This & that with Mal'phosa: Woman-made Disaster!

There has never been so much hype and hysteria around the prevalence of gender based violence, ninety percent of which, we are told, is committed by men. Like HIV, it has been called a pandemic, and like HIV, it resists all forms of treatment. I for one am not surprised - it could be worse. Men are a frustrated lot - they have lost control of their wives and children, and themselves too. The so-called liberated woman has turned the world into an alphabet of soup! What a gallimaufry! It's like women just awoken from a kind of Romeo slumber; confused, angry, vengeful, disrespectful, stupidly brave. They, somehow, have decided enough is enough, and are rebelling against and spitting at any laws and traditions and customs set to divide the world into two - that of man and that of woman. They have, like a Russian mercenary army, forcefully invaded our space and more than half the time, caused a lot of havoc and distress. This has resulted in unprecedented man suicide cases and spiking divorce rates. The moral decay is there for everyone concerned to see. It's, as we say, thela-wayeka.

Let us face it - men feel like their wings have been clipped or they have been practically castrated. I, for one, have failed to fulfill just one of God's Ten Commandments - what about all these 'wathin'tumfazi' stuff with so much don't-or- else nonsense? One can safely say that gender-based violence is, in the main, a woman-made disaster.

A woman will deliberately provoke you, to the land of no return - even slap you if she feels like. When you slap back, she scurries to the police station to report abuse. And you will spend a night or two in prison. the police, ost of the men, will laugh at you unesily, and torture you.

Just last week, a woman poured amanzi alobukhokho onto a friend of mine. She instead ran out to the police station and reported that the man had a gun and was ready to use it on her. The police still believe there is a gun somewhere, and are frantically searching. Meanwhile the friend still languishes in the cells, awaiting trial.

A woman will call you horrific names and challenge your manhood. 'Nja! Uthi uyindoda wena? Ahg futh shemu! And, after-all, these children are not yours. Uyakwazi ukwenza umntwana wena.' Then the law arrests the man for the resultant carnage?

A woman will deny you the right to see your children just because she has beef with you. And yet she pressurizes you to support those same kids. Iphi imali yengane? And when you demand to see your children, 'Uyahlanya; uzababona eZoo.'

A woman will bump against you and turn back to insult you. Wena silima, ubobheka la oya khona! If you answer back, she can come back and further abuse you verbally or even physically. At a bar next to my flat, I saw a woman blow some thick green phlegm at a man's face because he had asked to buy her a beer. When the man tried to retaliate, other men, who obviously are also as downtrodden as this one, rose up and beat the poor man to a pulp.

A woman will leave your children and go partying all night. When she finally arrives home at four in the morning and you ask where she spent the night, that is harassment, or abuse, or gender- based violence.

A wife will blatantly deny a man his conjugal rights, and cry 'Rape! Rape!' if you claim them by force. In the middle of a sex act, she will tell her husband, 'Stop! Or I will shout!'

When all this, and more, happens, we must acquiesce. We must recoil into our shells, stay there, and never sulk. In 'The Merchant of Venice', Shakespeare aptly summarizes our situation: "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not take revenge?"

The Bible scoffs at woman leadership. It calls it a bad tree - because, as has been experienced since women took over our territory - bears bad fruit. In his sermon today, my pastor spoke about woman leadership. He said women were not created for leadership positions. Why? Because leadership entails war, and God did not create women for war. A woman, who rises to leadership, whether in church, a home, or politics, takes a warfare position and cannot stand in a war.

He read a scripture from Timothy - 'And I do not permit a woman - - to have authority over men.' He declares that the head of woman is the man, just like Christ is the head of every man. Eve could not lead Adam - but when she did, we all know what happened - we are still paying for that fatal mishap

He quotes from another scripture - What is created for you shall not lead you. Eve was created for Adam, not the other way round. And so a woman must not lead a man. It is God's command and order that a man shall rule over a woman. The woman must respect, intercede and submit. In a family where the wife does not submit, there are endless quarrels, fights, arguments, suffering. why - because there are two heads vying for leadership and pulling in different directions,

In conclusion, the Pastor says, the man must be the head - a role given by God but challenged by Satan and his disciples. Therefore when another head rises in a family, it is a fight between God and Satan. But a man can allocate duties to a woman - remember she is a helper.

So, for as long as the laws of the land keep protecting the woman and castrating men, the scourge of gender-based violence will never end. I can actually foresee men taking up arms to fight these laws that have helped women to evade and annex their valuable and strategic territories.

Finally, 'If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?'

Ngiyabonga mina!

-- Mal'phosa

Live from Joburg