The British are coming to kneel before us, Cdes

Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members

COMRADES, read this: "A delegation from United Kingdom will visit Zimbabwe next (this) week to help the country implement the economic blueprint, the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation (Zim-Asset).

"The British Embassy on Friday said the theme of the mission was, 'Applying UK expertise in project finance, infrastructure and development to support the implementation of Zim-Asset.' The delegates will meet with senior members of the Zimbabwean government, parastatals, captains of industry, international donors and British businesses already trading in Zimbabwe. Trade and investment is vital for Zimbabwe's development. We want to strengthen business links and to show our commitment, we are sending a Trade Mission," British Ambassador to Zimbabwe Catriona Laing said.

Cdes, laugh if you cannot help it, because you are not dreaming, as this is the reality obtaining on the ground! Didn't I tell you Cdes that we will beat the British hands down and they will one day come to kneel before us? You thought I was getting senile, but here we are, witnessing it happening during my lifetime! This sudden about-turn does not come as a surprise at all to some of us. It is a clear admission by London that all their regime change efforts have failed dismally.

After watching us gleefully signing multi-billion dollar deals with the Chinese and the Russians, the British - remember they have the detailed results of surveys done on this country's mineral wealth - realised that they risked being locked out for good. That explains why they are coming to us with tails down, while salivating in gluttonous lust. After we chased them away in 1980, they did not go far away, but remained lurking in the background, hoping to make us their neo-colony. After this failed, they thought regime change would allow them to install a puppet government here so that they could continue looting our resources, but sadly, vakanyangira yaona.

It is because of our country's mineral resources that we had to take up the gun and fight for our independence when other countries on the continent got theirs on the proverbial silver platter. Like hungry vultures, these people will not go away because they know what this country is really worth. When we deal with them -that is what we really have to - we have to be really cautious. Like they say, to sup with the devil you need a long spoon. We really need a very, very long spoon in the case of these British.

Those of you who read and follow our history will have come across something like this: "…the Nixon administration (in America), despite its previous support for UN sanctions against Rhodesia, endorsed the Byrd Amendment exempting chrome from the embargo. The Byrd Amendment - named for its author, Senator Harry F Byrd, Jr of Virginia - was a 1971 amendment to the US Federal Strategic and Critical Materials Stock Piling Act. It created an exception in the United States embargo of Rhodesia regarding chrome ore, the main alternative source for which was the Soviet Union. Rhodesia, run by a mostly white minority government, was unrecognised internationally and under a United Nations trade boycott following its 1965 Unilateral Declaration of Independence from Britain. The Byrd Amendment, despite breaching UN sanctions, was passed by the United States Congress because of Cold War considerations. It was declared a violation of international law by Diggs v. Schultz in 1972, but was not repealed until 1977, when newly elected President Jimmy Carter successfully pushed Congress to do so."

If you continue reading, you will also find this: "Simultaneously, there had been new discoveries of chromite and nickel deposits in Rhodesia… Some of those engaged in sanctions busting abided too literally by the dictum that one must set a crook to catch a crook.

"…Greeks and Jews were more than ready to set up dummy companies and disguise the Rhodesian origins or destination of certain goods; and Russians plied their ships in and out of Mozambican ports to load Rhodesian chromite. There is no better example of the international cynicism which helped Rhodesians defeat sanctions than the competition between the two super-powers to acquire Rhodesian's high-grade chromite, despite the fact that both Russia and America had voted in the UN for mandatory sanctions against Rhodesia. You should bear in mind that all this was happening way before the recent "discovery" of platinum and diamonds in this country. Now there is talk of possible oil deposits around the Zambezi escarpment. I hope you noted the existence of the "US Federal Strategic and Critical Materials Stock Piling Act".

It should sum up everything about western interests in a country endowed with so much mineral resources as ours.
That is why I always emphasise that as a nation, we need to walk with our back firmly to the wall and sleep with one eye wide open.

Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME

 

…And CZ's Notebook

Summons
Dr CZ is so pleased that his former revolutionary party is summoning Zimbabweans to do their patriotic duty by generously contributing to its fund-raising efforts at a dinner taking place in the capital this week. Knowing how popular the party really is, it is not at all surprising that a table of 10 people (platinum) is going for only US$100 000 while a gold one is going for just US$50 000. Silver tables are going for a mere US$30 000 while bronze ones, at US$10 000, are as good as free. To show that it is not an elitist party, ordinary people - the povo like you and me - can simply walk in and pay a measly US$300 at the door, which is better than nothing

Remember we are talking of a party that has over the past 34 years economically empowered these same Zimbabweans with reckless abandon, beyond the dream of the legendary Croesus! Only the lazy and ungrateful have been trying to unfairly accuse this very same party that broke them free from the choking yoke of colonialism of committing extortion in broad daylight.

These same killjoys have been trying (thankfully without success!) to discourage businesses from responding to the party's invitation to tender for the supply of various goods and services for the upcoming multi-million dollar December congress, swearing that the party is notorious for not paying for any goods and or services delivered. You and me know for sure that there is no smidgen of truth in these tendentious allegations!

Change
This week, gun crime cost South Africa's national team, Bafana Bafana, its captain, Senzo Meyiwa, whom criminals gunned down on Sunday evening. This is really sad. May his soul rest in eternal peace. Of all the people and organisations that have been queuing up to pay homage to the late Orlando Pirates goal-minder, it was our own moribund Zimbabwe Football Association (ZIFA).

"ZIFA is saddened by the death of Orlando Pirates and South Africa's captain, Senzo Meyiwa, a goalkeeper who had been impressive for his country and club whenever his services were required. We join our sister association, the South African Football Association, Orlando Pirates football club, the Meyiwa family and the international football family in this difficult time of coming to terms with this sudden loss. May his soul rest in peace."

Dr CZ has been a Zimbabwean for as long as he can remember and there have been several dozens of soccer players (including many who played for the national team, the Worriers - sorry Warriors!) who have died, but we haven't heard the so-called national soccer mother body mourning them, not that it is compulsory. Anyway, things really do change.

Just asking!
Now that divorce looks definitely certain for sungura musician Alick Macheso's daughter Sharon, who wedded her long-time boyfriend Kudakwashe Munetsi barely eight weeks ago one CZ fan had one naughty question: "So in their seven years of dating, Sharon Macheso didn't know that Kuda Munetsi takes "bronco" and other drugs, and Kuda didn't know that Sharon gets possessed and gets violent and likes clubbing?"

Good one!
Little girl is at home. Then her father calls.
"Hello?" Hi honey. This is daddy. Is Mommy close to the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul?"
"Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now."
Brief pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later, the girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he did not know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
Then daddy says, "swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?"
"No, it is not. It is 486-5713"
Sorry, wrong number!"

cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk