Opinion / Columnist
Hope the British won't divert Dangote, Cdes
10 Sep 2015 at 14:00hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, you can now see that we are about to put those of our detractors, who have been suggesting that we are stranded when it comes to honouring our election promises, to shame as foreign investors are stampeding to ensure that our marvellous economic vineyard, the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation (Zim-Asset), starts delivering a bounteous harvest as we promised.
The latest foreign investor to come knocking on our door, begging for an opportunity to invest in the country, is a brother from Nigeria, the multi-billionaire, Aliko Dangote, who most of you had a privilege of meeting last week. He will be investing not less than US$1 billion, starting in the next few months.
This is in addition to the mega deals that we have already signed with our all-weather friends, the Chinese, the Russians, those from Belarus, in addition to the British, the French and to some extent the Americans who have been coming via proxies as they are feeling guilty of the way they have treated us in the past.
Our officials at the Zimbabwe Investment Authority are telling us that investors from these same western countries that conspired to impose illegal sanctions on us are nagging them day and night.
I just hope that the British will not be up to their traditional dirty tricks and try to discourage Cde Dangote from investing in the sectors he has shown keen interest in; coincidentally sectors on which our Zim-Asset is anchored, which sectors also happen to be the same that have interested the British in the past.
I can tell you the British are burning the midnight candle-light trying to strategise how they can throw spanners into this mega deal. But I can assure you that from the private discussions I had with Cde Dangote, the British have no chance at all of derailing this copper-bottomed deal.
You all know Cde Dangote is a close associate of our all-weather friend, Brother Olusegun Obasanjo, so it is a case of a mutual friend coming to do business with us, which explains why we had to exclude these deals from our no nonsense indegenisation laws. Besides, an African investor cannot be called a foreign investor in the strictest sense of the word… you all know that the law was crafted specifically to deal with investors who could be proxies of the imperialist West. Which is the same reason why we have also been sparing our Chinese and Russian friends from the harsh application of these indegenisation laws.
With all these mega deals coming to fruition, I can assure you that we can surpass the 2,2 million jobs that we promised our people.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
…AND DR CZ's NOTEBOOK
Mega deals
Of late, Zimbabweans have be-en hearing a lot about mega deals… and parochial as he has always condemned himself to be, Dr CZ's idea of mega deals started and ended with figures that have always been bandied around in our media… this and that mega deal signed with Chinese investors worth US$400 million, this and that deal signed with Russians worth US$200 million and this and that deal signed with this and that investor worth US$100 million.
So Dr CZ's idea of mega deals remained confined to those figures until last week when he followed international media reports about Russian President Vladimir Putin's visit to China to talk about several deals, including one to sell gas to China for a princely figure of - wait for it - US$400 billion! Dr CZ had to repeatedly pinch himself to re-assure himself that he was not dreaming, because this deal was not even being described as a mega deal at all!
This left Yours Truly wondering if our deals, whose composite value is less than US$1 billion are individually called mega deals, what would a single deal worth US$400 billion be called? So much about mega deals!
Dr CZ now reluctantly agrees with African traditional wisdom that says a child that does not visit other households always thinks its mother is the best cook!
Mischief!
Last week, Dr CZ's brother in patriotism, Cde Advocate Martin Dinha, was embarrassingly dragged to the courts where he is facing very serious allegations of extorting US$60 000 from a white commercial farmer. You and I know that patriots are too busy to indulge in such petty mischief that naturally give a very bad name to the party and the country, so we have all the reasons not to believe that the allegation could be having even the remotest iota of truth to it. Who does not know that, because of its magnanimous policy of reconciliation, this country is still, sadly, teeming with hundreds of unreconstructed Rhodies? It is exactly for this reason that, unlike in other cases in which suspects are arrested, prosecuted and convicted before investigations have even started, since we would be very sure that they are guilty until they prove themselves innocent, in this case, it had to be the other way round… the suspect is always innocent until he proves it.
For anyone to even think of suggesting that Cde Adv Dinha, the Zimbabwe Lawyers for Justice secretary-general who was fiercely fighting white commercial farmers who had taken their land seizure case to the now thankfully "disbanded" the Southern African Development Community Tribunal, could have been going behind everyone's back to extort money in protection fees, would be a typical case of stretching one's imagination dangerously too far.
That is the reason why Cde Adv Dinha would not be suspended from official duties until his case has died a natural death that it will certainly die… there are no fears that he can interfere with investigations because there is no prima facie case against him. In fact, such a dangerously misguided move would severely compromise national efforts to realise our Zim-Asset (encompassing the 10-point plan) goals.
Granted: Extortion is now a staple practice in Zimbabwe, but this does not apply to patriots like Dr CZ and Cde Adv Dinha.
Dr CZ is seriously considering to start a fundraising campaign under the banner of "Friends of Cde Advocate Martin Dinha Trust," which would approach the remaining white commercial farmers in Mashonaland Central and other provinces to fund Cde Adv Dinha's legal costs… Zimbabweans can be assured that the brother is so popular that in a matter of days, the trust's account would be overflowing with cash running into hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions.
Well, the temptation of opening a parallel account, similar to the one reportedly opened by some wily individuals around this year's 21st February Movement fundraising efforts - which account reportedly ended up with an amount 20 times that of the official account - is too riveting!
Upset
As the only ISO-certified patriot in this country, Dr CZ has every reason to insist that the country's brand new Constitution should retain the death penalty otherwise how can the country deal with recidivist sell-outs? Some fans have dutifully brought it to Dr CZ's important attention that there are some ungrateful Zimbos who have decided to take it to the now sadly ubiquitous social media to bastardise our cure-all economic blueprint, Zim-Asset. Some of these have been hired by the British to call it the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustained Suffering and Economic Torture, while some are calling it the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustained Suffering and Employment Termination. Just imagine!
For the first time ever, and naturally last time, Dr CZ is tempted to agree with Morgan Tsvangirai who had tried to ban members of his sell-out party from partaking in these dangerous social media platforms! We need an urgent no nonsense law banning these social media, retrospectively!
E-eh
New Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari, last week complied with that country's constitution by declaring his assets. These include US$150 000 in bank accounts, five houses and two mud homes in Daura (Katsina state), Garba Shehu stated.
Vice President Yemi Osinbajo's asset declaration exhibits he has US$900 000 in financial institution accounts, a four-bedroomed residence, a three-bedroomed flat, a two-bedroomed flat and a two-bedroomed mortgaged property in Bedford, England, the assertion stated, including that the vice chairman additionally has shareholding in six personal corporations based mostly in Lagos and three cars.
The former president (not-so) Goodluck Jonathan flatly refused to do so.
Let Dr CZ leave it there!
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
COMRADES, you can now see that we are about to put those of our detractors, who have been suggesting that we are stranded when it comes to honouring our election promises, to shame as foreign investors are stampeding to ensure that our marvellous economic vineyard, the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation (Zim-Asset), starts delivering a bounteous harvest as we promised.
The latest foreign investor to come knocking on our door, begging for an opportunity to invest in the country, is a brother from Nigeria, the multi-billionaire, Aliko Dangote, who most of you had a privilege of meeting last week. He will be investing not less than US$1 billion, starting in the next few months.
This is in addition to the mega deals that we have already signed with our all-weather friends, the Chinese, the Russians, those from Belarus, in addition to the British, the French and to some extent the Americans who have been coming via proxies as they are feeling guilty of the way they have treated us in the past.
Our officials at the Zimbabwe Investment Authority are telling us that investors from these same western countries that conspired to impose illegal sanctions on us are nagging them day and night.
I just hope that the British will not be up to their traditional dirty tricks and try to discourage Cde Dangote from investing in the sectors he has shown keen interest in; coincidentally sectors on which our Zim-Asset is anchored, which sectors also happen to be the same that have interested the British in the past.
I can tell you the British are burning the midnight candle-light trying to strategise how they can throw spanners into this mega deal. But I can assure you that from the private discussions I had with Cde Dangote, the British have no chance at all of derailing this copper-bottomed deal.
You all know Cde Dangote is a close associate of our all-weather friend, Brother Olusegun Obasanjo, so it is a case of a mutual friend coming to do business with us, which explains why we had to exclude these deals from our no nonsense indegenisation laws. Besides, an African investor cannot be called a foreign investor in the strictest sense of the word… you all know that the law was crafted specifically to deal with investors who could be proxies of the imperialist West. Which is the same reason why we have also been sparing our Chinese and Russian friends from the harsh application of these indegenisation laws.
With all these mega deals coming to fruition, I can assure you that we can surpass the 2,2 million jobs that we promised our people.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
…AND DR CZ's NOTEBOOK
Mega deals
Of late, Zimbabweans have be-en hearing a lot about mega deals… and parochial as he has always condemned himself to be, Dr CZ's idea of mega deals started and ended with figures that have always been bandied around in our media… this and that mega deal signed with Chinese investors worth US$400 million, this and that deal signed with Russians worth US$200 million and this and that deal signed with this and that investor worth US$100 million.
So Dr CZ's idea of mega deals remained confined to those figures until last week when he followed international media reports about Russian President Vladimir Putin's visit to China to talk about several deals, including one to sell gas to China for a princely figure of - wait for it - US$400 billion! Dr CZ had to repeatedly pinch himself to re-assure himself that he was not dreaming, because this deal was not even being described as a mega deal at all!
Dr CZ now reluctantly agrees with African traditional wisdom that says a child that does not visit other households always thinks its mother is the best cook!
Mischief!
Last week, Dr CZ's brother in patriotism, Cde Advocate Martin Dinha, was embarrassingly dragged to the courts where he is facing very serious allegations of extorting US$60 000 from a white commercial farmer. You and I know that patriots are too busy to indulge in such petty mischief that naturally give a very bad name to the party and the country, so we have all the reasons not to believe that the allegation could be having even the remotest iota of truth to it. Who does not know that, because of its magnanimous policy of reconciliation, this country is still, sadly, teeming with hundreds of unreconstructed Rhodies? It is exactly for this reason that, unlike in other cases in which suspects are arrested, prosecuted and convicted before investigations have even started, since we would be very sure that they are guilty until they prove themselves innocent, in this case, it had to be the other way round… the suspect is always innocent until he proves it.
For anyone to even think of suggesting that Cde Adv Dinha, the Zimbabwe Lawyers for Justice secretary-general who was fiercely fighting white commercial farmers who had taken their land seizure case to the now thankfully "disbanded" the Southern African Development Community Tribunal, could have been going behind everyone's back to extort money in protection fees, would be a typical case of stretching one's imagination dangerously too far.
That is the reason why Cde Adv Dinha would not be suspended from official duties until his case has died a natural death that it will certainly die… there are no fears that he can interfere with investigations because there is no prima facie case against him. In fact, such a dangerously misguided move would severely compromise national efforts to realise our Zim-Asset (encompassing the 10-point plan) goals.
Granted: Extortion is now a staple practice in Zimbabwe, but this does not apply to patriots like Dr CZ and Cde Adv Dinha.
Dr CZ is seriously considering to start a fundraising campaign under the banner of "Friends of Cde Advocate Martin Dinha Trust," which would approach the remaining white commercial farmers in Mashonaland Central and other provinces to fund Cde Adv Dinha's legal costs… Zimbabweans can be assured that the brother is so popular that in a matter of days, the trust's account would be overflowing with cash running into hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions.
Well, the temptation of opening a parallel account, similar to the one reportedly opened by some wily individuals around this year's 21st February Movement fundraising efforts - which account reportedly ended up with an amount 20 times that of the official account - is too riveting!
Upset
As the only ISO-certified patriot in this country, Dr CZ has every reason to insist that the country's brand new Constitution should retain the death penalty otherwise how can the country deal with recidivist sell-outs? Some fans have dutifully brought it to Dr CZ's important attention that there are some ungrateful Zimbos who have decided to take it to the now sadly ubiquitous social media to bastardise our cure-all economic blueprint, Zim-Asset. Some of these have been hired by the British to call it the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustained Suffering and Economic Torture, while some are calling it the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustained Suffering and Employment Termination. Just imagine!
For the first time ever, and naturally last time, Dr CZ is tempted to agree with Morgan Tsvangirai who had tried to ban members of his sell-out party from partaking in these dangerous social media platforms! We need an urgent no nonsense law banning these social media, retrospectively!
E-eh
New Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari, last week complied with that country's constitution by declaring his assets. These include US$150 000 in bank accounts, five houses and two mud homes in Daura (Katsina state), Garba Shehu stated.
Vice President Yemi Osinbajo's asset declaration exhibits he has US$900 000 in financial institution accounts, a four-bedroomed residence, a three-bedroomed flat, a two-bedroomed flat and a two-bedroomed mortgaged property in Bedford, England, the assertion stated, including that the vice chairman additionally has shareholding in six personal corporations based mostly in Lagos and three cars.
The former president (not-so) Goodluck Jonathan flatly refused to do so.
Let Dr CZ leave it there!
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - fingaz
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