Opinion / Columnist
I never said Pasi neZanu-PF, Cdes
18 Dec 2014 at 09:36hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members
COMRADES, as you are all aware, I am away on my annual vacation. I badly needed this life-enhancing break, especially after recent events that saw some long-serving members of the party and government dismissing themselves. Like I pointed out last week, who am I to stop people from exercising their democratic right, even if that right involves booting themselves from either the party or the government, and in some cases from both?
Barely a week has passed and some of us are already forgetting those people out of existence. Nhamo yemumwe hairambirwe sadza, life cannot stop because someone has gotten themselves into trouble. I could not help it but suffer a paroxysm of tearful laughter when it was brought to my attention that Cde Didymus is embarking on a regional crusade to try and reverse the decision that the people made both in the run-up to, and during, our party's just-ended 6th National People's Congress. He is trying to get the Southern African Development Community (which I am proud chair, remember), President Jacob Zuma and everyone else involved simply because the people have decided they cannot stand him one more day.
I have often heard that the difference between stupidity and wisdom is that the former knows no limit. I cannot agree further! If I did not know him closely, I was going to think that he was misquoted, but I know this is not the case. The fellow is just a pitifully worse dimwit than even Morgan. The dwarf-in-giant-robes description was straight to the point.
Anyway, whatever he might have said, I would truly want to believe that he never tried to cast aspersions at my leadership qualities!
It has just been brought to my attention that some of the speeches I gave to party members in the recent past could have been distorted. I am told that when I was wrapping up my address at our recent congress I chanted a slogan 'pasi neZanu PF!' I am also told that when I was addressing members of the security forces just before the congress started, I reportedly said that in the harmonised elections of March 2008 Morgan won the elections by 73 percent. If this is indeed what you Cdes heard, then I have every reason to be worried. I think our detractors could be using some latest technological developments to tamper with my otherwise powerful speeches when I am delivering them in an effort to cause confusion in both the party and government.
Even if you can imagine it yourselves. Surely, how can I say something like pasi neZanu-PF? Not me! Never, ever!
I think this voice morphing technique that this sell-out Rugare fellow was talking about recently could have been used in these two incidences. Remember this is the same fellow who created Baba Jukwa and all other mischief, and with their handlers in the West, you never really know what they could be up to. We have to upgrade our skills in the area of ICT.
Let me wrap up by welcoming those members who are new in both the Politburo and the Cabinet. For as long as you choose to be faithful and hardworking members of the party, this will be your home, but if you choose something different, the dust bins could be waiting for you!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
….And now CZ's Notebook
Ha ha ha-ah!
"We refuse to be chucked out of Zanu-PF, which some of us have been in for 57 years," dismissed former Zanu-PF secretary for administration, Didymus Mutasa was quoted in South Africa's Independent on Saturday newspaper. "We fought for 'one man, one vote' majority rule, which is not provided for in the current Zanu-PF constitution adopted at the 6th congress," Cde Mutasa said.
"It gives all votes to the President alone and violates the supreme law of the country. It is therefore null and void, all that transpired at the 6th congress. We call on Zanu-PF to work as it was before the 6th congress, which was itself unlawful.
"We appeal to SADC to adopt our position. We also appeal to Zimbabweans to remain peaceful as we strive for the democracy that we fought for," Cde Mutasa continued bel canto.
Didymus Mutasa, of all hard-hearted people in this big and wide world, is suddenly striving for democracy in Zimbabwe! Things really change. In fact, miracles still happen, Dr CZ now has every reason to be a believer! Those who thought Morgan Tsvangirai was mad when he was embarking on regional and international campaigns to break the political logjam that always developed at home, should tell us what this move by Mutasa should be called!
Still on quotable quotes, while we are pretending to be saddened by the way in which Cde Didymus Mutasa & Co were thankfully upstaged from party and government sinecures that they had grown to accept as their God-given right, we cannot help but remember the following statement by a randy Mutasa: "Mbizi nenyati dzinofura pamwe chete, asi mbizi ikaramba kufura pamwe chete nenyati, nyati inotunga mbizi. (A zebra and a buffalo can graze together, but if the zebra refuses to graze with the buffalo, the buffalo will gore the zebra.)"
The then all-powerful Mutasa made the threatening statement while demanding sexual favours from the Manicaland vice provincial chairperson, Cde Dorothy Mabika. Apparently, Mutasa's totem is the buffalo while Mabika's is a zebra. We were told that after Mabika had had the gall of spurning Mutasa's sexual demands, she was accused of stealing cattle donated to the party by well-wishing white commercial farmers. Cde Mabika should certainly be one of those people who are rejoicing over Mutasa's fall from grace to grass.
Crazy!
Now read this: "Spirit Embassy leader Prophet Eubert Angel has been taken to the High Court for allegedly swindling a church member of his top-of-the-range Bentley Continental vehicle worth $300 000. "Businessman Mr Ndabazinengi Shava argued that Prophet Angel duped him into surrendering the vehicle to him on the understanding that he would reap three-fold, but nothing happened.
"One year down the line, Mr Shava now feels cheated and is now demanding his vehicle back…" Many people were laughing themselves sick after reading this. But this is nothing new in Zimbabwe. Remember that our Cabinet was once duped by a grade three drop-out into believing that diesel could come from a rock at Maninga Hills near Chinhoyi, and a high-powered ministerial taskforce was set-up especially to handle this "blessing"?
Stupidity rules because there is a huge market for it. The magnet of hope is a powerful one. And those who wield it are usually secretive. Evangelical churches are nothing new … the poor get rich, the ill get healthy, the dying get life afresh and the lonely find true and undying love. In the rush of holy euphoria, the devoted eat grass out in the garden. The singles queue with their underwear off so that "Men Of God" can bless their bottoms with holy kisses. Good for them!
Dr CZ is sorry to say the following, but it is better off said. As St Jerome of Jerusalem once said: If truth cause an offence, it is better that an offence be caused than that the truth be denied. Hubbard, the founder of Scientology said: "If you want to become rich, START A CHURCH". There is certainly no business that is as lucrative as the afterlife-insurance business.
Now show good cause why Dr CZ should not unleash his own church, CZ Ministries International Plc, in 2015?
Quotables!
The year of our Good Lord 2014 was quite fruitful when it comes to quotable quotes. Lots of them! Below are just a selected few:
"They have taken their route to oblivion. It's like they are now aboard MH370 (the Malaysian plane that mysteriously disappeared months ago)," Japhet Moyo ZCTU secretary general on Tendai Biti and Elton Mangoma's decision to form a party.
"It's very strange that the EU has not extended an invitation to the First Lady. What God has put together the EU is trying to separate. Do they expect the President to respect the EU and disrespect his own marriage?" Presidential spokesman George Charamba on the EU's decision to First Lady Grace Mugabe visa.
Jonathan Moyo on looters: "To say you abuse funds and you are caught with hands in the till, (if) it is published and say it's destroying the image of the party, that's corruption. You will not go down with that political party; it's you and you alone; carry your cross alone. It's not in the constitution of the party; it's against party policy. You are stealing alone and if people keep quiet, the media will say you were stealing for the party."
Jabulani Sibanda on "bedroom coup": "If you want to find me guilty of not attending the First Lady's rallies, I plead guilty on that one and I won't attend unless the programme changes. I can't attend a function where they say 'Pamberi ne Mazoe Crush, pasi neGamatox'. That slogan is unknown in Zanu-PF. "That slogan is divisive and counter-revolutionary. I don't belong to a venomous group and until their objectives change, I won't be part of that. With its nature now, it's counter-revolutionary and Zimbabweans should stand up against that. All able-bodied people should stand up against that. You can't belong to a group that insults a Vice-President of the country. You can't insult a person like that even if you are from different political parties, but you can encounter on policies. We will back what we will say at that Press conference with what we are doing on the ground. I won't tell you where I am, but I am on the ground. I am not going to allow any coup both in the boardroom and in the bedroom."
Zanu-PF deputy secretary for youth affairs Kudzai Chipanga on Joice Mujuru & Co being persona non grata at the party's just-ended congress: "We want to thank them for participating in congress preparations but they are not welcome. Just like cows, they help in the fields but when it comes to enjoying the yields they are not welcome."
--------------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Politburo members
COMRADES, as you are all aware, I am away on my annual vacation. I badly needed this life-enhancing break, especially after recent events that saw some long-serving members of the party and government dismissing themselves. Like I pointed out last week, who am I to stop people from exercising their democratic right, even if that right involves booting themselves from either the party or the government, and in some cases from both?
Barely a week has passed and some of us are already forgetting those people out of existence. Nhamo yemumwe hairambirwe sadza, life cannot stop because someone has gotten themselves into trouble. I could not help it but suffer a paroxysm of tearful laughter when it was brought to my attention that Cde Didymus is embarking on a regional crusade to try and reverse the decision that the people made both in the run-up to, and during, our party's just-ended 6th National People's Congress. He is trying to get the Southern African Development Community (which I am proud chair, remember), President Jacob Zuma and everyone else involved simply because the people have decided they cannot stand him one more day.
I have often heard that the difference between stupidity and wisdom is that the former knows no limit. I cannot agree further! If I did not know him closely, I was going to think that he was misquoted, but I know this is not the case. The fellow is just a pitifully worse dimwit than even Morgan. The dwarf-in-giant-robes description was straight to the point.
Anyway, whatever he might have said, I would truly want to believe that he never tried to cast aspersions at my leadership qualities!
It has just been brought to my attention that some of the speeches I gave to party members in the recent past could have been distorted. I am told that when I was wrapping up my address at our recent congress I chanted a slogan 'pasi neZanu PF!' I am also told that when I was addressing members of the security forces just before the congress started, I reportedly said that in the harmonised elections of March 2008 Morgan won the elections by 73 percent. If this is indeed what you Cdes heard, then I have every reason to be worried. I think our detractors could be using some latest technological developments to tamper with my otherwise powerful speeches when I am delivering them in an effort to cause confusion in both the party and government.
Even if you can imagine it yourselves. Surely, how can I say something like pasi neZanu-PF? Not me! Never, ever!
I think this voice morphing technique that this sell-out Rugare fellow was talking about recently could have been used in these two incidences. Remember this is the same fellow who created Baba Jukwa and all other mischief, and with their handlers in the West, you never really know what they could be up to. We have to upgrade our skills in the area of ICT.
Let me wrap up by welcoming those members who are new in both the Politburo and the Cabinet. For as long as you choose to be faithful and hardworking members of the party, this will be your home, but if you choose something different, the dust bins could be waiting for you!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
….And now CZ's Notebook
Ha ha ha-ah!
"We refuse to be chucked out of Zanu-PF, which some of us have been in for 57 years," dismissed former Zanu-PF secretary for administration, Didymus Mutasa was quoted in South Africa's Independent on Saturday newspaper. "We fought for 'one man, one vote' majority rule, which is not provided for in the current Zanu-PF constitution adopted at the 6th congress," Cde Mutasa said.
"It gives all votes to the President alone and violates the supreme law of the country. It is therefore null and void, all that transpired at the 6th congress. We call on Zanu-PF to work as it was before the 6th congress, which was itself unlawful.
"We appeal to SADC to adopt our position. We also appeal to Zimbabweans to remain peaceful as we strive for the democracy that we fought for," Cde Mutasa continued bel canto.
Didymus Mutasa, of all hard-hearted people in this big and wide world, is suddenly striving for democracy in Zimbabwe! Things really change. In fact, miracles still happen, Dr CZ now has every reason to be a believer! Those who thought Morgan Tsvangirai was mad when he was embarking on regional and international campaigns to break the political logjam that always developed at home, should tell us what this move by Mutasa should be called!
Still on quotable quotes, while we are pretending to be saddened by the way in which Cde Didymus Mutasa & Co were thankfully upstaged from party and government sinecures that they had grown to accept as their God-given right, we cannot help but remember the following statement by a randy Mutasa: "Mbizi nenyati dzinofura pamwe chete, asi mbizi ikaramba kufura pamwe chete nenyati, nyati inotunga mbizi. (A zebra and a buffalo can graze together, but if the zebra refuses to graze with the buffalo, the buffalo will gore the zebra.)"
The then all-powerful Mutasa made the threatening statement while demanding sexual favours from the Manicaland vice provincial chairperson, Cde Dorothy Mabika. Apparently, Mutasa's totem is the buffalo while Mabika's is a zebra. We were told that after Mabika had had the gall of spurning Mutasa's sexual demands, she was accused of stealing cattle donated to the party by well-wishing white commercial farmers. Cde Mabika should certainly be one of those people who are rejoicing over Mutasa's fall from grace to grass.
Crazy!
Now read this: "Spirit Embassy leader Prophet Eubert Angel has been taken to the High Court for allegedly swindling a church member of his top-of-the-range Bentley Continental vehicle worth $300 000. "Businessman Mr Ndabazinengi Shava argued that Prophet Angel duped him into surrendering the vehicle to him on the understanding that he would reap three-fold, but nothing happened.
"One year down the line, Mr Shava now feels cheated and is now demanding his vehicle back…" Many people were laughing themselves sick after reading this. But this is nothing new in Zimbabwe. Remember that our Cabinet was once duped by a grade three drop-out into believing that diesel could come from a rock at Maninga Hills near Chinhoyi, and a high-powered ministerial taskforce was set-up especially to handle this "blessing"?
Stupidity rules because there is a huge market for it. The magnet of hope is a powerful one. And those who wield it are usually secretive. Evangelical churches are nothing new … the poor get rich, the ill get healthy, the dying get life afresh and the lonely find true and undying love. In the rush of holy euphoria, the devoted eat grass out in the garden. The singles queue with their underwear off so that "Men Of God" can bless their bottoms with holy kisses. Good for them!
Dr CZ is sorry to say the following, but it is better off said. As St Jerome of Jerusalem once said: If truth cause an offence, it is better that an offence be caused than that the truth be denied. Hubbard, the founder of Scientology said: "If you want to become rich, START A CHURCH". There is certainly no business that is as lucrative as the afterlife-insurance business.
Now show good cause why Dr CZ should not unleash his own church, CZ Ministries International Plc, in 2015?
Quotables!
The year of our Good Lord 2014 was quite fruitful when it comes to quotable quotes. Lots of them! Below are just a selected few:
"They have taken their route to oblivion. It's like they are now aboard MH370 (the Malaysian plane that mysteriously disappeared months ago)," Japhet Moyo ZCTU secretary general on Tendai Biti and Elton Mangoma's decision to form a party.
"It's very strange that the EU has not extended an invitation to the First Lady. What God has put together the EU is trying to separate. Do they expect the President to respect the EU and disrespect his own marriage?" Presidential spokesman George Charamba on the EU's decision to First Lady Grace Mugabe visa.
Jonathan Moyo on looters: "To say you abuse funds and you are caught with hands in the till, (if) it is published and say it's destroying the image of the party, that's corruption. You will not go down with that political party; it's you and you alone; carry your cross alone. It's not in the constitution of the party; it's against party policy. You are stealing alone and if people keep quiet, the media will say you were stealing for the party."
Jabulani Sibanda on "bedroom coup": "If you want to find me guilty of not attending the First Lady's rallies, I plead guilty on that one and I won't attend unless the programme changes. I can't attend a function where they say 'Pamberi ne Mazoe Crush, pasi neGamatox'. That slogan is unknown in Zanu-PF. "That slogan is divisive and counter-revolutionary. I don't belong to a venomous group and until their objectives change, I won't be part of that. With its nature now, it's counter-revolutionary and Zimbabweans should stand up against that. All able-bodied people should stand up against that. You can't belong to a group that insults a Vice-President of the country. You can't insult a person like that even if you are from different political parties, but you can encounter on policies. We will back what we will say at that Press conference with what we are doing on the ground. I won't tell you where I am, but I am on the ground. I am not going to allow any coup both in the boardroom and in the bedroom."
Zanu-PF deputy secretary for youth affairs Kudzai Chipanga on Joice Mujuru & Co being persona non grata at the party's just-ended congress: "We want to thank them for participating in congress preparations but they are not welcome. Just like cows, they help in the fields but when it comes to enjoying the yields they are not welcome."
--------------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - CZ
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