Mboko or Mphoko?

When l hear the term 'Mboko', am quickly retold of the Bodyslam riddim big tune by the little but heavy machine Zim-Dance Hall artist, Ras Pomp. In his popular 2014 track - 'Gear N0.1', he coiled the popular ghetto youth jingle 'Mboko', for facetious slurring each other especially when one displays that he lacks wily ways of doing things.  To these ghetto youth, 'Mboko' simply means someone who is foolish, gullible and lacks tricks for living among the clever ones and is slow to learn how things are done in town. The ghetto youth in all urban centers are so crafty! They know how to take advantage of the 'Mboko' characters by using them and dumping them in disarray. I once lived this ghetto lifestyle and l can best define what it means to call someone, 'Mboko'.

Most people will remember what transpired on 20th of November at Mataga Growth Point when the increasingly influential tongue-lashing First-Lady, Grace Mugabe was throwing yet another heart-winning rally. The acting ZANU-PF Midlands Province chairman, Cde Kizito Chivamba called the honorable vice-president Phelekezela Mphoko, 'Mboko' when he was given time to introduce dignitaries. When Mphoko went to the podium to speak, he publicly rebuked Kizito Chivamba for the 'Mboko' slur. At the end the vice-president was ejected out of the VIP tent and left before the rally ends after a sharp rebuke from Grace, for attempting to discipline cadres publicly. Though it sounded like it was a slip of the tongue, one may not be condemned if he/she concludes that this was a well calculated slur with a meaning behind.

To exonerate Kizito Chivamba and anyone who might think so, you might want to know some facts about this gigantic vice-president called Mphoko. Mphoko is proving that he is a self-style 'Mboko' and l will tell you why? He was controversially appointed by Mugabe to be vice-president of Zimbabwe ahead of the senior comrades of ZAPU like Tsinga Dube, Ambrose Mutinhiri and so on. The reason why the crooked Bob handpicked him, was just but to make him his puppet to reach out to the Ndebele tribe under the pretext of Unity Accord. The appointment was not objective at all!
Soon after his appointment, he started singing for his own supper uttering provocative statements to those who suffered the brunt of the Gukurahundi massacre - his own Ndebele community. In the pleasure of the new job, Mphoko said Gukurahundi was never a making of Robert Mugabe regime, BUT a 'Whiteman Conspiracy'. This unthinkable orate is mockery and tantamount to brainwashing the Ndebele people from the truth that is recorded in the annals of history, that it is Robert Mugabe and his 5th Brigade mafia that butchered the innocent civilians in Matebeleland region.

It is a blatant truth that Mphoko have close relatives that were also killed in this merciless massacre, yet he stood announcing that it was a 'Whiteman Conspiracy'. If we may ask Mphoko; the Korea trained 5th Brigade soldiers who conducted the genocide, were they whites? The leaders in this operation that included the then Security minister, Emerson Munangagwa and Perence Shiri, were they whites? The government by that time, was is it staffed with whites? This propaganda of shifting the blame to the whites always, is an old Mugabe`s scheme of brainwashing civilians, when he fails to account for his own mess. Instead of advocating for the compensations of Gukurahundi victims, Mphoko is showing the 'Mboko' behavior by shunning his own people and denying them the truth they know. He is being used by Bob as the face of Unity Accord and by the G40 in the succession matrix and yet to be dumped, but he can`t see that coming.

On one of the whirl-wind nation-wide tours by Grace Mugabe in Chimanimani, this goliathic vice-president embarrassed himself on camera when he said Grace Mugabe was senior to him hence can introduce her. It was like pants down in front of his mother-in-law, like a man caught disemboweling his stool in the blanket, when they switched him off the microphone and rushed off the stage by Kasukuwere-his junior in rank!

Which measure was he using to come to that remark? Obvious this was just bubbling to please his boss – Mugabe. Grace is not a government official, not even a mere civil servant hence she cannot be senior to the person of vice-president. At party level, according to ZANU-PF constitution, Grace is far junior to the vice-presidents of the party and must report to them. Sitting next to the president at state functions and in politburo meetings doesn't virtually make Grace a senior cadre. Neither voluble nor gorgeousness makes one senior. The first lady is just an entertainer of the president, lest Mphoko doesn't know or don't read the constitution. Even president Mugabe himself when opening his usual state speeches he never included Grace in observing protocol. Talking about age, Grace can be the first daughter of Mphoko. Turning to experience, the first lady has just about a year in politics and has no niceties of government operations. So where is Mphoko getting all this hogwash? Ostensibly, this is just a misguided attention-seeking mantra much alike to the 'Mboko' habits and style!  

Amazingly, the same Mphoko is a blessing in disguise to Zimbabwe. He thought by staying in the uptown hotel, for a year by now spending USD$700 per night, he is going to make the country suffer by his bill. Unfortunately he invited trouble for himself, tarnished his image and his standing in a country that has a paltry $4 billion fiscus. This VP has no remorse for the masses who are struggling to make ends meet. More than USD$250000, has being wasted for only one couple who think they are coming from heaven and can never be accommodated in the Sunshine City.  

Even after demonstrations picketing, he can`t hear the public outcry, but busy listening to his beauty queen message that, "No, no daddy, the house offered by government is too small for us, meanwhile lets have more Wine here and more Whisky". What a big mansion can be built from $250000 that has wasted by now?

Mphoko was embarrassed more when he was ejected from the presidential suite to open way for the visiting Chinese president Xi, but he still hangs on. We don't need to know where he was staying before, but if he wanted to win the hearts of the citizens, he would choose to pay rentals for himself in any of the suburbs around Harare since he is wealthy businessman. Even Jesus Christ, who was rich from the beginning, he was born in manger, the most despised place in Israel for him to win the hearts and the lost poor souls? So what so special about Mphoko and his wife?

I know if Mugabe didn't want to take Mphoko`s stay in Rainbow Tower hotel as an indirect bribe, he would have instructed him to vacate. However, his prolonged stay is an enticement for Mphoko to sing and dance to Mugabe`s anthem.

Holding all things constant and having scrutinized the unpopular Mphoko, it doesn't demand any rebuke for Kizito Chivamba for calling him 'Mboko'. His actions and utterances shows that the puppet VP is not thinking like a gentleman who deserves respect. Nothing he has done for Zimbabwe so far to separate him from the description of 'Mboko', like how Ras Pomp and the ghetto youth put it across. He still has a lot to prove whether he is real Mphoko or Mboko!

Godwin Tshetu Mupakairi - A Computer Scientist and Political Commentator based in Johannesburg, South Africa
goddietshetu@gmail.com or goddietshetu@yahoo.com