Wednesday chat with Auntie Noe - Coping with a breakup

So you've broken up with the love of your life…your soulmate…your confidante and best friend. Now what?

For the record, "IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL IT'S OVER", with only one exception… that your ex-partner has married.

First and foremost, decide with your heart, soul and spirit if you really love this person. No amount of time will matter if the love you have for this person is real. The time since the break-up could be a week, a month, a year, 5 years or more before you are back together but if you love him/her then it doesn't matter. True love is not logical, it's emotional. It's not a feeling, it's a choice. If there was a true love connection, which again, only you know, then that experience will always rise above any conflict that rears its ugly head in your relationship. In the words of Rod Tidwell, from the movie, "Jerry MacGuire", "You know when you know"! And as mentioned before, only you know that.

Secondly, you should also know if this person truly loves you. Sometimes it is best to cut your losses, but of course, only you truly know the answer to this question. Even if your ex-partner is seeing someone else and it looks like their relationship is getting closer, do not be discouraged. It is time to man up and accept this situation. More than likely, this new girl/guy is a rebound for him/her. If you trust in your heart and soul that your ex has feelings for you based on the relationship you shared, then he/she does…really! You have to trust that the love that you gave him/her will prevail during this separation.

Lastly, give him/her as much time and space as needed to miss you and believe me, he/she will if the memories you shared made him/her deliriously happy. You might ask, "Well, how long is that?" As long as it takes…remember, you are in this situation for the long haul if, in fact, you love this person. You can never put a time limit on love.

If it has been a month since you've contacted your ex, then do so. If an apology is in order, then make it promptly and in person if possible. You do not need to go overboard, but you do need to be sincere. A mailed letter is required. Let me repeat, a mailed letter is required…no phone call, no text message and no email. If you do not get a response, don't panic. Lack of response could be a good thing…at least he/she is not telling you to get lost, don't correspond with me or it's over. Am I right? The following month you write her again and every month thereafter until he/she responds…and he/she will. Eventually, she/he will respond either negatively or positively. Either way, you will get the answer you seek. I personally believe that no response is a positive…remember you are starting from square one again and it will take some time to rebuild the love you both shared as well as the trust required to move forward.

I am a firm believer in fighting for love. It is the foundation of humanity and a cause that is worth attaining. Having said that, please know that it is never over until it is over. I know this is a cliche' by notable New York Yankee, Yoggi Berra, but it is worth mentioning again. I believe in the age old adage, "Love Always Prevails". In closing, always know that any love worth having, is worth fighting for.