Chat with Sis Noe: Worried, my sex drive is over the top!

Hi Sis Noe
I JUST found out I am two months pregnant. I want to know whether it is ok to run while I am pregnant. — Worried.

Reply
Yes, you can run but not too much. In fact, you should visit your doctor to find out how and when you should run.

Physical activities during pregnancy help to increase endurance, muscle strength, blood flow, and energy levels. It also helps to soothe and prevent back pain and cramping and helps to deliver oxygen to the foetus. For these reasons, medical professionals usually advise those who are healthy and not experiencing a complicated pregnancy to engage in at least 150 minutes of physical activity every week.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend wants us to have anal sex. Is it painful? Won't it jeopardise my health? —Worried.

Reply
Anal sex has become more common in heterosexual relationships, partly because people have watched porn in which this activity so frequently occurs. In porn it is presented as something that is both routine and painless for women. In real life, this is not the case. Anal intercourse is often very painful for women, particularly the first few times. Contrary to what you probably heard, anal sex does not loosen the anus or cause an inability to control bowel movements. However, there can be risks associated with anal sex other than sexually transmitted infections, so it's important to take steps to minimise these risks. Friction, the enemy of pleasure and safety during sex, is produced during anal sex, much as it is during vaginal sex. However, friction may be more of an issue during anal sex because the lining of the anus is more delicate and produces less natural lubricant than the vagina. So if you are going to do it, use lots of lubrication and your man should wear a condom.

Your man should not move from your anus to your vagina using the same condom and you must stop him if the pain is unbearable. Anal sex may make a person more susceptible to bacterial infection around the anus and rectum. This is because the lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it is more susceptible to tears. If the anus or rectum does get torn, it does not heal as quickly. Because faeces that pass through the rectum contain bacteria, any tear in the lining is at risk of getting infected. Lining tears may lead to other problems such as an anal abscess, which can make transmission of STIs and HIV more likely. This is why unprotected anal sex is often considered riskier than unprotected oral or vaginal sex.

The tips above will help you avoid tears and other uncomfortable complications.

Hi Sis Noe
I'm a 25-year-old woman and I am always horny. I always want sex even if I have it five times in one day. I masturbate everyday and I can't stop touching myself. It's been about a year now since my sex drive has increased. I can't stop thinking about sex. — Help.

Reply
It is quite natural for some people to have a relatively strong sex drive. Sometimes, you have increased sex drive because of hormonal and physical changes. You may even feel sexually excited when you are in a new relationship.

There are instances, however, when increased sex drive indicates a psychological and even a physical problem. That is when it starts interfering with your daily life. Five times a day is a bit too much. Maybe you have bipolar disorder, it is characterised by extreme changes in your mood — from the lows of depression to the highs of mania. Hyper sexuality is often a symptom of bipolar disorder. This mental illness is treatable. Your overactive sex drive could be due to dementia. Research shows that people with dementia may exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviours, such as masturbating, using obscenities or exposing themselves. It affects both men and women and is usually common in people with severe dementia. Maybe it's persistent genital arousal disorder — women with this condition are always in a state of arousal and do not find relief even after having an orgasm. The feeling may last from days to weeks.

Several treatment options are now available, including hormonal therapy, antidepressants, behaviour therapy and anaesthetising gels. There are also other diseases such as rabies that cause an abnormal sex drive, I can't list them all.

In a nutshell, your sex drive has interfered with your daily life, you need to talk to your doctor and figure out if you have any medical problem. Your doctor can usually identify the underlying cause of your high sex drive.

Hi Sis Noe
I don't know what is wrong with me but since I started having sex I have never had an orgasm. I am a healthy woman aged 30. What is wrong with me? — Worried.

Reply
There are many reasons why many women fail to have an orgasm but I have discovered that in most cases women fail to have an orgasm because they put too much pressure on themselves. If you are lying there nervous or tired or feeling uncomfortable about how much time has passed with you still not having had an orgasm, you are creating a vicious cycle of no orgasms. The pressure to have an orgasm can result in everyone being stressed out and not climaxing. Not ideal. Try not to think about it and just enjoy the sensations instead. You will come when you least expect it. It might also be the medication you are using. Medications can diminish sex hormones in the body, and often lead to having crappy orgasms or no orgasms at all.

So if the sex is actually good and it's just not happening for you that could be why. Talk to your doctor and see if there is another medication with fewer sexual side effects that you could be taking. It might be that your man doesn't know what he is doing. Lasting 30 minutes to an hour does not make your man a good lover. For most women, orgasm does not come from penetration alone. Tell your man to stop his jackhammer method. He should stimulate your clitoris with his hand or his tongue. Adequate foreplay leads to an orgasm. The problem could be you. Maybe you have no idea what works for you. You need to figure out what turns you on.

You are getting turned on but not enough, the problem could be lack of enough lubrication. About 40 percent of women do not produce enough lubrication during sex. Even if your vagina gets wet, sometimes the chemistry of condoms, hormones, and emotions can throw that off and leave you dry. Just adding lubricant is an easy way to make you feel more comfortable and orgasm-ready. Lastly the problem may be medical — it is possible to have things like clitoral entrapment, which is when the clitoris literally gets trapped under the clitoral hood skin, making it less sensitive. If you are having significant trouble having an orgasm, go to a gynaecologist to make sure nothing like that is going on.

Hi Sis Noe
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Reply
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