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Cohabitation - Umasihlalisane: Part 2

by Antizah
03 Mar 2012 at 23:34hrs | Views
Siqhubeka bakwethu ngayo lendaba esiyiqale kuviki eliphelileyo.

Bengithanda ukuba namhlanje sithi ukubheka ama-advantages lama disadvantages okuhlalisana.

Most common reasons why people do it. On my own observation, maybe she got pregnant and can not look after herself anymore, people who are in the diaspora mostly want to save money and share the bills, sharing the responsibility of kids so both parties can be able to go to work, it can be a reason of, lets get to know each other before we get married, or just the idea of knowing that there is no strings attached, no contract. Uzwe kuthiwa, well we will try it and see..... if kunga sebenzanga we can always move out but the truth be told once you move in, it becomes hard to move out in most cases.

With the above reason of moving in together, it mighty work in the beginning but for how long?

Lets look at the advantages here, beside sharing the bills and getting to know the person better before you marry him or her and so to finding out if you are prepared to live with that character for the rest of your life or not.

lt's more advantageous to man than women this is my take, ngoba usethole umfazi for free and usethole lelo khekhe.The idea akusatshadwa honest that makes man happy than women.

On the other hand there are more disadvantages than advantages ...kuyalulaza ikakhulu if lowo muntu lingasatshadanga, kuyehlisa isithunzi kuwe mama ngoba really uyini kuye beside I live in partner and fear of that yikuthi uhlala uphethe amathumbu ngesandla ngoba ungazi ukuba uhamba nini. Kuyalulaza wena kuwe ngoba bakhona abesilisa abathi umuntu ehleli lomunye endlini asuke lapho ayotshada omunye umuntu ngaphandle.

The moral of it is all wrong in the first place why sihlala sonke when you can do the right thing and why ululaza your family ngakho.

The other thing is waste of time for both parties, if the relationship is not going to work and alitshayisani and if you are looking for a long term relationship.

The is no security on the base of commitment as that is what we women are looking for in a relationship.

What about when you find someone else you love or who loves you, it becomes hard to leave that relationship you tend to have more excuses than looking at the real thing, and you feel so bound to this wrong relationship.

Mostly disadvantages is that when a man gets used to a situation, it gets hard for them to change from it and above all uzwa kuthiwa sekutheni why spoil it all, and come to think about it why buy when you can get it for free.

It does give room to cheat ngoba usithi you are not committed to that person and you are more free than that married one.

What happens when you get ill or he gets ill whom do you report to and how do you report someone whom you are legally not married to?

The security am talking about lapha ukuba when he dies babuya bekuxotsha or bethatha yonke into ngoba lingatshadanga and you are left with nothing too.

Now what does that do to our kids?

Personally ngithi kuSetter iExample embi ebantwaneni and esikhathini umuntu uvele angabanaki abantwana futhi. You are the first role model towards your kids so set a good one.

Biblical kuthiwa cohabitation is a form of adultery. Kanti kwakhona esintwini sethu kunzima ukuba umuntu ahlale lengane yabantu kungaziwa ngoba ungumuntu uzibizela imikhokha ngento engekho.

I think we do it for the fear of resposibilities ngoba uyazi ukuba you are not married so you will not be forced to do certain things. So this is a easy ticket for man.

Women please make sure ukuba liyafundisisa ngemithetho yalapho okhona mayelana ngokuhlalisa ungaze wazibona ususele ubambe nothing. Above all this is an individual choice here its just to make you aware and think about it and as a women, stand up and be proud of who you are, never depend on him ngoba it might look okay but after the long run,really its never a good thing.

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Source - Antizah
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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