Wednesday chat with Auntie Noe - No man wants to marry a woman with tattooed boobs

Today I am feeling really low. I just want to go straight to bed. But before I do let me have a word with the ladies.

Now good ladies I have just summoned you here at my bedside before I take a nap because I have been watching your recent activities on Social Media and I must admit I am quite disappointed.

You see its July 2014 and you are not getting any younger have been seeing you since the year began posting your clubbing photos on Facebook, talking about how you want to get a tattoo. My dear, that was fine. I didn't question you, I understood you, but time is moving and soon you will be fit for marriage.

No man wants to date a woman who has tattooed her boobs all over. How will u even breastfeed your child with an excessively tattooed boob? How will your husband even locate your n*pple umuntu egcwele ngama tattoo (with tattoos all over)?

No man wants to pick you out of a club, take you home and call you his wife. If they pick you from a club, chances are very high that you will go back there anytime you feel your marriage is not working, yet these challenges do exist. They prefer to pick you out of your mother's house, so that even when you guys quarrel, they won't mind if u go back there because they will always come back for you out of the love and respect they have for you.

But then you're always first to update "THANK GOD ITS A FRIDAY siphuza kuphi (where are we drinking tonight)." I guess you want to rave and celebrate every Friday, but if I ask you what exactly you are celebrating you won't even explain. Some will be quick to say "I am celebrating my life!!!!" Woman PLEASE BE SERIOUS. Does it mean the rest of us are dead?

If you want to party every Friday, at least try and achieve something worth celebrating. AND! that reminds me, as you are busy doing the famous "duck face" pose on Facebook, someone somewhere is up loading her graduation photos. As you are busy talking about going to the club, someone somewhere is talking about her forthcoming examinations.

As you are busy listening to Beyonce telling you to dump that broke dude and live independently as a single lady, always remember that she lives in America not Africa and is happily married to Jay-Z. As you are busy exposing your thighs on Facebook, someone is hiding her cute figure in decent clothing waiting for the right eyes to see it.

I rest my case, let me take my nap.

Nobuhle Virgie (Auntie Noe) is our weekly lifestyle and relationship columnist. This article was first seen in her personal Facebook page. If you have any relationship or lifestyle issues that you need to be assisted on send us a whatsapp (+44 7706 128821) message and Auntie Noe will try by all means to help you on the matter.