I want to be hangman because I'm good at killing

Notice by Zimbabwe's Justice and Legal Affairs Ministry: No Vacancy for Post of Executioner. After receiving dozens of applications, the ministry has now clarified that there is no opening for the post of national executioner. Reports last week had indicated that the country had failed to recruit a hangman since 2005, a situation that has left 55 convicts languishing on death row, waiting indefinitely for their D-Day. But the Justice Ministry has said there is no opening for the job and instead blamed the cabinet for "sitting" on requests to carry out executions since last year. "I was shocked to receive applications by several nationals who wanted to be employed as hangmen," the acting Permanent Secretary in the ministry, Maxwell Ranga, said. "Some indicated they were good at killing and that they should be considered for the post, which we have not advertised."

Bolivar not murdered? He should have been!
Scientists examining the exhumed remains of South American Independence hero Simon Bolivar say they are unable to conclusively determine the cause of his death. Last year, President Hugo Chavez ordered the exhumation of Bolivar from his tomb to see if there was any evidence that he had been murdered.

Most historical accounts maintain that he died from tuberculosis in 1830. DNA samples taken from the bones and teeth of the skeleton were sent for analysis, but they found no proof that he had been deliberately poisoned. After the results were announced, Mr Chavez told parliamentarians he still believed that Simon Bolivar had been killed, even if he did not have the evidence ' yet. Bolivar is President Chavez's number 1 hero.

If we're smarter, why don't chimps get senile?
The brains of our closest primate relatives, unlike our own, do not shrink with age. The findings of a new study suggest that humans are more vulnerable than chimpanzees to age-related diseases because we live relatively longer.

Old age in humans, the results indicate, has evolved to help meet the demands of raising smarter babies. The majority of this extended life in humans is post-menopausal, while chimps are reproductively viable right up to their death. The findings suggest that grandparents' extended lives are in an evolutionary sense there to relieve mothers from being solely responsible for raising their big-brained, energetically costly infants.

Meteoric rise in price of white wine
Wine lovers can be a bit extreme, but associating the sighting of a comet with the quality of a wine seems far-fetched. Not so for private collector Christian Vanneque, who splurged a record £75,000 on a 200-year-old bottle of white wine.

Though Château d'Yquem is famed for being one of the finest and most expensive sweet white wines, the 1811 vintage has a particular attraction for wine enthusiasts. Vanneque told Reuters, "This wine is very special ' it was produced in the year of the Great Comet, which was believed to enhance the quality of the wine."

Zuma has another medicinal shower… of whisky
Spilling your drink on the president is a serious faux pas, but does it warrant an assault charge, especially if the said president does not actually get wet? A South African man has been convicted of assault by spilling his drink on President Jacob Zuma.

Racehorse owner Daryl Peense, 31, was arrested after spilling whisky on Mr Zuma at a race meeting last July in Durban.

Mr Peense said it was an accident, but the president's bodyguard insisted that it was intentional. A magistrate's court ruled that Mr Peense was guilty of assault and he will be sentenced in September.

Mr Zuma's bodyguard told the court he saw Mr Peense pour a drink from a balcony on to the president's entourage during the horseracing event. Mr Zuma did not get wet because another bodyguard protected him.

Mr Peense said he had been drunk and did not intend to harm the president.