Opinion / Columnist
Another prestigious award for me, Cdes
02 Nov 2015 at 20:16hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, I have to admit that I am beside myself with unbridled joy. I could not believe it when I received communication from Beijing that I was this year's winner of the coveted Confucius Prize - a prestigious global award that is several folds more important than the West's Nobel Peace Prize - for my consistent leadership skills.
I really feel ennobled.
As an honest, principled and God-fearing leader, I have tried my best to ensure that there is peace and justice not only in Zimbabwe, but also in the whole world and I have not been fazed by unfounded criticism levelled against my person by detractors.
This principled stance naturally drew the important attention of members of the committee that selects winners for this award who unanimously saw it befitting to award this year's prize to me. For this, I am sincerely humbled.
"Ever since Robert Mugabe was sworn in as the President of Zimbabwe in the 1980s, he has worked hard to bring political and economic order to the country and to improve the welfare of the Zimbabwean people by overcoming hardship," the prize committee said in a statement.
I wonder what Morgan and his western handlers think when they read this.
While my detractors try to portray me differently, this is what Qiao Damo, the committee's chairman, had to say: "If Zimbabwe did not have Mugabe as its President, the country would be facing great difficulty - even public security might be in danger. Every country's economy has its highs and lows. Though its economy is lagging behind, (Zimbabwe is) a very stable country (and) stability is precious in the African continent."
Qiao added that this award is also in recognition of my sincere efforts towards "injecting fresh energy" into the global quest for harmony.
He went on to categorically state that I have provided my people with a much better standard of living than citizens of Syria, Iraq or Afghanistan. "It's much better than Libya too," he added.
To win this award, I beat other global leaders such as American business tycoon, Bill Gates, and South Korea's President, Park Geun-hye.
This is quite humbling considering that lobbying only took place among the committee's 76 members without candidates being invited to justify why they deserve the award.
That shows you what the world thinks of me. The fact that Morgan's name never got anywhere near the hat shows that the real world that we live in does not even know he exists. It therefore naturally makes me feel thoroughly insulted when anyone compares me to Morgan. It is like comparing a blue whale and a flea. If anything, Morgan would be a run-away winner if there were a global award for promiscuity.
For the uninformed, the prestigious Confucius Award was set up in 2010 by the progressive world, as an alternative to the shamelessly partisan Norwegian Nobel Peace Prize.
The so-called Nobel Peace Prize is now hopelessly discredited after its committee started rewarding common criminals like Barack Obama and such dissidents as Chinese writer Liu Xiaobo. Sick and tired of a perverted world that increasingly rewarded and celebrated criminal mischief, the civilised world decided to have a new award.
I noticed some mischievous media reports to the effect that I had turned down this prestigious award… surely how could a person in his right senses do such a thing? How can I stop people who are impressed with my work from honouring me? Yes, if the award was coming from some western outfit, I was certainly going to turn it down because I would know that it is not sincere.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND DR CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Patriotic
Naturally jealous, as humanly he is, Dr CZ, notwithstanding, has no qualms at all with Bulawayo provincial administrator, Cde Khonzani Ncube - who doubled up as the chairperson of the 2014 African Union Sports Council Region 5 Under-20 Youth Games' local organising committee - being elevated to a more influential position in the government because the good sister is showing, in a practical way, that she is not just a super patriot, but a quintessential Zimbabwean too.
We are told that she recently gave the middle finger to the suppliers of the 2014 Youth Games, who are sweating to get paid. She told them in no uncertain terms that there was nothing peculiar about their continued non-payment.
"Akulandaba ukuthi abakabhadalwa, kuyamangalisa?" Cde Ncube said at a recent meeting at which the dejected suppliers raised their matter with the new Sports and Recreation Minister, Cde Makhosini Hlongwane, in Dr CZ's vernacular isiNdebele language to say: "It does not matter that they have not been paid, what is surprising about it?"
State media reports suggest that the firms are owed millions of dollars for the goods and services they provided during the December 2014 Games in Bulawayo and they have been pleading with the organising committee to pay them as some of them had been forced to close shop while others face litigation from their own suppliers.
True, in Zimbabwe it is not at all surprising when people do not get paid even for years, so MaNcube was right.
If only we could have people like her somewhere higher where they could frankly say the same thing to the pesky Bretton Woods twins - the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank - and possibly also to our Chinese lenders, we could all go to sleep soundly as a nation. Dr CZ suggests that Cde Ncube be immediately appointed senior minister of State for national debt management!
Waiting
In the meantime, we await Health Minister, Cde David Parirenyatwa, to do the most honourable thing that a person like him is expected to do… that is to resign.
We are told the chap had no scruples at all about arm-twisting the embattled Premier Service Medical Aid Society (PSMAS) to pay him in advance for services he might never render when some doctors have gone for more than three years without receiving even a cotton-picking cent from the same PSMAS. "It is called capitation where a service provider can request an insurer to pay him more than what he is owed," Parirenyatwa waffled.
"This money would then be recovered through future claims to the insurer by the service provider. It is a common norm in the medical industry."
Actually, there is a technical term for this behaviour.
The term is not capitation, but corruption.
Period!
Heat wave furore
Recently, our usually off-mark weathermen told Zimbos to prepare for a searing heat wave, which they claimed was going to pass through the country. At the weekend Dr CZ had to travel all the way to Chiredzi in search of this heat wave, but he was dejected to return empty handed. It looks like Dr CZ was not alone in his dejection, as a video doing the rounds of the social media seems to confirm this.
In the hilarious video, a journalist asks a chap who was busy installing fixed rakes in a clothing shop in Harare's Central Business District what he thought of the heat wave and the response he got was roughly something like this: "I speak on behalf of the youths who live in the dusty suburbs, in fact for everyone who lives in the ghetto, we were not happy with what happened last weekend… on this issue of the heat wave…we did not see it. These things are being done in secrecy; no one tells the truth about whom it was for and who should benefit from it. When you exclude us from such programmes like heat waves, we start thinking that you people just want to use those of us in the (ghetto).
My 'grievance' is that when things like heat waves come, they should just be distributed fairly to all the people. In our neighbourhood of Epworth, we did not see it at all… I don't know if my colleagues in Mbare and Fiyo saw it, but I can tell you that in Epworth, we did not see even a single of it. Yet we will see you people coming to us to say he-eh vote for us, he-eh do this and that for us but when it comes to things like heat waves, you do not even remember us. I want to warn you that when you choose to forget us on such programmes as heat waves, we will also not hesitate to forget you. Everyone should benefit from these things. I am told that recently there was a lunar eclipse and you did not tell anyone about it…"
If anyone ever wondered why Dr CZ was so proud to be a Zimbo, they now know. Ours is a real country and a half!
-------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
:lol:
COMRADES, I have to admit that I am beside myself with unbridled joy. I could not believe it when I received communication from Beijing that I was this year's winner of the coveted Confucius Prize - a prestigious global award that is several folds more important than the West's Nobel Peace Prize - for my consistent leadership skills.
I really feel ennobled.
As an honest, principled and God-fearing leader, I have tried my best to ensure that there is peace and justice not only in Zimbabwe, but also in the whole world and I have not been fazed by unfounded criticism levelled against my person by detractors.
This principled stance naturally drew the important attention of members of the committee that selects winners for this award who unanimously saw it befitting to award this year's prize to me. For this, I am sincerely humbled.
"Ever since Robert Mugabe was sworn in as the President of Zimbabwe in the 1980s, he has worked hard to bring political and economic order to the country and to improve the welfare of the Zimbabwean people by overcoming hardship," the prize committee said in a statement.
I wonder what Morgan and his western handlers think when they read this.
While my detractors try to portray me differently, this is what Qiao Damo, the committee's chairman, had to say: "If Zimbabwe did not have Mugabe as its President, the country would be facing great difficulty - even public security might be in danger. Every country's economy has its highs and lows. Though its economy is lagging behind, (Zimbabwe is) a very stable country (and) stability is precious in the African continent."
Qiao added that this award is also in recognition of my sincere efforts towards "injecting fresh energy" into the global quest for harmony.
He went on to categorically state that I have provided my people with a much better standard of living than citizens of Syria, Iraq or Afghanistan. "It's much better than Libya too," he added.
To win this award, I beat other global leaders such as American business tycoon, Bill Gates, and South Korea's President, Park Geun-hye.
This is quite humbling considering that lobbying only took place among the committee's 76 members without candidates being invited to justify why they deserve the award.
That shows you what the world thinks of me. The fact that Morgan's name never got anywhere near the hat shows that the real world that we live in does not even know he exists. It therefore naturally makes me feel thoroughly insulted when anyone compares me to Morgan. It is like comparing a blue whale and a flea. If anything, Morgan would be a run-away winner if there were a global award for promiscuity.
For the uninformed, the prestigious Confucius Award was set up in 2010 by the progressive world, as an alternative to the shamelessly partisan Norwegian Nobel Peace Prize.
The so-called Nobel Peace Prize is now hopelessly discredited after its committee started rewarding common criminals like Barack Obama and such dissidents as Chinese writer Liu Xiaobo. Sick and tired of a perverted world that increasingly rewarded and celebrated criminal mischief, the civilised world decided to have a new award.
I noticed some mischievous media reports to the effect that I had turned down this prestigious award… surely how could a person in his right senses do such a thing? How can I stop people who are impressed with my work from honouring me? Yes, if the award was coming from some western outfit, I was certainly going to turn it down because I would know that it is not sincere.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND DR CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Naturally jealous, as humanly he is, Dr CZ, notwithstanding, has no qualms at all with Bulawayo provincial administrator, Cde Khonzani Ncube - who doubled up as the chairperson of the 2014 African Union Sports Council Region 5 Under-20 Youth Games' local organising committee - being elevated to a more influential position in the government because the good sister is showing, in a practical way, that she is not just a super patriot, but a quintessential Zimbabwean too.
We are told that she recently gave the middle finger to the suppliers of the 2014 Youth Games, who are sweating to get paid. She told them in no uncertain terms that there was nothing peculiar about their continued non-payment.
"Akulandaba ukuthi abakabhadalwa, kuyamangalisa?" Cde Ncube said at a recent meeting at which the dejected suppliers raised their matter with the new Sports and Recreation Minister, Cde Makhosini Hlongwane, in Dr CZ's vernacular isiNdebele language to say: "It does not matter that they have not been paid, what is surprising about it?"
State media reports suggest that the firms are owed millions of dollars for the goods and services they provided during the December 2014 Games in Bulawayo and they have been pleading with the organising committee to pay them as some of them had been forced to close shop while others face litigation from their own suppliers.
True, in Zimbabwe it is not at all surprising when people do not get paid even for years, so MaNcube was right.
If only we could have people like her somewhere higher where they could frankly say the same thing to the pesky Bretton Woods twins - the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank - and possibly also to our Chinese lenders, we could all go to sleep soundly as a nation. Dr CZ suggests that Cde Ncube be immediately appointed senior minister of State for national debt management!
Waiting
In the meantime, we await Health Minister, Cde David Parirenyatwa, to do the most honourable thing that a person like him is expected to do… that is to resign.
We are told the chap had no scruples at all about arm-twisting the embattled Premier Service Medical Aid Society (PSMAS) to pay him in advance for services he might never render when some doctors have gone for more than three years without receiving even a cotton-picking cent from the same PSMAS. "It is called capitation where a service provider can request an insurer to pay him more than what he is owed," Parirenyatwa waffled.
"This money would then be recovered through future claims to the insurer by the service provider. It is a common norm in the medical industry."
Actually, there is a technical term for this behaviour.
The term is not capitation, but corruption.
Period!
Heat wave furore
Recently, our usually off-mark weathermen told Zimbos to prepare for a searing heat wave, which they claimed was going to pass through the country. At the weekend Dr CZ had to travel all the way to Chiredzi in search of this heat wave, but he was dejected to return empty handed. It looks like Dr CZ was not alone in his dejection, as a video doing the rounds of the social media seems to confirm this.
In the hilarious video, a journalist asks a chap who was busy installing fixed rakes in a clothing shop in Harare's Central Business District what he thought of the heat wave and the response he got was roughly something like this: "I speak on behalf of the youths who live in the dusty suburbs, in fact for everyone who lives in the ghetto, we were not happy with what happened last weekend… on this issue of the heat wave…we did not see it. These things are being done in secrecy; no one tells the truth about whom it was for and who should benefit from it. When you exclude us from such programmes like heat waves, we start thinking that you people just want to use those of us in the (ghetto).
My 'grievance' is that when things like heat waves come, they should just be distributed fairly to all the people. In our neighbourhood of Epworth, we did not see it at all… I don't know if my colleagues in Mbare and Fiyo saw it, but I can tell you that in Epworth, we did not see even a single of it. Yet we will see you people coming to us to say he-eh vote for us, he-eh do this and that for us but when it comes to things like heat waves, you do not even remember us. I want to warn you that when you choose to forget us on such programmes as heat waves, we will also not hesitate to forget you. Everyone should benefit from these things. I am told that recently there was a lunar eclipse and you did not tell anyone about it…"
If anyone ever wondered why Dr CZ was so proud to be a Zimbo, they now know. Ours is a real country and a half!
-------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
:lol:
Source - fingaz
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