Wednesday chat with Auntie Noe - How to Get Your Girlfriend Back

You've been regretting it since the day you let her go. And you can't sleep another day without doing something about it. If you really love her, do not give up. Get on your feet and win your girlfriend back.

To start you off the right track, here are some points and pointers to keep in mind.

Give her space after the break-up. The harder you push, the more she might pull away. If she says she needs some time, respect her decision. Do not call her every minute of the day. Last thing you want is to annoy her with your over-persistence, and worse, drive her into a habit of hiding from you.

Do not beg or plead. This tends to scream desperation. Even if you are actually desperate to win her back, do not turn clingy.

You can court her all over again with flowers, chocolates and letters. But while the gifts are bound to draw a smile, winning her back will require a more personal and sincere gesture.

Show her that you are worthy of a second chance. Use the time you have spent apart since the break-up to reflect.

Think back on the qualities that attracted her to you in the first place. Play up your strengths. Become the man she first fell for.

Figure out what exactly went wrong with your relationship. Replay in your head the conversations, and even fights, you had.

From there, you'll know what needs to be fixed. If it was something you did, ask yourself why you did it in the first place. This way, you are clear on which issues you need to come to terms with. If it was a problem with your behaviour, then work on your weak spots.

After you have made the necessary "fixes", arrange to meet or talk with her. You can check with her friends if they think she's ready to hear you out. Be patient.

When she does agree to a conversation, humbly apologise for your wrongdoings and take responsibility for your actions. "Sorry" goes a long way.

But do not stop at an apology. Convince her that your relationship deserves a do-over. Assure her that you will be a much better partner this time around. Pour your heart out.

Do not, however, force the reconciliation. Show her how much you want to be with her. Let everything else fall into place.

Also, do not pressure her into deciding on your future right away. Let her know of your intentions and your feelings, but assure her that you will completely respect her choice.

Remember that there's no need to focus all your energies on this quest. Have some time to yourself as well. Do what makes you feel good, may it be a new diet, a new hobby or a new look. Who knows, this might even win you extra points with her.

The effective "rules of engagement" will vary with each guy and each relationship. Use the pointers listed above as a guide to plotting your plan of action. Just remember that sincerity and determination are key. And of course, being mature, responsible, respectful and thoughtful always comes handy. Good luck!

Nobuhle Virgie (Auntie Noe) is our weekly lifestyle and relationship columnist. If you have any relationship or lifestyle issues that you need to be assisted on email her at auntienoe@bulawayo24.com or send us a whatsapp (+44 750 1941957) message and Auntie Noe will try by all means to help you on the matter.