This and that with Maluphosa: First world country with Fourth world criminology

Finally he is coming. I don't mean the Son of Man that the pagans waited for with churning tummies on the 21st of May. Of course he is a son of man also. I mean the legendary Dewani.

The courts finally ruled that he will be "deported" to South Africa to face charges of killing his wife while they were on honey moon in Cape Town. I have alluded to the drama to be expected when the man lands here - him pretending to be a total wreck to attract sympathy.

I guess he must also expect a bit of drama too, just like the Son of Man received on his triumphant entry into Jerusalem. But this time it will not be anything to do with the red-carpet or waving of olive branches.

It will not be the piercing cries of "Hail the King!" or "Hosanna kweliphezulu, Hallelujah!" No.

It will be something Dewani himself will love to hate. I passed through OR Tambo yesterday, and already there is a seemingly radical group of imbokodos, weathered ones and newly formed ones, ready to grind and pulverise him into an emotional mince.

All the tricksterism in him shall desert him. Of course one expects the modern woman not to take any nonsense from anyone but themselves.

Placards are already out; with messages of solidarity to the departed Annie, and some scathing ones for Dewani himself.

One of them is a stern warning: "Stop killing your wife now!" There are also some interesting ones which will bring some comic relieve to a very sombre atmosphere. "You killed your wife until she died, monkey," shouts another. "Annie, race in piece." "Kuku not for killing; is for eating." "We miss you Annie."

And finally, of course, "Go back to Zimbabwe, criminiminal (sic)!" There are also dance routines being practised here, like the 'disky' dance, which I think is rather misplaced.

There is something they call the 'Cut the Cake' dance, meant to teach Dewani a thing or two about bed room moves. Perhaps they feel he did not know what to do with the 'cake' once it was laid in front of him.

There will also be a petition to be signed by all present plus the Minister of Women Affairs, to the effect that since Dewani does not know what to do with women; he should be the first to receive the castration sentence on top of the death penalty! Whatever is done on him, it must be done in full view of other men already convicted for women abuse, to serve as a deterrent. All of these men should have their mischievous things handkerchiefed (hand-cuffed).

How, is anyone's guess. But Dewani might not see all these placards. Chances are that some of his accomplices are still at large and would try to rescue him. Worse still, they may try to blow away his retarded brains so he will not finger them.

This is a First world country with Fourth world criminology. Crime here has deflated even the spirits of the most- hard working police-commissioner the world over.

Secondly Dewani looks like an acute chronic drunken somnambulist – flat, flaccid and impotent. He will just walk through all this hullabaloo without even as much as a wince. Or he will be whisked away to a 'place of safety' as soon as he alights from the Qantas. Or he might not be repatriated at all, having killed himself for fear of facing the guillotine. All these and more are quite possible.

Personally, I would love to see his thin rigid neck tethered to the strongest noose possible, like what happened to one Saddam Hussein. Kodwa impilo is very unfair, really; Dewani kills one person and faces the possibility of the death sentence.

The world knows a lot of people who commit genocide on grounds of tribalism, racialism and many other obnoxious 'isms' but they are still alive and killing. And whatever happens to Dewani himself, he will not have no one to blame but his misdirected lust, avarice and bravado.

Do you remember when we used to sing 'London's Burning' at school?

Well, it happened again last week; not the singing but the burning.

The song was sort of prophetic for us who were not lucky enough to see it burn the last time around.

The English have been so absorbed in what used to be called 'gentility' – simply called refinement; that is, courteous and well-mannered behaviour. But then it could mean, as the dictionary will show, pretentiousness, that is, exaggeratedly refined, delicate, or snobbish behaviour, affected in order to create an impression of higher social status. Well, the pretentiousness part was totally exposed where it mattered most.

All the 'gentility' gave way to centuries of bottled up emotions in the most atavistic and savagery manner. At first I thought I was watching some movie. Then I thought it was news from Abuja or Harare.

Then I saw the Prime Minister, looking livid and vengeful, albeit crestfallen, like a desposed African dictator. He gave warning to the protestors, and assured them the full wrath of the law would descend on them.

One thing though that impressed me about the British is that they blamed no-one for the violent protests. I mean, we have seen such violent eruptions of late the world over. All the affected governments have been quick to blame the opposition. Others have even blamed Britain itself, and America.

They forget that you can oppress people only for as long as they can allow you to. When they decide to give you some dose of your disgusting and nauseating medicine you then think the worst of the West. Governments are said to be appointed by God, to look after his people. If you are a shepherd appointed to herd my sheep, you have no choice but to watch over all of them.

You don't have to say, "I will guard the males or females only." Or "I will look after the ones with brown heads only; the rest shall fend for themselves." you are stuck with all my sheep, regardless of your whims towards some of them.

This has been the cancer of most African governments; looking out for my tribe or my constituency only. Disgusting isn't it. And the prognosis has never been favourable to anyone.

Ngiyabonga mina!