Listen to me all ye Zanu-PF stalwarts, 'Stop dis-Gracing Joice'

PLEASE listen to me all ye Zanu-PF stalwarts. There is a difference between being clever and being wise. I know by saying what I am saying now, you will not want me to step my foot on Zimbabwean soil again. But the truth is the truth; I am compelled by conscience to speak out.

Please do not disgrace Mai Joice Mujuru. I am a ZIPRA and have been all my life. I carry no brief from Mai Mujuru or her cohorts. Mai Mujuru may be guilty of all the things you accuse her of, but I have issues with the scenario. First, it's the economy, stupid! Any businessman seeing the Vice President dragged into the mud, will want to keep clear of the country. Instability comes from a sense of insecurity. What I am witnessing creates a sense of insecurity.

I have written of international companies which make arrangements for quick getaway when they work in unstable economies. Such companies will drain the country as quickly as possible in order to recoup their investments before a storm engulfs them, so they think. That is argument number one.

The accusations against Mai Mujuru remain accusations until a judge says she is guilty. When will our people learn that no one is guilty until a judge says so? There are reasons for that. Opponents exaggerate accusations, and these accusations may turn up to be trumped up charges if witnesses are cross examined by clever lawyers. There is usually an ancillary argument in such cases. In order to know such things, usually, a mole within Mai Mujuru's camp will have given the evidence. Such a mole may have been promised a reward and therefore is prone to making up stories.

I do not in any way defend Mai Mujuru. I am saying that for the sake of the country, be gentle, be gracious to the supreme sister. We are not a wicked people. Since when have Zimbabweans become vultures, eating each other's carrion in public?
But I am not finished with you brothers and sisters. How would you like it if somebody you shared and broke bread with yesterday, turned up and gave witness against you?

This is Bishop Tutu's argument. Tutu says that when you break bread with a brother (or sister) you assume a holy fellowship. You do not imagine that the very next day, that brother will turn up and witness against you in order to see much harm come to you. "But I ate bread with this brother only yesterday," Bishop Tutu lectured us. The point is that you all have broken bread with Sister Joice; it is unAfrican to betray a sister with whom you have broken bread.

There are many accusations that can be brought against the supreme sister. The white farmer whose farm they (and the husband) took says that 427 cattle were not paid for. I have a pamphlet before me attributed to the white farmer. Any fair person will say that it is unfair to bring this up when her husband cannot answer for himself. Any clever lawyer will have a feast at the remains of the accuser.

But the more important issue is the one brought by Jesus before the Samaritan woman. Which brother will cast the first stone? My assessment, after having been away from the country for three years, was that very few people can make ends meet lawfully. I was going to the airport when we were stopped by police. The kombi driver did not have more than US$20 in his pocket. Passengers paid 50 cents per ride, and there were 12 passengers. The police fined him US$32. I assumed that this US$32 fine was a negotiating target because the police agreed to let the driver go after he had paid US$25.

I gave the kombi driver a US$20 bill. If I had missed my plane, I would have lost a ticket worth US$2 000. That is how life is in Zimbabwe. Is there any man or woman among the sister's accusers who lives honestly? The amount of corruption in Zimbabwe is horrendous. There was a pastor, driving a kombi clearly labelled Holiness Church, who was charging passengers for a ride. How does a woman secretary who earns US$300 per month, who has not been paid for the last six months still come to work?

I have no brief from the supreme sister. All I am saying is that you are all sinners, whether you admit it or not. I have unearthed the Zimbabwe African National Union Ethics Agreement, passed at Gweru in 1983. Here are two provisions. It says that Zanu-PF is a socialist party and that no person in a leadership position shall engage in a business whose sole aim is profiteering. Another clause says that no person in a leadership position shall own land more than 50 acres, whose sole purpose is self-beneficiation. Read your own rules you sluggards! Which one of you can pass this test?

I cannot resist this one. The rule book says that no leader shall dress sloppily and thus put the party into disrepute, nor shall a leader be engaged in sexual promiscuity. What then is to be done? Whenever you bring such person, as a Vice President to a public disgrace, the whole body politic is affected and associated with the rottenness which the one being punished is accused of. Such accusations should be dealt with privately, and if the Council of Elders finds that egregious errors have been committed, the person thus charged shall feign some sickness, resign with some dignity and disappear into the wilderness.

My great mentor at The Sunday Mail, Willie Musarurwa, always emphasized that remember that one day you may be judged by the same law that you passed. Therefore, always be gracious to the vanquished. I have said my piece. God bless Zimbabwe.