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Opinion / Columnist

Don't worry about that Malema boy, Cdes

by CZ
02 Feb 2017 at 06:22hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members

COMRADES, I am back in office, after a well-deserved rest … I really enjoyed my vacation. Were it not for the pressing demands of my thankless job, I would have extended my vacation by another fortnight … by which time I am sure the devil's agents that wish me ill would have taken their usual speculation into overdrive.

Just barely hours after arriving, I had to leave for an important regional meeting … that should give you a fair appreciation of how busy some of us can sometimes be. Yet our detractors do not see all this.

I did not get what this Julius Malema boy actually said about us, but I am told that you Cdes managed to put him in his right place. I am very impressed.

However, my only worry is that when you behave in the rabid way that I am reliably informed most of you went out of your way to, then it gives the wrong impression that the person towards whom all the anger is directed is someone who matters, when in fact they are merely a piddling nobody.

What do you do when you are bathing in a river and a mad man grabs your clothes and flees? Do you chase him while you are stark naked? I think that is what could have happened in this case.

As far as I am concerned, Malema is just a little fly that poses no harm to anyone. By behaving the way you did Cdes - which is not different from attacking a fly with a sledgehammer - he got more attention than he was seeking and he felt very important, and most likely, he is going to repeat it over and over again. But if you had just ignored him out of existence, without the oxygen of publicity that you inadvertently gave him, he would have realised how unimportant he really is and the mischief would have ended there. Cdes, you need to be more tactful when you are dealing with people who have nothing to lose.

Anyway, I am very pleased with the hard work that most of you are doing for the party. You need to keep it up.

Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely


Last week, Dr CZ feared that a war could erupt between our very own Zanu-PF and the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) of South Africa following some uncharitable remarks that Julius Malema made about Zimbabwe. You never saw such a ruction … everyone who thought they matter in the ruling party and government joined the long and winding queue of those that were ready to excoriate - if not castrate - Malema.

Observing the whole drama from a safe distance, Dr CZ's humble observation was that what appeared to have pained our Zanu-PF mandarins most was being labelled "cowards". In their ranting, the Zanu-PF leadership tried to portray Malema as a madman who is just out to interfere in the affairs of another country for no apparent reason.

From Dr CZ's little understanding, what gives Malema and every other normal South African the automatic right to talk about political matters in Zimbabwean is the three million-plus Zimbabweans political and economic refugees in their own country who are putting needless pressure on their social safety net.

There is certainly a limit beyond which any good neighbour ceases to mind his or her own business… especially in the face of a dangerously irresponsible neighbour!

Sometime ago, Dr CZ subscribed to the mailing list of this United Kingdom-based global research think-tank. Since then, he has been receiving what he considered authoritative information on a number of countries, of course Zimbabwe included. Late last year, while he was going through one of the think-tanks' reports on Zimbabwe, he discovered that on a number of times the report referred to the legacy of apartheid blah, blah, which is when he realised that to the armchair "experts" that had put together this report - which was being sold for up to US$1 800 a copy - South Africa is one and the same as southern Africa, and Zimbabwe fits somewhere in there.

Dr CZ was reminded of this by the results of a recent survey of the Zimbabwe All Media Products Survey (ZAMPS) that confidently showed some newspapers that closed more than two years ago as having had their readership reduced by different margins in the last quarter of 2016! Don't ask Dr CZ on which planet this so-called research was conducted because he also doesn't know. What Dr CZ knows with certainty is that he knows fraud when he sees one!

Well-managed coincidence
Dr CZ is not confirming anything here serve to confirm that indeed accidents of coincidence do happen. The latest one is the one in which one Augustine Mombeshora, who happens to be the biological father to Lands and Rural Resettlement Minister, Cde Douglas Mombeshora, is now a proud chief after some land was curved out for him "by the government" somewhere in Chikomba district to make him one of the brand new "traditional" chiefs in Zimbabwe. What more can one ask for in an independent Zimbabwe?

While we were all still awed by the Mombeshora clan's good fortune, the devil was up to his usual mischief… Cde Douglas' villa in the leafy Borrowdale suburb here in Harare got flooded as the incessant rains continued to mercilessly pound the capital… and an investigation by the local authority revealed that most of the victims were people who had settled themselves in areas that were not ideal for residential developments. We are in no way suggesting that the good minister - whom Dr CZ and all other well-meaning Zimbos should be busy commiserating with - allocated himself that piece of land!

That Zimbabwe is fast becoming a primitive country simply because it runs on primitive politics is something that we all know. However, what makes the whole thing so sad are concerted efforts by Zimbabweans to pretend that they don't know this very basic fact.

The rains that have been pouring… and you need to hear Zimbos cursing the municipalities for doing nothing about the roads, litter and everything else that normal local authorities ought to be concerned with. They conveniently pretend not to know that just three years ago, on the eve of the harmonised elections, the Zanu-PF government ordered all local authorities and other utility providers to write off all bills that were outstanding… and these same Zimbos celebrated their tails off, and went on to vote overwhelming for the short-term benefits.

As of last year, information reaching Dr CZ was to the effect that the City of Harare alone was being owed more than US$500 million by ratepayers… what is very clear is that these same Zimbos, who, during the war of liberation, were promised free things in an independent Zimbabwe and are getting used to a lifestyle of freebies, are waiting for another election to arrive so that the debts can be wiped off again. It is very easy to see Harare's arrears snowballing to more than US$1 billion by 2018… money owed to Rowan Martin by residents getting services and not paying for them and yet expecting to get not just more, but the service to actually improve! Talk of eating one's cake and having it! Only Jesus of Nazareth could perform such miracles!

There is no worse idiocy than this!

We notice that Sulumani Chimbetu has decided to become the entertainer-in-chief at Zanu-PF gatherings… the sages say a fly that does not take advice will follow the corpse into the grave… if Sulumani's father, the late Simon, was still alive, he would have told his son how his marriage to the revolutionary party resulted in his downfall. For Sulu, that sound advice is not dead and buried together with Simon, Andy Brown and other dead musicians… there are other musicians like Last "Tambaoga" Chiyangwa and Dickson "Cde Chinx" Chingaira who can tell the youthful musician the cost of going against the grain. Let him not say he was never warned!

Truth about life
Another one from Dr CZ's fans. It goes like this:

When we die, our money remains in the bank, yet, when we are alive, we don't have enough money to spend. In reality, when we are gone, there is still a lot of money not spent. One business tycoon in China passed away. His widow was left with US$1,9 billion in the bank, and she married his chauffeur. His chauffeur said: "All the while, I thought I was working for my boss… it is only now, that I realise that my boss was all the time, working for me!" The cruel reality is: It is more important to live longer than to have more wealth so we must strive to have a strong and healthy body, it really doesn't matter who is working for who.

In a high-end hand phone, 70 percent of the functions are useless! For an expensive car, 70 percent of the speed and gadgets are not used or not needed. If you own a luxurious villa or mansion, 70 percent of the space is usually not used or occupied. How about your wardrobes of clothes? Chances are that more than 70 percent of them are never worn! A whole life of work and earning…70 percent is for other people to spend.

So, we must diligently protect and make full use of our 30 percent. Go for medical check-ups even if not sick. Drink more water, even if not thirsty. Learn to let go, even if faced with grave problems. Endeavour to give in, even if you are in the right.

Remain humble, even if you are very rich and powerful. Learn to be contented, even if you are not rich. Exercise your mind and body, even if you are very busy.

Make time for people you care about!

Source - fingaz
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