Latest News Editor's Choice


Abusive relationships - Live Discussion

by Moyo Roy
24 Feb 2013 at 08:05hrs | Views

Hi guys our discussion today is on abusive relationships: Just recent  a 22-year-old Nigerian student was killed by her abusive boyfriend. Accord to the story her friends knew she was in an abusive relationship.

How can you help someone if you know they are being abused?

What do you do if your friend tells you that their boyfriend or girlfriend, hubby or wife is abusive?

Remember abuse comes in many ways!

  • Admin

    25 Feb 2013 at 13:57hrs

    Thank you all for taking part in this discussion. This Live Update has been closed but you can still comment at the bottom.

  • Pepsi

    25 Feb 2013 at 13:34hrs

    Man will remain mans and Woman a woman,the problem between the two is normal fight for positions,umbango wezikhundla,two disrespecting between the two,phela inkunzi ezimbili kazihlali esibayeni esisodwa,you can not keep two bulls in one crawl,so in order to deal with this we must understand the concept of abuse,the two start as lover birds and later became enemies (why) because one has gone out of alignment riding on someone,s lane then the battle commences there,however,woman's must keep on attracting his man till to death that's commitment of vows and mans follow the fragments of your woman like you did first date!and carry on maintaining your relation especially woman's they are the leaders in relation never relax,then when you start to peak abuse on relation leave immediately something went wrong in your steering as a relation driver

  • T Phiri

    25 Feb 2013 at 08:45hrs

    my girlfriend is always extra nice to me if she knows that i have money but if she is has money and im broke. anything can lead to a fight. I have never hit her but i can see myself doing it 1day she pushes me to do that

  • Kudakwashe Murima

    25 Feb 2013 at 08:38hrs

    Firstly, we need to establish the kind of relationship, marriage or dating. If its marriage, understand that God hates divorce but if abuse continues seek help from marriage counselors or pastors, God can heal the marriage. If its a date, pull out and don’t go back. If you think it will stop when married, it wont. Relationships not found on God’s word don’t last, but it does'nt mean that they won’t face challenges, they will be there to strengthen them and make us turn to God for solution.

  • Mubhurandaya

    24 Feb 2013 at 17:42hrs

    its so difficult to advise someone in an abusive relationship,it all depends with the economic situation of that couple.if the abused partner is not economically independent its not easy to win that war.Money has a lot of bearing in abusive relationships,some simply do not want to let go because the society will laugh at them you can imagine from driving a merc to kombis!! some pple would rather die than slide down the social ladder.Its so sad

  • Moyo Roy

    24 Feb 2013 at 17:18hrs

    @Sotsha why do men end up being abusive instead of leaving then?

  • anonymous

    24 Feb 2013 at 17:17hrs

    Trust is the most crucial issue in any relationship.

  • sotsha mafu

    24 Feb 2013 at 15:58hrs

    Aboveall abafazi abahle bazinkinga(most cute women r not meant 4 marriage)sometyms ladies creat a none abusive man 2 abuse coz of financial staters,also women demand equal rights in bedroom where as they 4 get the leader of this house,plz women hv 2 given their position in household nd man deserve 2 b given their position!man r not lunatics 2 beat women coz uyakhathala ngomfazi,women shame ngiliphakamisela ihand,just follow instructions,women like 2 experiment through man!i wish God didnt creat women,Adam was ok alone!they started 2 gv problems in the Garden then hw can we win then coz God lost hope on them nd punished them severly,they disturbed his image not his rib,God made man through mud not this rib!

  • Mza

    24 Feb 2013 at 15:11hrs

    Sorry to e Nigerian lady who got killed,the main reason why man abuse woman is bcoz most woman do cheat,a woman is a very complicated animal on earth u will neva understand,eg look at big guns stories like Simon Khaya Moyo,Chombo etc,they abused their wives coz they were cheating leading to dirvoce

  • Nkoni K

    24 Feb 2013 at 14:32hrs

    Abusers will never change the best way to deal with this is to leave the person and tell the police you dont want that person anywhere near you

  • owen

    24 Feb 2013 at 14:26hrs

    Just come out of it one time



  • zalaz

    24 Feb 2013 at 14:04hrs

    the one being abused must just report to police if there is evidence, if being threatened she/he must also tell the police everything so that her/his safety is guaranteed. SPEAK OUT PLEASE, if you keep quiet then thats your why silence?you die eventually.

  • Wendy

    24 Feb 2013 at 14:00hrs

    The problem is that people in abusive relationships have a weakness of going back to their abusive partners even if u try to help them out of the situation.They always hold on and hope for change which in most cases doesnt come instead tragedy befalls them.People have a tendancy of pretending all is well to give people a wrong picture thus why at times some people cant be helped.

  • Anonymous user

    24 Feb 2013 at 13:47hrs

    what happens if the abuser threatens to kill you if you tell anyone?

  • Muzvare Betty Makoni

    24 Feb 2013 at 13:45hrs

    If you sense someone is being abused make sure you alert those closest to them. When someone is at victim stage their power to think and act is limited.This is the time to hold their hand and give strength. Like what we read on Nigerian girl, there was a chance to save her life The silence by those close to her shows that there is a lot of work to be done on the whole society.Our men were brought up the wrong way.we taught boys what manhood is not. young men emulate their fathers.

  • Moyo Roy

    24 Feb 2013 at 13:35hrs

    Lets Discuss!