Of coalitions, mild beer and Jollof rice, A light hearted treatment of a concept gripping Zimbabwe

Now that the frenzy has abated a little this could be an opportune moment to look afresh at the much talked about idea of a coalition of parties to co-contest future elections in Zimbabwe.

Such is the mature democracy in my party ZAPU, that open debate on issues such as this is permissible up to and until an agreed collective position is reached, thereafter to be adhered to by all faithful party cadres.

Let me hasten to state that even though I hold a senior political leadership position in ZAPU, I am at liberty to air views which are purely my own and not of the party as a whole. Should my party come to a binding position on this matter in future, I will toe the line however at variance with my own viewpoint that decision be.

When previously asked about my position on coalitions I responded, tongue in cheek by relating one of those stories I had previously come across, likely source the inimitable Anthony De Mello, SJ.

Here goes. A chicken and a pig agreed to enter into a business venture together. The best idea which could seemingly bring about almost immediate returns appeared to be a bacon and egg sandwich venture. The new business partners approached the idea with great gusto, excitement and enthusiasm….. Until the pig realised that in as much as the chicken's commitment was only partial, his was total!

Let us explore the whole idea of coalitions, grand or otherwise systematically.

Coalition, for what purpose?
Every venture,whatever its nature must have an ultimate purpose. Judging by what has been openly stated those clamouring for a grand coalition of Zimbabwean political formations appear neither to be starting from the same standpoint nor aiming at the same target. No surprise here at all; these are early days yet. However it is possible to glean from what has been aired so far that the aims and targets are so disparate as to be irreconcilable. There are those who view the sole purpose of any coalition as the dislodging and wresting of power from Zanu. At the other end of the spectrum are those motivated by transferring of power from the current "kleptocratical" regime so as to empower the long suffering masses of Zimbabwe.

It is a complete no-brainer to realise that the idea of a coalition bent only on the removal of the regime, vile though this governing party may be, is dead in the water. One only has to cast one's memory back to the not so distant past to realise how those waving the "regime change" agenda were completely out gunned, put on the back foot and routed. One thing that Zanu has perfected in thirty-four years is the art of survival, the erection of an impregnable barrier against this line of attack. Anything that creates that the laager mentality within Zanu is bound to fail,critically because that party has sequestrated and utilises a monopoly hold on every instrument of power in the land to thwart and frustrate such efforts.

What needs to be appreciated is that a sizeable proportion of Zanu members are as much victims of the system they created as those totally crushed by its negative impact. No human being is devoid of a sense of shame, not even those in Zanu. No one can be completely at peace with a system of governance which has spawned so much division, inequality, unbridled use of force and led in many cases to wanton murder and genocide. The wide midriff girths exhibited by many in Zanu are not a consequence of people at peace with themselves, rather a result of too much fat gone to waist as they plunder the riches of our country.Here are individuals riding on the back of a tiger and living in abject fear of dismounting.This they know well and realise that the country knows too. The realization of this by true seekers after lasting peace may hold the key to unlocking a solution for Zimbabwe.

The removal agenda relies on an untenable premise that everyone in Zanu is a devil with horns and all in opposition are ringed with halos from head to foot. Far from it!

There is no homogeneity in any of the political formations in Zimbabwe, either in government or in opposition. There are saints and devils in all parties almost in equal measure. Do I have objective evidence for this? Absolutely! I was presented with a report compiled by 49 legislators from one European country that had aligned itself to one opposition movement. After pouring vast quantities of funds into that opposition formation as their contribution towards democracy, the government of that country decided to send the group of 49 on a fact finding mission. They were astounded by the evidence they uncovered which led to conclusion as I have stated above.

To me it comes as no surprise at all that some erstwhile implacable opponents to the Zanu regime are reassessing their links with Zimbabwe and making placatory gestures about re-engagement with the present party in government.

What about a coalition targeting the second stated aim, the transfer of power to the masses? Hmm, thought provoking! Could it be that the erstwhile sworn political opponents, the "no quarter given" pugilists have become punch drunk, seen the light and decided to work for the betterment of all in our country?Could this be the dawn that we have all been waiting for? Has the time arrived when the fate of the weak is addressed and the downtrodden are set free?

The vision of freedom that ZAPU espouses allows me to dream so. But dream it is. To quote from the words of the very author of the malaise that befell our country: "zvirotozviroto." All one needs do is to survey the political landscape and assess the main actors. Where are our political giants of the Mandelasque stature who are totally untouched by personal ambition and greed but willing to sacrifice all for the common good? Which leader can Zimbabwe point to who is motivated solely by ushering in real freedom in Zimbabwe and not by consolidating his/her grip on power? The questions are not rhetorical at all, nor do I pretend to have ready answers but am earnestly imploring my fellow country men and women to look around. The saying: "so in opposition, so in government" is oh so true.

Remember the lyrics of the beautiful Temptations song: "Ball of confusion (that's what the world is today)", which has the line: "Vote for me and I will set you free" Fiddlesticks! Zimbabweans have to wise up. Do we really have political formations capable of looking beyond one thing only, the acquisition of power and maximising personal advantage?

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts! It is the liberators who grabbed independence in 1980 who have turned out to be anything but liberators. They grabbed the prize of independence alright but only for themselves.

When will we ever learn? One thing is for certain, to build any semblance of trust in any of our leaders, we must start by banishing belief in what they say and scrutinize more what they do. I loved the clever satirical episodes play-acted by the late Safirio Madzikatire. For those with long memories, do you recall the "adiwaadiwa" perfidy sketch of a guy sent to chat up a girl for a friend? Sorry born-frees. You missed out. The episodes were as entertaining as they were educational. Such, unfortunately is the predominant trait in our Zimbabwean political landscape.

Coalition of whom?
Of equal importance is the elusive information about who really is to be considered worthy of inclusion in the grand scheme. Are there to be threshold requirements? With the Zimbabwean penchant for forming parties might we find even one man bands be included in negotiations?

Information time! I am told that the West African dish of Jollof rice has a base essentially of rice and as many hot spices as one can find. Thereafter, anything may be thrown in, tripe, any edible animal innards, you name it, it can be found there. Such is the variation in concoctions that no such Jollof dish resembles another, tasty though all are! I offer apologies to West African friends if my information is incorrect.

The same non-descript recipe was at one time attached to what was termed mild beer. A cheap alcoholic drink for the impoverished students, this comprised of spillages from branded alcoholic drinks dispensed from brand named pumps. Quite conceivably a considerable component was ordinary water used to wash the beer containers.

It is no over statement to claim that such is the concoction of parties and civil associations which could be called upon to determine our future. Looked upon from this angle the one objective change of regime agenda can be exposed as quite absurd. One could liken the grand coalition to an assembly of all other teams in a football league in order to bring down a dominant team. Once that objective is achieved, if ever, then what?

My view on coalitions.
I am not against coalitions per se; in fact there is much to commend them. The best coalitions, of course are those carved out at local levels, maturely agreed upon to achieve clearly stated objectives and based on an understanding that we are stronger together. To a large extent individual party formations can be seen as coalitions, bringing together disparate interests and homing on what unites.

Whole countrywide, coalitions can be carved out by political parties but only after the will and preferences of the electorate have been tested by way of a plebiscite. Then each party would select its key policies to be used in bargaining, the size of its say in any part of the country determined by the mandate gained in the election. Protection of minority voices would be assured by embracing a devolved system of government leading to differing priorities in different locations.

An attempt to carve out a coalition outside a framework of a post-election landscape becomes an exercise in futility, a way to hoodwink the electorate and secure jobs for the boys in leadership positions at the time. It would be akin to playing poker without the minimum stake. For some parties, it would be the surest route to extinction, the pigs in bacon sandwiches.