Screaming headlines won't win polls

Recent trends in some sections of the media have served to confirm the lack of depth and quality in the country's opposition parties. It can be argued that this misfortune has even led to the ruling party, ZANU-PF, becoming somewhat complacent due to the lack of a worthy opponent.

Instead of providing a checks and balance service to Government and coming up with credible alternatives that can improve citizens' lives, opposition parties are content to be fed the lie that ZANU-PF can be dislodged through sensational front page headlines in a section of the media that has often been referred to as the lunatic fringe. Indeed, shallow opposition parties' spokespersons appear to have embraced the role of authenticating wishy-washy speculations and daydreams of a particular media house.

For over a year now, Zimbabweans have been promised by the lunatic fringe that "body bags" and "anarchy" were coming forth from ZANU-PF as early as yesterday. Not surprisingly, this has not come to pass as ZANU-PF continues to march on, in the same manner, as some have put it, as an elephant would walk past barking dogs. As expected from that section of the media, the fact that most of its prophecies of doom have not come to pass has not deterred it from continuing to feed Zimbabweans and opposition leaders the lie that ZANU-PF will soon implode.

Headlines such as "Bloodbath in Zanu-PF", "Zanu-PF on brink of collapse", "Zanu-PF bigwigs want Mugabe out" and "Zanu-PF on way down" betray an increasing sense of desperation amongst that section of the media and its opposition backers, if not paymasters. It is admittedly difficult to establish which is the puppet, the lunatic fringe or gullible opposition party officials.

Who is the greater imbecile, one who repeats the same lies day in and day out despite being caught out on the lie, or the one who supports those same lies and adds their voice to them day in and day out?

It has become rather amusing, if not pitiable, to hear characters like Obert Gutu dutifully reading from his script of how his party is the "biggest opposition party", blah blah blah. Ask the man any question, from economic issues to the latest English Premier League log standings and he does not deviate from this script.

On the off chance that he is asked to comment on issues not dictated by the lunatic fringe, Gutu exposes himself as a more of a SpokesParrot used to sticking to one script all year round. Such was the case, when he recently came out guns blazing claiming that images that appeared in the media of MDC-T leader Morgan Tsvangirai merrymaking with ladies at a Gweru resort had been photoshopped.

One wonders if Gutu fully grasped the depth of his foolishness when only a few hours later, his boss, Tsvangirai, emphatically stated that the pictures were genuine. To give the devil his due, Gutu's counterpart and Tsvangirai's spokesperson, Luke Tamborinyoka, appears to be a bit wiser. He at least, creates his own fantasies and folktales and does not wait to be called on to authenticate wishful thinking generated from some poor journalist's desk at the behest of an editor whose palms have been oiled by Zanu-PF's detractors.

The People's Democratic Party (PDP) spokesperson, Jacob Mafume, is not to be outdone and also seizes the opportunity offered to him by the lunatic fringe to demonstrate his penchant for cartoons and his weakness of being prone to flights of hallucination. The closet-Peter Pan is in his element, attacking President Robert Mugabe and Zanu-PF in response to the daily lies. If he used that same zeal to espouse his party's ideology and HOPE, ARREST, DREAM or whatever other "blueprints" the PDP might come up with, then that party would not be faring so dismally.

What these opposition parties need to keep in mind, lest they waste their meagre finances bribing media houses, is that elections are won through the ballot box, via sound people-oriented policies, not in the newspapers.

History has shown repeatedly that to rely on the media's account of how Zimbabweans view Zanu-PF is akin to believing a false prophet and tithing all your earthly possessions while the sneaky prophet laughs at your gullibility and squanders your riches.

One recalls the frenzy and hype that the infamous Baba Jukwa once created ahead of the 2013 elections. It has been said that some were even practising swearing-in speeches on the strength of Baba Jukwa's posts. As laughable as it might be, it's saddening that the so-called opposition in the country has unashamedly reduced itself to fantasy-buttressing puppets of the lunatic fringe.

The media should also be encouraged to go back to the basics, that of educating, informing and entertaining, not spreading bribe-inspired untruths. The media has a very pivotal watchdog role that sadly, it is not exploring, much to the prejudice of Zimbabwean citizens.