Confusing 'love' of men

MOST women have come to believe that men's definition of the word love is different from theirs following the way they abuse it. Generally, love must be sweet and truthful, but for some men it's the opposite.

Real love should come with some commitment, but that makes men run to the mountains, leaving their partners in dilemma of what exactly they mean when they utter those three words, "I love you."

Nothing more puzzling than this, one minute a man can be happily courting you, calling you consistently, and acting as though your relationship is strong and will go the distance. He might say he loves you or that he's falling for you. But then, suddenly, he becomes distant and withdrawn, which threatens the very foundation of your relationship as it will be clear that he might leave you anytime.

It is really heart-wrenching when your partner pulls back and acts in a confusing manner. It is heartbreaking to realise that someone's action does not fulfil what comes out from his mouth. This is most men's weakness and it has left many hearts in pieces.

Men pull away when they fall in love because they are afraid of losing their freedom. As fun as it is to have someone to be with forever, on his side being with you might involve some lost opportunity costs that he's not ready to give up yet. Usually, such fear is totally subconscious, but it comes along with a more intense relationship. When a man feels as though your relationship might be "forever", he can get spooked and start thinking about all of the things he will give up if he commits to you and starts to act in a weird manner.

At times sitting back and enjoying the ride can be a difficult thing if you are concerned with starting a family and having children. Usually, women think about a relationship's future much more often than a man does. Even if you have never told him about it, he might feel pressure from you anyway. The best way to deal with this is to choose a man who eventually wants to get married in the first place, then not pressure him for anything. He will stop backing away when he stops feeling pressured about doing more.

As much as we usually say there are some women who are not the marrying type, the same applies to some men. These kind of men fall in love, but marriage is not in their plans. To avoid heartbreak, even if he loves you, never force him into a marriage. If you really want to get married, you owe it to yourself to move on instead of trying to drag him, kicking and screaming to the altar.

If you are a woman you have to understand that love is not always about marriage. Trying to continue in a relationship with someone who sees their life path so differently will only drive a wedge between you. Don't hang on while trying to convince him that you are the one for him. It's a fact, that maybe you are not the one for him, no matter how shiny, happy, hopeful, and exciting your relationship can be.

He might be perfectly happy with short-term dating, but feel reluctant to completely merge your lives together. If you know there are underlying serious problems with compatibility in your relationship, you owe it to yourself to stop trying to tell yourself that something will change, someone will bend, or it will all work out.

The other thing which makes it appear as if men have got different definition for love is because they worry about their careers and purpose a great deal. They tend to be one track minded about them. If he's having trouble at work or struggling to find his purpose, he might pull away from your relationship to deal with it. One of the biggest mistakes women make with men is pushing for more of a man's time and attention when he is having work issues. Men tend to use their career success as an underpinning for confidence in other areas of their lives.

Success starts with work and purpose and moves outward. If he doesn't feel confident at work, it will bleed into your relationship.

Falling in love is amazing. However, men don't really live in their emotional world as often as women do. They tend to dip in and out, experiencing intense emotion and then pulling back. It isn't because he doesn't love you, it's because he has to focus on other things for a while to get back tothe emotional centre!

FEEDBACK
I enjoyed the slay queens' article. Allow me to add a few things. Dating a slay queen, a guy can kiss his private life goodbye because those people love publicity as they are always taking pictures and uploading them on Facebook and Instagram. If a guy likes his privacy, he should stay away from slay queens, his relationship will be known by everyone in the world. The other thing slay queens are not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. As far as education is concerned, its non-existent as most of them never went as far as Advanced Level, they are empty vessels.

I love slay queens because if you supply them with everything they need, they never cheat on you unlike other women who pretend to be saints. With slay queens; what you see is what you get.

Thumbs up to the slay queens' article, these women have caused the death of our brothers. It is painful to spend a lot of money on someone then she dumps you after getting someone better.

Your views and opinions about slay queens are misguided. You were writing much about gold diggers kind of women after a man's pocket rather than marriage and love.

My son's girlfriend is a slay queen and they have been dating for about three years. It is sad that this woman's presence in my son's life is more of a curse as all they do is spend money on shopping and going for holidays. I liked your article.
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