Pssst! Where does one get the nerve to approach a girl?

Hi

I'm a 23-year-old guy who was brought up by a single mother, and with little or no contact with my uncles.

I have noticed that I have a problem dealing with girls. I can't make a move on a girl, and that really bothers me.

The few chances I have had have ended up blowing in my face, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Also, Aunt, when a woman tells you that she has prayed to God about your proposal and been shown that you are not the right man for her, should you take that seriously?

I mean, is that for real? Or is she just using the name of God to tell you off?

Thank you,


Thulani.
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Hi Thulani,

As far as I know, there is not particular formula to seduce a girl, and I think what is key is what happens prior to the proposal.

Here's how to go about it: Fix your eyes on the important things that make a marriage. What do you want in a relationship. Is it friendship? Respect? Love? Care? Integrity?

Then, after establishing what you want in a relationship, begin to practise those things in your life.

Remember that you are an important partner in the character and life of your future marriage life, and it is these things that make you stand out from other guys.

While at it, keep in mind that women also look for certain qualities in men. However, this should not force you to go out there looking for qualities that you do not believe in, or virtues that have never been a part of your life.

Finally, respect is a great quality in marriage. Learning to respect people's choices and preferences helps you know what you will tolerate and what will drive you crazy.

As a result, if this girl thinks that her convictions don't lead her to you, respect that. I have seen some people who could not see eye-to-eye but respected each other's choices later blend together towards marriage.

Such people will tell you that it was the mutual respect that made them turn around and reconsider their decisions.

Also, Thulani, marriage is scary for some girls. For others, time is necessary to process the implications and, to these, it is okay to seek divine guidance. And that's fine.

Hang on man. Keep searching, and all the best!