God made no concubine for Adam

A story published by some local news media recently and now so hot on the lips of gossips that no fly dares alight on them, has triggered consternation in the realm of holy matrimony with some worried women talking vaguely about the need for a Married Wives' Brigade as a watchdog body to rein in concubines and stabilise marriages now under threat.

The story in point is about a Bill being drafted under the auspices of a hitherto little-known legal aid outfit for presentation to Parliament in a bid to equalise the rights of housewives with those of secondary or hand-on wives euphemistically known in this country as smallhouses.

Women familiar with the Bible know that when in the garden of Eden God created Eve, the prototype of today's women, He did not go the extra mile, as it were, by creating a concubine as another helper for the first man on earth.

When a man and a woman are bound together in holy matrimony on earth the couple is also bound together in Heaven or so one understands the Bible as saying. Which suggests that a relationship between a married man and a concubine or so-called smallhouse is biblically not bound and sanctified in Heaven but is bound by the devil who fights God at every turn, using human beings to defy their Creator's holy decrees.

Should the contentious Bill now in the making sail through Parliament to become law, it will reportedly empower the smallhouse to share the married woman's family assets at the death of their husband.

If, say, the man and his family owned two cars, or two houses these will be shared equally between the small house and the legitimate wife, in addition to the late husband's bank account, or so the impression one gets from the grapevine suggests so.

A happily married young woman with a young family in Bulawayo feared that the Bill in question would cause instability, or even destroy families if it legalises the rights of concubines with those of happily married women.

One married woman who requested anonymity said if the Bill confirmed married women's worst fears, many young Zimbabwean women might leave the country to seek marriage in lands where they will not be compelled legally to share their husband should Zimbabweans "run wildly with the rights issue by making marriage a ball game for concubines and women in a legal marriage bond".

There are altogether 210 members in the upper and lower houses of the Parliament of Zimbabwe – the Senate and House of Assembly and only 26 are women.

What this means is that, because of their measly numerical strength, the women will not be able to carry the day either way in the debate on the Bill now said to be in the works to put smallhouses on an equal marital status with lawfully wedded wives.

But to cap the discourse above, an irate born again housewife said that extending legal conjugal rights to concubines anywhere in the world might result in single women targeting rich men and brazenly propositioning them.

As a result, loose husbands will have field days cavorting with unmarried women and the up short of the immoral binges will lead to breakdowns in marriages as gallivanting husbands starve their spouses by rationing prime time with them in the conjugal bedroom.