Opinion / Columnist
Why Eddie Cross's 'Mugabe dead' mind therapy should happen every week
07 Sep 2016 at 17:11hrs | Views
Life needs some specialised tools to counter some stresses which could cause stroke, dementia or death. Some people drink beer to try and forget stressful situations. Some go to church and listen to the message of hope which tells us not to worry much about Worldly things since we are travellers in this World. Some people remove life stresses by reading Science books to learn about the Universe and all its components which give hope that when we die, there is more than one place to go in Gods' multiverse.
In Zimbabwe, poverty makes it impossible for people to watch documentaries about the Universe on You-Tube. Poverty has become so high that people can't buy beer. Church has become a reserve for the rich since one needs to have eaten something in order to get the energy to go to Church.
Waking up in the morning and reading the news the "Mugabe is dead" is the most effective stress injection for millions of Zimbabweans. Very religiously faithful people get rejuvenated mentally in reading the speculative news that "Mugabe is Dead". The reason for this is because we all have tried everything legally acceptable to remove Mugabe, but, his cunning nature has overridden every avenue. Mugabe will not cede power alive because of the Gukurahundi sins he committed with Mnangagwa in the 80s. His only exit will be death.
The level of poverty and stress in Zimbabwe as a result of continued Mugabe rule is now beyond the record. Zimbabweans are dying of stress every day waking up every morning in a country run by a failing leader for 36 years. People have wished Mugabe dead as long ago as 1984.
To wake up reading the news that Mugabe is dead is the only news Zimbabweans can serve money to buy. Whether it is true or not, people are willing to buy weekly, a paper that reads in bold "Mugabe Died Last Night". Very few Zimbabweans will not buy such a newspaper even if it were published weekly. This is because the news of Mugabe's death have become medicinal in a country where there is no medicine. People with amputated legs were dancing and celebrating for two days when Eddie Cross wrote his "Mugabe dead" article. It was one of the most hilarious articles which the impoverished Nation vitally needs every week.
Anyone who wants to make money must try to write a weekly paper with "Mugabe died of Brain Haemorrhage this morning" I will personally pay money every week for such a paper depending on the creativity of the composer. That creativity is medicinal.
How many people would not buy a paper saying, "Mugabe was killed by angry protesters the Gadhafi way"? If such speculation can be Scientifically proven to be mind medicine or placebo, why should we not cure our stressed country that way until Mugabe is really dead so that our hospitals can function again?
----------
Venus Mlalazi <venusmlalazi@yahoo.co.uk>
Source - Venus Mlalazi
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
