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Opinion / Women's Corner

Ladies who can stand up and say nagging has helped them in life?

by Antizah | Nhlalwenhle Ncube
27 Oct 2011 at 16:30hrs | Views
Believe me, men hate women who nag a lot and by doing so you might push your loved one into another woman's arms.

Though most women believe that nagging helps them get what they want all the times, on the other hand, remember that it kills your bedroom life as your hubby will finds you boring and might even label you 'a cry baby'.

l have heard men complaining of the way their loved ones behave saying ...she is so nagging, always on my case... and on other hand, she asks a lot of things within a short period of time. They have revealed that you find someone asking for a single thing million times and in different ways that it gets to their nerves. Do we really have to behave that way ladies?

What is nagging and how do you know that you have reached that point of nagging. Ladies lets discuss about this issue, is it just lack of communication between two lovebirds? Many times women use nagging as a tool of getting what they want and ordering their loved ones to follow the rules they would have set up.

You know nagging has destroyed many relationships and sisters lets stop this boring behaviour because tomorrow you will cry saying you have been bewitched while in fact you are responsible for the mess.
Anytime you find yourself telling somebody continuously about something or forcing one to hear and understand what you are saying then yes "you are nagging" the following is some of the things that you ought to be aware of.

You are always complaining and never satisfied with what the other party has done and you criticize everything they do. Nothing will be done to your standards and very particular with what is said to you taking every word with suspicion.

Coaxing, you never take no for anything and you will play the game of guilt on someone to do it for you. The other thing is that you always doubt other people's efforts and never give others the opportunity to make their own mistakes.

Ladies...One thing that man don't like is being nagged and Nagging is just being disrespectful to the one you love. Even though your gripes may be valid, it makes the other person to be resentful, ineffective and inadequate.

Ladies it's not that things have to be always done our way or how we want them to be done. At the same time am not saying you have to compromise all the time, but the point is on how you communicate with him. Sometimes we are not aware that we have reached the nagging stage. Remember, a man has his own needs and was brought up in a certain way different from yours.
Be warned that when you start nagging, he will find it better to stay away from you. Do not be surprised when he starts coming home late because he knows the first thing you will do is asking whether such and such have been done.

The manner of approach is also important in any relationship. l went out and asked four male friends of mine...At what point they feel that they are now being nagged. The answer to that was....when ever you come home and she starts to say good afternoon and the next question is did you do such and such... that is the time they feel nagged and to them is why bother.

l asked again, if they don't want to be reminded and the answer given was to learn to give us time to breath if you told me yesterday then trust me l will do it, yes not as soon as you want it done but be assured it will be done.

We women tend to loose the patience and we are species that think of a thing and immediately jump to do it but guess what ladies, man are not like that!

He leaves his clothes on the floor in the bathroom and shouting him won't help, but instead pick them up and go to him and say, honey I will appreciate if you pick up your clothes on the floor next time and trust me you can say this statement many times and sound like he hears nothing but one day it will reach home.

There are certain words to avid when communicating with him, like "could you or can you" instead try words like "would you" or "will you"

There is nothing that irritates man than to be lectured. When you want to tell him the wrong please don't lecture to him, but be brief to the point and say it once and leave it to him to think about it.
Communication is the best tool in a relationship.

Another form of nagging is by reminding him what he did last time when he already apologized, but maybe that sorry was never believed and you now find yourself bringing back the ghost from the past months.

Never make him feel small and stupid, men want to remain leaders and in control. Once you demean and crush their ego, trust me you would not like the result of that!

Nagging never works as it makes the other party feel small, unappreciated and unwanted!

Nagging can lessen a couple's intimacy so stop it and act responsibly!
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