No job is too big, no woman is too small: Female undertaker

PEOPLE die in various circumstances, some fall ill and are just skin on bones when they die, some are crushed in horrific accidents that leave them disfigured, some are found decomposing being devoured by maggots before they are even buried, others are those that just die but maintain their natural look.

All these people have to be prepared well before they are buried and someone has to do the job as per relatives' specifications. Undertakers are the people who deal with such situations on a daily basis in a bid to make a living and nothing beats such a lifestyle where you have to be in the silent presence of dead people that have no relation whatsoever to you and having to go home and eat or cook for your family.

It seems traumatic to say the least and that explains why the job was traditionally and deservedly so reserved for men. Tales have also been told of how scary it is to spend most of the time dealing with dead strangers and how at the end of time most people in this career path end up with psychological problems but this is not backed by evidence.

These and other tales however, make the profession not suitable for the faint-hearted and therefore a men only career. But last week this reporter had a chance to talk to a female undertaker at a relative's funeral in Nerutanga village in Buhera, Manicaland Province.

Arriving in Buhera at night we all gathered at the homestead singing and dancing — as we gave our relative a befitting send-off while waiting for the hearse to arrive from Harare. At about 9 pm my brother Devout got a call to say he must wait by the muzhanje/umhobohobo tree along the Mutare highway to direct the driver of the hearse. The hearse arrived, a silver grey Toyota pick-up truck.

From where I was standing I could see the driver skillfully manoeuvre through the small gate with pin-point accuracy, parking the vehicle safely, while avoiding a tree stump and several rocks in the yard. Then to everyone's amazement when the driver stepped out to open the hearse, it was a woman. For a moment some people actually stopped crying as they were struck with awe, while posing in bewilderment. Standing quite tall for a woman, she stepped out, dressed in a black suit, black tie and white shirt.

A brown skinned woman, in high heels and a contagious smile, carefully pushed a trolley into the round hut and asked relatives to carry the coffin and set it up for the night. Sunday News later found out that the woman who was behind the wheels was Ms Margret Nyakudya (45), a mother of two girls from Harare and a funeral assistant at Doves Funeral Services.

Nyakudya is one of the few female undertakers in the country and she has transcended the boundaries of gender to take up a job mainly associated with men. Asked on why she shied away from the "conventional" forms of employment associated with women, her response was that she was born to be an undertaker and has always admired men in this line of work.

"I started working for Moonlight funeral services and I was a driver cum undertaker until I moved to Doves last year in August," she said. She said her job as a funeral assistant is to carry out tasks that bereaved people cannot do for themselves.

"I assist bereaved people by doing things that they cannot do. Like in this instance I went to Parirenyatwa Hospital where I picked up the body of the deceased and took it to our palour. I prepared him for burial and even shaved the man's beard as the family had requested before I drove here (Buhera) with the body for burial," said Nyakudya.

She said she is responsible for addressing the relatives of the deceased with their concerns prior to burial and helps them when they have problems. Some families, she said, come and request their dead relatives to have make-up on and certain hair styles and she is the woman for the job. Her inspiration to become a funeral assistant began as early as her school days.

"There is a man called Micheal Galiao (now late) who worked for Mashfords Funeral Services before moving to Moonlight who I admired a lot when I was still a school girl. I would see him burying Government officials and other prominent people and I just told myself I wanted to be like him when I grow up.

"One day my sister in-law passed on and we went to the rural areas where I asked the funeral service provider who had come with the body how I could enter this field and I was told. The person even cleared some misconceptions that I had about this job and eventually I applied," she said.

She initially applied for a job at Nyaradzo funeral services and they needed a person with a defensive driving licence which she did not have and she went on to get tested.Unfortunately after acquiring the defensive driver's licence the company had already hired and she sent an application to Moonlight where she was eventually hired. She worked at Moonlight until she moved to Doves.     

"I love my job so much. When I left Moonlight I tried to find another job but I just couldn't and I went back into the same industry. I am happy assisting bereaved people," she said.

She said her family, especially her two daughters were supportive when she told them she wanted to be a funeral assistant. She said they were only worried if she was going to be able to manage and she told them that passion enables one to do any job. Nyakudya is comfortable with her job. She said she can drive from Victoria Falls to Harare alone with a body and not have any fears. Even if she has a breakdown in the middle of nowhere at night she waits until she gets assistance and fears nothing at all.

"I have come to realise that when a person dies they know nothing, they are at peace and they do what I want not the other way round. It's unlike a living person who will complain even when it is not necessary. I communicate with my clients for the day and tell them where we are going even as I dress them up I make sure they look as natural and as good as possible before we leave for burial," she said.

She dispelled myths that the public have over people who work for funeral parlors.

"It is a lie that we are always under the influence of hard drugs and alcohol for us to do our job. We are always sober. This is just a job like any other. You just have to be strong and passionate about what you do. I started work with four other people but some could not handle being in a morgue as they would vomit and do all sorts of things and they quit but I soldiered on because I was passionate about my job," said Nyakudya.

On the issue of nightmares and horror stories that the public speculates about, Nyakudya said, "there is nothing of that sort; the job is just ordinary and not for the faint-hearted generally."

"I go to the mortuary even late at night alone. I have never come across horrific scenes that people talk about, when a person has died they are at peace they will not wake up at all or talk as some people say. It is a peaceful place as people there will be resting," she added.

In her line of work she said she comes across difficult clients who have unrealistic demands but she has overcome this by being patient. She said she can allow people to vent their anger at her until they calm down. She said if she also raises her voice with people who are too demanding there will not be progress.

Nyakudya said she encourages other women to take up such jobs so as to demystify society's notions on gender. She argues that because women perform the difficult task of giving birth, which requires enormous strength, there is nothing that should stop them from doing jobs normally associated with males. "I would one day want to see funeral parlors that are dominated by women instead of men. Rather try and it fails than to fear from the sidelines," she added.

Nyakudya says her youngest daughter is interested in being a funeral assistant and she is teaching her how to drive so that when she is old enough she will get a driver's licence in partial fulfillment of her passion to become a funeral assistant. In Harare Nyakudya said she is the only female funeral assistant at Doves and the second female is a bus driver.

Their Kwekwe and Bindura branches have three women drivers making it five throughout the country. Nyakudya who travels alone with no aid, sets up the place of burial and skillfully lowers the coffin alone and removes all the equipment used for the funeral and sets of back to her base where she awaits the next adventure in her line of work. No job is too much for a dedicated woman.