Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

Before the July 30 elections in 2018, MDC Alliance's swashbuckling and technophile public relations machine nourishingly fed us the optics of what we were told were the makings of a political tsunami that would unclasp ZANU-PF's grip on power for the first time in 38 years.

One of the most enduring images of that campaign was the picture of the young presidential hopeful, Nelson Chamisa, enjoying a bicycle ride across Chilonga Bridge in Chiredzi on June 10 as he made his way to a rally at Tshovani Stadium. It was eye candy for starry-eyed opposition supporters.

Later in the day, we were shown pictures of a brimful stadium of a political army that was on the brink of delivering momentous victory, so went the commentary.

What could have stopped them?
For the first time in almost two decades, the country was being patrolled by a phalanx of election observer missions from around the world that would have ordinarily safeguarded their victory. The campaign was peaceful, with the opposition venturing into the heartland of ZANU-PF's power base to sell their message.

Well, it did not work out as expected for the merry band of naïve but ambitious politicians.

The wheels soon flew off.

Fifty days later - on July 30 to be exact - the sugarcane farming community of Chiredzi North delivered sweet victory for ZANU-PF, which left MDC-A bitter. Kikiki.

In a constituency that is home to 44 233 voters, the winning candidate, Roy Bhila, cat-walked over the line after amassing a hefty 35 000 votes.

Despite the elaborate pageantry of theatrics and optics that preceded the elections, the opposition party even farcically failed to field a candidate.

An incredulous opposition, smarting from a merciless canning (no pun intended), resorted to what they know best - a toxic combo of cynicism, lies and hyperbole. Young Chamisa's spokesperson, the nose-mouthed Dr Nkululeko Sibanda, who cannot possibly be counted on to tell where Chiredzi can be located on the map, began circulating a document claiming that since the constituency had only 30 688 voters (a blue lie), Bhila's votes could only be what they were if the electoral management body, ZEC, had collated figures that included sugarcane plants in the constituency. Kikikiki. Good one!

The circus continues
Well, the greatest lesson we learn from history is that we do not learn anything from history, and even if we learn that we do not learn anything, we continue not learning anything from what we would have learnt. Kikikiki.

MDC-A seems to have learnt nothing and forgotten nothing. The theatrics still continue.

On August 21, its spokesperson Fadzai Mahere - a lawyer and political wannabe whose tongue is so anglicised that it cannot even pronounce anything in her mother's tongue - appeared on SABC (South African Broadcasting Corporation) telling the world that State agents had allegedly murdered a senior party official, Lavender Chiwayi.

The European Union also leapt up to this narrative, censoriously exhorting law enforcement agents to exhaustively investigate this supposedly heinous cold-blooded murder.

As it later turned out, the hitherto unknown Mr Chiwayi - may his dear soul rest in eternal peace - was not a senior party official, but a mere councillor for Karoi Urban Ward 4.

Not only that, a subsequent post-mortem showed no signs of foul play. In fact, preliminary investigations from the police indicated that on the night before his demise, the ill-fated Mr Chiwayi had been bingeing on krango (an illicit and toxic brew).

Bishop Lazarus can only say Fadzai aitaura kuti afadze mutengi wehwahwa (a piper singing a tune called by the blesser). But, this is reminiscent of a recent theatrical yarn spun by the MDC-A in July when its co-ordinating committee secretary for Mberengwa North, Trinos Chinyoka, fatally fell into a disused mine shaft.

Again State security agents were singled out as the culprits. And, again, it took an MDC-A official to set the record straight. This is now a consistent pattern. But how low does one have to sink to use a fellow party member's death as a weapon for political expediency?

How sad!

Psalms 26: 24-26 warns: "Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbour deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly."

Psalms 36:3 adds: "The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful; they fail to act wisely or do good."

This is why Bishop Lazi recently indicated that there is urgent need to definitively crash this nonsense through a security law that criminalises the deliberate spread of information calculated to harm the security or economic interests of Zimbabwe, similar to what China has done in Hong Kong.

Sister from down south
While these comical theatrics have erstwhile found a happy home on the Wild West West and online sewer that is social media, there are now being funnelled and mainstreamed on South African television channels such as SABC and eNCA.

Apparently, the floodgates were opened when ANC secretary-general Ace Magashule took potshots on Harare in an August 6 interview.

"What we see there on television is uncalled for. Lives of human beings matter. Zimbabwean lives matter," said Magashule in an unusual moment of "epiphany".

For the avoidance of doubt, when he talked of television, he was talking principally about SABC, which was recycling old pictures and videos ostensibly showing police brutality and purporting they were new.

But where else did he get his information from?

"We have spoken to some people who are exiled, who have run away from Zimbabwe, That is why we are interacting party to party to raise some of the concerns they have actually raised about what is happening in Zimbabwe," he gushed, before images of him flanked by grinning members of the infamous G40 hacks - Walter Mzembi, Saviour Kasukuwere and Patrick Zhuwawo - began filtering through.

The SABC, led by its foreign editor Sophie Mokoena, later took up the mantle and the anti-Government crusade has continued ever since.

For Bishop Lazi, who does believe in coincidence, this is not fortuitous; it is quite explainable. You see, Mokoena and Magashule are from the Free State province of SA. In fact, the former used to work at Lesedi FM - a radio station that is owned by the SABC - in the same province.

While working there, Mokoena joined forces with her colleagues Sebolelo Ditlhakanyane and Hlaudi Motsoeneng (later controversially appointed SABC COO) and provided Magashule with the much-needed publicity that catapulted him from ANC provincial chair - a position he had held since independence in SA - to the coveted position of premier.

Before that, he had struggled to dislodge Terror Lekota from the premiership.

A workmate of the trio - who described them as a "power group" - later told News24 that: "The three of them were always together and they all made friends with the politicians. They gave Ace (Magashule) airtime when he had that fight with Terror Lekota. With their constant coverage they helped push Ace into power."

Is it now beginning to make sense?

It gets more hilarious.

Hlaudi, who was known to cosy up and pander to the interest of politicians, later wormed his way up to become SABC chief operating officer in 2011.He, however, did not even have a matric certificate, a basic qualification.

When he was engaged at Lesedi FM, it was a struggle to regularise his employment.

He even travelled with our sister Sophie to Pretoria in a desperate attempt to try and "regularise" his matric to no avail.

It is, therefore, not surprising that when Hlaudi became COO, our sister was appointed acting political editor of television news and Ditlhakanyane became head of radio news.

If Bishop Lazi did not know better, he would say Mokoena was just a fence-post tortoise, which does not know how it found itself in such a lofty position and doesn't not know how to dismount.

But the Bishop is a fair man.

What, however, does not help our sister is a report by the SA auditor-general dated March 31, 2019, which rapped SABC for employing a political editor in 2018 who had a poor showing during the interviews.

It might be interesting to note that during the interviews, Mokoena, who regularly flaunts her intelligence and professionalism on social media, scored third.

Well - surprise! surprise! - the guy who was unprocedurally appointed was later relieved of his duties for incompetence.

If he could be viewed as incompetent, imagine the one who scored third. Kikikiki.

Controversial
This is just part of Mokoena's chequered career history, which saw her being removed from the political team that covered the ANC's 53rd conference in December 2012 ostensibly over concerns about her "reporting".

You see, for the best part of her career she has struggled to exorcise the tag of being a hired political gun. They say those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Don't you find it curious, as Bishop Lazi does, that she was one of the first reporters to interview Jonathan Moyo - also part of the G40 - in January 2018 after his ignominious escape from Zimbabwe two months earlier?

There is a lot that happens behind the scenes. It will all come to naught. However, the lesson that has to be learnt is that it is always dangerous for a country to receive TV signals of another sovereign state.

Get it from the Bishop: This axis of unholy forces who are doing their darndest to ensure Zimbabwe fails would never prevail.

While the theatrics, optics and spectacle continues to play out on social media and other platforms, President ED, who was quick off the mark by embarking on austerity measures in September 2017 soon after his election, is putting in the hours.

As his administration marked the second year in office on Thursday last week, he still has three more years to implement his vision, which is now becoming increasingly clear and palpable.

Despite extraordinary odds - Cyclone Idai, the worst drought in 40 years and now the coronavirus pandemic - the economy has seemingly transitioned from austerity to stability, and would soon set sail towards growth.

While young Chamisa and his bicycle have not yet returned to Chilonga, ED's administration has revived the 350-hectare Chilonga Irrigation scheme. Expansion of outgrower sugarcane schemes in Chiredzi is continuing at break-neck speed through the mammoth Mount Kilimanjaro project, and this is ominous as we go towards 2023.

Bishop out!