This and that with Maluphosa:- Wanted! Hooligans

We have embarked on a project; conducting lectures around South Africa. No need to guess the topic: Traumatology for Teachers, and all teachers are encouraged to attend. We are starting next week because it is an emergency and soon things will spiral out of control. Our first port of call will be Soweto. Kids there have started implementing what a certain imbecile of a politician instructed them to do, just a day after he told them. 
Labo abangezwanga, the official said to the kids; "Nxa u-teacher ekutshaya, hit back!" and those of you who didn't know, abantwana bes'kolo lapha bathwala amaAK47, ama RPG, imkhonto, izinja, izagila, imkhobo, ontikolosha lamahloka, when they go to school. The situation was already dire; there was no need for this careless oral diarrhoea. So, what next? The same official will quickly advocate a "World Beat The teacher Day" or follow this up with "If your parents beat you, hit back!" It won't surprise us. These are the failures we vote into power. 
So teachers will need certificates in psychological, physical and spiritual trauma; First Aid for lacerations, stab wounds, cuts, amputations, gun shots, and death. We have already acquired a few things to help us demonstrate, and possibly donate to schools more prone to violence. Siza says we should ask Gaddafi to sell us a ship-load of weapons and bullet proof vests to sell to the teachers. After all, Gaddafi will agree with us, teachers have rights too, especially to safety. And this will ease his arms embargo imposed by the United Nations. Soon the schools will experience blood-shed never seen anywhere in the world. 
Koze kube nini ama teacher ehlukunyezwa zingane when they are parents too? And how would you yourself feel when mama or baba comes back from school, swollen, bleeding, fractured, bruised, and crying because utshaywe yingane yes'kolo? If there are student unions worth their salt, this is the kind of thing they should demonstrate against, don't you think? And Tabo-Tabo says she will sell 'Amafutha Abelungu Okuhlikihla,' 'Ilitshe la-belungu' and ukata to protect teachers from imkhobo labo ndofa sent to bewilder teachers. But she will operate under a more appropriate name, like Gogo Bizori, Gogo Magebhula, Mamo'ntwengu, Sis'Suza Mkhobo, or Gog'uNdof'uyanqomfa, Aunt Mkhob'umithi; any pseudonym really ezaqandisa imsisila yale mdlwempe ethiwa ngo ndofa. 
Dee says akayingeni eyama lecture or izangoma. Instead he sees an opportunity to start an armed reaction company for teachers. He says abantwana bes'kolo behave the way they do because they don't know death is final. So he will show them that it is. He says he will ensure teachers have pistols and grenades within and without school grounds. He will also teach them how to sleep like umvundla √¢‚Ǩ‚Äú with eyes open. Sqhezema wants to provide the same service to the students. His worry, though, is that kids don't have much disposable income. But he will advise them to abstain from drugs and alcohol for a week or so, so they can save for at least an AK 47. We all know Sqhezema wanted to be a doctor. But he left school at grade three because of his hatred for teachers. 
Godlwayo and I, being staunch Christians, want to save lives first, hence the self-defense lectures and prayers. But we all agree who-ever came up with this nonsense yama rights must be imprisoned. You can't have rights without bounds. One delinquent at a  school is one too many, and the official wants to turn schools into grottos for Yizo-Yizo style hooligans. And he is the first person to point fingers at teachers when students are ill-disciplined or fail exams. A child will surely refuse to do home work, or write a test, or attend class. And the teacher must say his last prayers before confronting the child. Sqhezema hastens to say perhaps the official who said this used to be on wrong books with the teachers and hopes the students can fight his battles for him. Impossible. What do your regulations say about teachers' working conditions, officer? Nothing? Then that's the area you should be worried about, stupid. 
I remember at Seula Secondary School there used to be a headmaster, Mr. Nleya. The man was such a disciplinarian even now the parents wish he was still there. The guy that took over when Mr. Nleya transferred was some joker that needed disciplining himself. Kids started to exploit the gaps he had deliberately created among the staff. He even announced to the students that no one was allowed to cane them, for whatever reason. And things just fell apart. One old man said to the urchin headmaster at a meeting; 
"Wena ndoda, you can go back and tell that hulumende of yours that we do not want that rule here. Uzasonela abantwana. Singa madoda sinje sikhuliswe lu swazi. U-swazi alubulali. Don't tell us umbhedo la. Nx!" Baphi obaba abanje, who can challenge all the stupid declarations by politicians? One class tried to rebel against authority and refused to water the garden when Mr. Nleya was still head. Mr. Nleya whipped the whole class. It was nothing serious. But one boy brought his mother to school the following day to kill the headmaster. 
The head explained the rules of the school but apologised anywhere to the concerned parent. A week later she was back; the boy had cornered her with a sjambok! She wanted the head or the school to step in and discipline the boy. I told her the school was not the UN that is expected to step in to quell civil wars. The head flatly told the woman to take his boy home and make sure he doesn't come back to that school, ever! Zehl 'ihlathi. Within the week the boy, who was then in form two, jumped the border to be a herd-boy in Botswana. 
Ubaba lo othi yena abantwana batshaye amatitsha, is he a parent or some infertile, barren, celestial alien? Each time I go to consultation days where my children learn, I tell the teachers: these are my children. They are not government's children. When they do wrong, they embarrass me and my clan, not the government. So teacher, owami umntwana tshaya because this is how I bring them up at home. 
I know a teacher can never punish my child for no reason because the teacher is a professional who knows the needs of my child. He is there to guide my child. Disciplining umntwana does not mean you don't love them. They will evaluate us one day and say yes, my parent hated me; he couldn't even discipline me. Then it will be too late. If we bring up izinto ezibolileyo, lazo will bring ezazo and the world will go to the dogs like this official. The cycle of violence, delinquency, drugs, alcohol, disrespect, and other social ills will never be broken. 
Once my child hits a teacher, please don't ask me. Just expel summarily. So much for the government officials who cannot love their own children, and pretend to love ours, only to create good-for-nothings that think they can make the earth rotate off its axis. 
Hulumende, siyakuncenga, hands off our children. We love them better than you because they are ours. We hate your laws that follow us all day, even into our bedrooms. We can no-longer cough without first looking over our shoulders. 
Meanwhile, the official, I understand, has a construction company and has applied for a tender to build prisons. So all these teacher-beating delinquents will be holed in prisons the official built! Ngiyabonga mina.