Opinion / Columnist
This and that with Maluphosa:- Mistakes are common
04 Feb 2011 at 20:00hrs | Views
Heard about the 'Youth Leaders' who were beaten up by police officers last week? Well, firstly I would love to know who they lead, and also who chose them? I believe people came to South Africa for different reasons and on their accord. There are no leaders among border jumpers. So who appoints leaders in the bush and to whom do they account? I would never have anyone from Zimbabwe tell me what to do because I came here alone, nge dabul'up. Anyone who wants to lead should go back home where there is a leadership crisis. As usual Godlwayo was there when it all happened. He says these Shona guys were selling vegetables and shouting 'Marago! Marago! instead of 'Morogo morogo.' Well, my crippled Sotho tells me marago means buttocks.
Not that you can't sell that in Johannesburg. Here you can sell anything from amathumbu enkukhu to amakhovula enja. But you should not shout lest the police hear you and demand spot bribe. Those stabanes who sell a-marago do it quietly and know where to go to sell them. Gays and lesbians, even though they have matrimonial rights, still do it in private. They are targeted now and then. Most people still think these people are' worse than dogs and pigs', to quote indlovu kay'phikiswa yase Africa. Of course, there are worse things than selling marago; like children recording videos of themselves committing 'personality'. This is a word coined by Sqhezema. He says doing it with a beast is 'bestiality'; therefore with a person it must be 'personality'. I'm talking about grade five pupils. Yes, they have a right to do anything they want. And they can get away with anything no-matter how evil. So these youth leaders were beaten for nothing, really, like they say. But, also, ladies of the night here shout 'Nkukhu! Nkukhu!' when they solicit. Well, they do this at night. So those of you guys who buy, when you hear ladies shout this way, they are not advertising KFC.
Dee says Godlwayo is telling half truths. He says these guys were actually beaten by police, but for what, he does not know. And he says these guys should thank their stars because they were not beaten by the ever-so-zealous orobayi back home. The damage would have warranted plastic surgery if they had survived the grave! I agree with him on this one. Orobayi were not trained in policing but in bashing people's heads and ribs. Dee says if there was such a game at the Olympics, Zimbabwe would zadza madura with medals. Anyone who doesn't agree must be a patriot. And there are so many of them now. Siza maintains that the least these leaders would have lost at the hands orobayi would be their lives.
But, mistakes are common, Freud teaches us. A slip-up happens; my class was supposed to write an essay entitled 'An explosion in a public area.' she missed out 'L' of public. I believe this could not be explained in terms of brother Freud since my student referred to this area throughout the essay, yet out of context. At the back of her mind lingered that word without L, may be because they had been discussing this area before the teacher came in. Scary. Or it could have happened because the student, like these 'leaders', could not tell the difference between the two words? Still, half the class did not know what was meant by the area that the little girl had referred to. And still, I practically twisted her arms until she squirmed like a struggling piglet.
Yes, she couldn't hide her arms, like the arms that were discovered in the month of January across South Africa. Here, congratulations are in order - to the police and the government or ruling party if you like. The police for discovering the caches and the later for handling the matter so maturely I even wished I was a South African. If these had been discovered else-where in Africa, leaders of COPE, Inkatha, DA, and the rest of the opposition parties would have been hauled before the courts, of course, after being bashed, and sentenced not only by the biased press, but by illiterate ruling party hooligans bussed from some inaccessible poverty stricken and arid rural areas who don't care a whiff about who owns a gun or a farm. These would obviously be waving placards written; 'Away with Blair and Bush.' Or 'This Republic will never be a colony Again.' Or even 'One vote good, Two votes Better.' There would also be an international terrorist bearing witness to the meetings held to eliminate Zuma, and a few disoriented youths pleading guilty to under-going military training else-where in Africa, in order to topple the elected government. And some bald calabash headed minister of some obscure ministry would celebrate the country's intelligence for apprehending 'terrorists and saboteurs bent on causing alarm and despondency, and trying to forcefully remove a legitimate government of the people.'
The court case would drag on and on until every-one loses interest. And then, to pretend to show some semblance of rule of law, the suspects would be found 'not guilty', and the demonstrators would each get a plate of isitshwala with kapenta. Wow! But still people would have been shown on Television unconvincing video footages of inaudible and indiscernible voices of Zille and the international terrorist discussing the 'elimination of the president'. Africa is a land of dark intentions and darker deeds, yet she refuses to be called 'The dark continent'. She deserves the death sentence.
I gather Zimbabwe has been without a Hangman for almost a decade now. Where are all the jobless Magwazas and Ngwazis? Nansi'spano magenga! It's a salaried job. You don't even have to tell us where you work and what your job entails. Imali yimali; it doesn't matter ukuthi uyisebenze njani. Siza says she can take that job provided she will be able to choose who to kill because she already has a very long list of the 'Wanted, Alive.' She also proposes using izembe for the whole long list, not the rope. She is not happy too, that once the criminal survives the rope once or twice they are pardoned. She says among those in her list no-one deserves to be pardoned. She will have to 'cut' rocks with the axe before executing the whole list.
I remember reading a story about a serial killer who had fortunately died before being brought to court. When his docket was finally brought to court, he was given a posthumous death sentence! 'Die again', was the confusing headline.
Cases of my homeboys from Tsholotsho, who kill their wives or mothers for cooking umfushwa instead of meat, or from Maswingo, who murder their grandmothers for cooking a-magenga instead of their favourite gundwane, should attract the 'Die Again' sentence. And they should not be pardoned no matter how many times they survive the rope. When they kill, they stab, bludgeon, trounce, strangle, wring, pound, pestle, hack, wrench or shoot the victim repeatedly, until the victim dies. So they also deserve no mercy. But our leaders deserve all the mercy there is in the universe. How can anyone in their right mind ask people to choose amongst an array of choices, only to tell them they chose wrongly? First to be publicly known was the illegitimate president of Kenya. He set a very wrong precedent, or had someone else done so before him? I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone after him thinks the winner must be second in command. Examples are plenty for anyone who cares to look. Each one of them wants to beat Moses' record of forty years as a leader of the Israelites for forty years! But then polls were unknown. Come on. I'll ask Siza to put you on her list. Izembe liyeza.
Source - Byo24News
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