to the Ndebeles and later on by the Pure Whites. This is the very group in reverse order, which is to say with the visible and invisible influence or support of certain pure whites, that repeated the same "moment of madness" as in 1890s even after 1980s in a typical mere swop of numbers 8-and-9 in the years, as when the pure whites first arrived as "settlers".

I do prefer without any permission from anyone but my conscience to liken the "Shona" group to a Jericho Wall being securely shut up because of the children of Ndebeles such that none can come in or come out. This is the Wall we thought it was fell down in 1987, but alas we were dreaming, it is being rebuilt with faster speed than of the Tower of Babel in Babylon! Some pundits are already speculating this new "Jericho Wall" will stand forever like the walls of Great Zimbabwe, if not better those years. I am watching with keen interest too because nothing lasts forever! Never mind that, my point is you might have heard in the very recent past especially from a few disgruntled or enlightened if not power hungry but "majority" tribes from inside the Jericho Wall of this group in modern day simply referred as "Shona" tribe (which is non-existent), they're talking of the Zezurisation of the country!!! I guess you were like what? But it is more complex than that, some have suggested if not exposed the fact that the incumbent is a "Zezuru" by default but is actually a ‘foreigner' whatever that means! Maybe it could mean a "whitened-black" who undoubtedly speaks the Queens language better than the pure whites themselves. Anyway, I have decided to buy this "Forex theory", or is it the "uSiphatheleni theory" in this confused case just to support my argument.

Therefore, all the leaders of this land called Zimbabwe were from the minority abeZansi such as the Khumalo like me (dual citizens of Zimbabwe and South Africa) who are or were from Nguniland (currently Kwa-Zulu Natal), the whites from Cecil John Rhodes (a tripartite citizen of Britain, South Africa and Zimbabwe) to Ian Smith (a dual citizen of Zimbabwe and Britain) and the "Zezuru" (a dual citizen of Zimbabwe and/or Malawi but a claimant of being "British"? So strange!). All these are the minority tribes or races if we are to be true to ourselves and separate issues. Since dual citizenship is illegal for a Zimbabwean, therefore the land from Zambezi to Limpopo has been ruled only by South Africans, Malawians and the British all being minority and foreigners. Watch the space, come 2018 in Zimbabwe l can tell you the "seal" will not fail itself, but will pick another minority tribe and a "foreigner" most likely a naturalised South African, Zambian or another Malawian if they play their minority cards very well. If you are none from these tribes you may as well forget it! Mark these words! Everything is gonna be alright! I thank you! #Okwakungenje Kuzolunga#O.K#(To be continued…)

Mvukela Mzilikazi-Khumalo is teacher by profession currently studying to be a Decision Scientist with Unisa and writes here in his own personal capacity. He can be contacted on mvukhumz@gmail.com!