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When clowns sup at State House, it's trouble, serious trouble!

13 Jun 2021 at 17:40hrs | Views
Pretoria mornings are now cold. It is a geographical axiom winter is for chills.

Increasingly here, the weather is biting and unrelenting like a witch's tit as assumed.

Early morning jogging is liberating but then again wadrobes have been refreshed with dull heavy apparel to fend off winter claws.

Add that to the incoming third wave of coronavirus buffeting much of the world, Pretoria is on the cusp of yet another round of grotesque stories of deaths, sickness and probably another fresh round of lockdown, who knows?

Harare authorities already have shown they are veering towards forbidding lockdown banning large gatherings including weddings workshops and musical concerts.

It is also cold over yonder in Harare so I am told.

Understandably so, the region was buffeted by lots of rains in the last season.

It's the chills everywhere!

But not to be outdone is the chills dished out by the Harare administration.

Optics coming out showing the President and maverick pastor- cum-comedian-cum influencer venerating the President as ordained by God to lead are an intrigue of note.

Java meets the President, aowa!

I say chilling in the sense that by having an audience with the clownish Java,  the administration has thrown down the gauntlet for 2023 elections.

It is prepared to go beyond the ordinary and scrape at the bottom of the barrel for influential people and such like public figures however controversial they might be to work in their favour.

Java of the ' tswibidi' fame and rib-cracking prophetic tongues  looks like a Christmas tree bedecked in a yellowish floral suit that actually cost an arm and a leg on Amazon online.

The camaraderie shown between the two not only shows Munangagwa is a master tactician. He is known as the 'Crocodile' - cool ,calm and collected not showing any negative emotion but when he strikes, it's chaos everywhere.

2023 elections will be a no holds barred battle,a fist for a fist and Zanu-PF is laying the groundwork aligning itself with people of the moment, the vote- takers, the foot soldiers, endearing itself with the masses.

On the hand, the opposition has the best keyboard warriors trashing both Java and the President for enjoying themselves in shameless opulence at the expense of taxpayers.

Social media streets even say there is shady deals between the two some even alleging Java is a gold smugler for big chefs and top government bureaucrats. Even more, the religious say Java is a fake prophet, I wish I knew the difference between fake and real prophets from latter-day churchgoers. Nobody was there during Biblical times to at least compare and confirm if one is a dummy or not.

But because of Java's 'influencer' status in which he has a large following on social media platform especially with the youths and flaunting pseudo-riches, Zanu -PF has set the wheel in motion to capitalise on Java' s proximity to the youths.

The meeting with the President only worked in his favour to increase his currency amongst the youths who are some of the voters in the coming plebiscite.

All his skullduggery everywhere has paid off,  buttressed by a nod from the President.

Not that he is a good preacher or fortune teller, neither has he prophesied big issues nor dressed well.
Java's smiling face in that floral suit tea-partying with the President and his tacit approval that Munangagwa is heaven- sent to lead will have rippling effects amongst the youthful voters.

There had been visuals of Java before dolling out free dollars to large entourages of youths cementing him as a 'Mbinga' with loads of cash.

Prior to that, we saw him cruising around with fellow maverick businessman Phillip Chiyangwa who unashamedly exhorted Java to side with the ruling party of the moment to make money. Actually Chiyangwa said there is no way one can make money without supporting the governing party. That was a priceless political lesson one can never get at the most prestigious Business schools of the world be it Havard or MIT.

That humongous love Java receives wherever he goes will get him annexed as a bridge between vote- seeking leaders and the youths.

Munangagwa is strategic and it is folly not to see that for what it is, a carot to woo unsuspecting youthful voters on his side.

Here is Java, as controversial as they come, a pulpit bandit warts and all, a social media maverick- comedian rolled into one getting the attention of the President and even take charge of the proceedings.

Who does that? But a chief is like a rubbish heap, everything comes to him.

During Mugabe' s tenure, it was rumoured he had a passionate dislike of bad dressers, himself snappily dressed the whole time. As a rookie journalist at a government outfit, men kept imammculate jackets and neckties in drawers lest a Statehouse assignment arose from the blue. It was unbecoming to rock up at a presidential function shabbily dressed. Mugabe was easily stupefied by such, it was rumoured.

Enter Java at the stage, in that suit however expensive.
For Mugabe, that would have been tantamount to daring a lion in it's own den.

There has been talk of late on how to dress when meeting the President. In fact Nick  Mangwana, the government spin doctor also added his voice on Twitter.

Munangagwa is a man known to be security savvy, he is wary of people in his surroundings with journalists even taken from pillar to post for interviews before he settles for a comfortable place of his choice.

The optics show Java taking charge of the camera seated next to the President smiles and utter hogwash to the effect Munangagwa was the choosen one by God. Aha!...Did he forget the 'Handiende' Chief Justice Luke Malaba judgement that catapulted Munangagwa to the throne. Was that the hand of God or man? Mutatis mutandis on which side of the political fence you sit.

Many people will dismiss the Munangagwa and Java  meeting as nothing but a joke taken too far however, I see it as a masterstroke by a master tactician. We have seen musician Suluman Chimbetu  in Zanu- PF party overalls recently affirming allegiance much like his late father legendary Dendera music king Simon Chimbetu.

Musicians and people with a higher public presence are crucial in tugging at voters' heartstrings. They are a brand and just like the Biblical demon Legion, they come in large numbers.

And when crowd-pulling clowns of Java' s calibre engage in tea parties at State House, it's trouble, serious trouble for the opposition.

There has to be a counter strategy by the opposition. Right now there is zilch. Opposition figures are busy  pontificating about the regime' s double standards on zoom and on twitter threads, platforms my voting granny in Bikita cannot afford let alone understand the basics. I would say arrogance burned the chief's compound.

Meanwhile Zanu PF is laying the foundation playing around with the optics. It is being seen with the people, the Javas of the ghetto.

As citizens, we should rest assured there is more coming our way. 'Influencers' will be used across the political  divide but they should not be the yardstick to measure party policies, history and future endeavors.

It has been the norm the world over from time immemorial. International musical bands like the iconic U2 fronted by Bono have made indelible imprints on causes but truly believe me when Java comes to town, it's business unusual.

The chief must have a clever messenger and the opposition can ignore that at own peril.

Josiah Mucharowana is a media graduate living in Pretoria. Feedback;

Source - Josiah Mucharowana
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