Opinion / Columnist
Infidelity wrecking marriages
17 Jan 2016 at 09:14hrs | Views
LOCAL Christian leaders say it is puzzling to note that the majority of Zimbabweans are Christians who understand the need to safeguard the marriage institution yet divorce cases continue to soar.
Infidelity, abuse and failure to access counselling have been cited as the major contributing factors to the break-down of most families.
At the end of last year, a local marriage counselling firm – Family of Hope Trust – conducted a countrywide survey and asserted that the majority of people who were going through divorce understood Christian values.
The analysis indicated that more than 5 000 marriages were collapsing annually and the trend was on the rise.
According to figures from the High Court, more than 1 000 couples approached the court for divorce between January and December last year.
The figures exclude marriage breakdowns that have been reported in the Civil Court and those couples that part ways without going on record.
"The rate at which people are divorcing is very alarming, especially considering that more than 70 percent of Zimbabweans are Christians," said Anglican Church of the province of Central Africa Archbishop Chad Gandiya.
"God, the creator of humanity and of marriage itself, has laid out His plan for marriage as a lifelong union. He knew this design is the best.
"Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is alarming mainly because of lack of counselling, which is leading to infidelity and in some cases abuse.
"Many Christians see nothing wrong with divorce, at least in their own particular situation, but the Bible clearly addresses marriage and divorce.
"Through the prophets, God emphasized three principles of this holy union – marriage is sacred, God hates divorce and marriage is designed to produce children of good character."
Archbishop Gandiya said Jesus underscores the importance and sacredness of lifelong marriage in His teachings.
He said Apostle Paul further taught that the marital relationship is to be an ongoing demonstration of the sacrificial love that Christ showed His church.
Pastor Irvine Murefu of God's Power Ministries International concurred with Archbishop Gandiya before quoting the scripture that says; "Another thing you do, you flood the Lord's altar with tears.
"You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.
"You ask why? It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
"Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His."
Seventh Day Adventist national executive secretary, Pastor Enoch Chifamba said divorce problems would persist until people go back to the biblical foundation of marriage.
He said marriage, for many, is no longer a happy institution.
Pastor Chifamba said the only way to restore marriage to its original state of bliss is through understanding that God says divorce is not the answer.
"I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel…" Malachi 2:16," Pastor Chifamba said.
A Harare based lawyer, Miss Vimbai Muzambi said, "Divorce is tearing apart the foundation of societies.
She, however, admitted that while most people believed in biblical values, sometimes it is necessary for people to separate.
"Sometimes, it is unavoidable. For example, the law states that if one spouse files for divorce, the other cannot stop it from occurring."
However, Pastor Levi Mahemu of Body of Christ Ministries said there are sections in the Bible that allows divorce.
"Many Christians disagree about whether the Bible allows divorce or re-marriage.
"If one is concerned about whether he or she has biblical grounds for divorce, one needs to commit the matter to prayer and study," Pastor Mahemu said.
"But it is important to also seek counsel.
"When one's mate is guilty of sexual immorality and is reluctant to repent and live faithfully in the marriage, one can opt out and the Bible supports that.
"Jesus' words in Matthew 19 verses 8 to 9 indicate that divorce and re-marriage in this circumstance is acceptable," he added.
Pastor Mahemu said with God everything is possible, adding that he had witnessed couples rebuilding their marriages even after devastating blows. He said couples simply have to turn to the Lord.
Internationally recognized Christian author and psychologist, Dr James Dobson also stressed that divorce and re-marriage is justified in Scripture but only in few instances.
"Christians should carefully pray about divorce decisions and be open to God's leading. God heals marriages," he said.
"If your spouse is the one seeking divorce, you may not be able to stop him or her through current divorce laws.
"However, you can try to persuade your spouse to consider a legal separation first, which would give you both more time to consider the issue."
Christian leaders appealed to couples to turn to the Lord to safeguard the marriage institution.
Infidelity, abuse and failure to access counselling have been cited as the major contributing factors to the break-down of most families.
At the end of last year, a local marriage counselling firm – Family of Hope Trust – conducted a countrywide survey and asserted that the majority of people who were going through divorce understood Christian values.
The analysis indicated that more than 5 000 marriages were collapsing annually and the trend was on the rise.
According to figures from the High Court, more than 1 000 couples approached the court for divorce between January and December last year.
The figures exclude marriage breakdowns that have been reported in the Civil Court and those couples that part ways without going on record.
"The rate at which people are divorcing is very alarming, especially considering that more than 70 percent of Zimbabweans are Christians," said Anglican Church of the province of Central Africa Archbishop Chad Gandiya.
"God, the creator of humanity and of marriage itself, has laid out His plan for marriage as a lifelong union. He knew this design is the best.
"Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is alarming mainly because of lack of counselling, which is leading to infidelity and in some cases abuse.
"Many Christians see nothing wrong with divorce, at least in their own particular situation, but the Bible clearly addresses marriage and divorce.
"Through the prophets, God emphasized three principles of this holy union – marriage is sacred, God hates divorce and marriage is designed to produce children of good character."
Archbishop Gandiya said Jesus underscores the importance and sacredness of lifelong marriage in His teachings.
He said Apostle Paul further taught that the marital relationship is to be an ongoing demonstration of the sacrificial love that Christ showed His church.
Pastor Irvine Murefu of God's Power Ministries International concurred with Archbishop Gandiya before quoting the scripture that says; "Another thing you do, you flood the Lord's altar with tears.
"You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.
"You ask why? It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
"Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His."
Seventh Day Adventist national executive secretary, Pastor Enoch Chifamba said divorce problems would persist until people go back to the biblical foundation of marriage.
He said marriage, for many, is no longer a happy institution.
Pastor Chifamba said the only way to restore marriage to its original state of bliss is through understanding that God says divorce is not the answer.
"I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel…" Malachi 2:16," Pastor Chifamba said.
A Harare based lawyer, Miss Vimbai Muzambi said, "Divorce is tearing apart the foundation of societies.
She, however, admitted that while most people believed in biblical values, sometimes it is necessary for people to separate.
"Sometimes, it is unavoidable. For example, the law states that if one spouse files for divorce, the other cannot stop it from occurring."
However, Pastor Levi Mahemu of Body of Christ Ministries said there are sections in the Bible that allows divorce.
"Many Christians disagree about whether the Bible allows divorce or re-marriage.
"If one is concerned about whether he or she has biblical grounds for divorce, one needs to commit the matter to prayer and study," Pastor Mahemu said.
"But it is important to also seek counsel.
"When one's mate is guilty of sexual immorality and is reluctant to repent and live faithfully in the marriage, one can opt out and the Bible supports that.
"Jesus' words in Matthew 19 verses 8 to 9 indicate that divorce and re-marriage in this circumstance is acceptable," he added.
Pastor Mahemu said with God everything is possible, adding that he had witnessed couples rebuilding their marriages even after devastating blows. He said couples simply have to turn to the Lord.
Internationally recognized Christian author and psychologist, Dr James Dobson also stressed that divorce and re-marriage is justified in Scripture but only in few instances.
"Christians should carefully pray about divorce decisions and be open to God's leading. God heals marriages," he said.
"If your spouse is the one seeking divorce, you may not be able to stop him or her through current divorce laws.
"However, you can try to persuade your spouse to consider a legal separation first, which would give you both more time to consider the issue."
Christian leaders appealed to couples to turn to the Lord to safeguard the marriage institution.
Source - sundaymail
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