Latest News Editor's Choice


Opinion / Columnist

Deaths on black women on the rise in Germany; how many deaths will it take until we know that too many women have died?

01 Jul 2019 at 07:09hrs | Views
The cold-blood murders of black women in Germany are not German men as such but African men. Bremen-North is plunged into a shock, the newspapers are filled with a recent event of a mother murdered by her partner; she leaves behind her four children and the youngest is four years old. This woman was a single parent who lived with a partner who was not the father of her children. When he stabbed her to death he had nothing to lose anymore. If that woman did not meet his demands she had to die, he constantly demanded money from her: when she resisted he killed her cold-blood in the presence of her children.

We have said it again and again that this match-making of men-woman relationship is lethal to women. It is inconceivable that a single woman with four children of that tender age should still dream of a relationship with a stranger in a foreign land: Germany. In Africa, women do get some advice and assistance from family support structures; they will advise and will tell you that you are messing up your life with such a man in the home: A man who is more of a liability in the relationship than value-adding is not worth it. Again sometimes even in Africa women will not see this advice as advice per se, but she will think you are envious of her relationship with the chosen men-friend.

In this particular case in Bremen-North where I live, this woman is in the mortuary right now and her remains wait air-freighting to her country of birth. Her death did not shock only the German population, but all of us black women community living in Bremen. Commenting on this without judgement whatsoever, we women should do better if we have responsibilities regarding children. Men who do not work but think that a woman will be the provider: this kind of attitude is out of the realms of good senses. How does a woman accept such arrangements, to go and work leaving a man at home who is not even the father of the children? Are the children safe with him? Black men in Germany or in the Diaspora, some of them do not want to work.

This particular case this woman did cleaning jobs in hospitals and hotels to make ends meet; hard jobs to do, the man demanded sex to make her pregnant so that he get child benefits and she can stay permanently in Germany. She could not comprehend yet another pregnancy because of the hard job she was doing. Again she could not give her partner the money he demanded from her, she did not have the money he demanded. Only then did it dawn on her that she was in an abuse relationship. She was regularly beaten by her partner and on this day she was stabbed to death. Some black men in the Diaspora are irresponsible towards women, they are cruel towards women, they are brutal towards women, and they are even murderous towards women. Before the woman died their case was a police one: it means the man realized that he could be deported back to his homeland: he could not stand the idea that a woman who came on his ticket would still remain in Germany after his deportation. He purposely beat her, stabbed her in the presence of the children; she died of stab wounds.

Reading the Zimbabwe social media almost every day, femicide in Zimbabwe is very common. The life of a woman is not worth anything anymore. Some of the deaths border on money issues in most cases. A black woman has not learnt to say no to the demands of unscrupulous black men. We are easily cheated and deceived in these partnerships. In some cases men target women with girl-children: daughters so that they can sexually abuse step daughters. These are numerous cases we read in our newspapers most of the time and we women do not learn from these life threatening stories that can even lead to death in some situations.  

How do we women trust strange men with our bodies with all the deadly diseases that are sexually transmitted today? How do you trust a mere friend who match-makes you with a stranger: a man you don't know and you agree to live with him and share those intimacies with a stranger, what about the off spring, your children, wholly depended on the mother to provide for them? Have we ever gone through the eventually of what that stranger could do; is the man abusive, why did he leave his wife, is he is mentally stable, why is he in a position to accept four children of my former partnerships? All these questions should go through a woman's mind that has responsibly of children and this woman is the sole breadwinner of the children.

Now that this mother is dead, this man is in jail: where are the children? Those are the children who witnessed their mother butchered to dead by a callous and devilish man; evil intentions. How are their lives going to be without a mother? We do write these articles not for fun. We write them so that women especially young women learn from this. Femicide is prevalent globally, but in some cases it could be avoided if we women thought their situations through. If you are a single woman learn to sacrifice for the children who look up to us as the sole providers. We must learn to stand up to our culture that denigrates us because we have become single mothers. The alternative to single motherhood could be disastrous to our girl-children first and to ourselves ofcourse.

Usually the society is not kind to single mothers in our societies, the pressure they put on us is just unreasonable and cruel at the same time. Single women are pushed and pressured to doing things to please the family or correct the "mistakes" of getting children out of wedlock. On the other hand, men do think that a single woman with a child or with children is desperate. They impart in us single women that, you are no longer a whole human being but some sexually used up woman. They will tell you that they are doing you a favour to marry or co-habit with them.

Men do target women in the Diaspora because they think they are well resourced. It's all about money, money and money that these men do not have but demand it on unsuspecting women: At the same time they do not want to work. Can we women wake up and smell the coffee? How many deaths will it take until we know that too many women have died?  

But for a man to get a child out of wedlock is appraised and is a good sign of real manhood. A man can have several relationships concurrently and it will be appraised and entertained. In these relationships men can reproduce children parallel to the reproduction at his matrimonial home it will be appraised and entertained. A woman, who decides to have a child and single is already a whore, will be deemed less than a man. These are issues we women must correct by all means. There is no one out there who is going to fight for our rights but ourselves. We must learn to give value to our bodies. Inviting a stranger for holidays from home to Europe is by any stretch of our imagination a liberated woman; it is putting our precious lives on the line: HIV is still not curable. To behave as if such lethal diseases do not exist is what put many women in danger globally.

This sad event that happened in here in Bremen makes me think about my own situation whereby, a supposedly friend, a match-maker introduced me to a stranger, some Professor from NUST not so long ago. It was the same case-scenario; money. I was target because I was in Germany and therefore had money. It's all about money all the time and women have to prove that they have cash even to look after a jobless man at homes. These are men who cannot support themselves any more but will pry on unsuspecting women to provide for them. He asked for money, I was supposed to send money; a monthly sum of 300 Euros a month to a man: a stranger. I was supposed to buy him a ticket to Germany. I was supposed to offer touristic to Germany: the list is long of the demands he made. To fulfil those demands would have meant that I have qualified to be a good woman and that I am singleness was going nullified and lift my status from a desperado to a whole wife. It was enough if some friend knows him, some relative of him. It turned out that this man was very abusive to me before we could see me personally. I am lucky in the sense that I can smell abuse from very far.
 
 When I asked this friend who did the match-making, if she knew the Professor very well: she said she did not know the Professor well. In this case in Bremen North, the woman who did the match-make the two: the deceased woman with the murderer said the same: she did not know the man well, but the friend is now dead, leaving four children behind her. If for argument sake I trusted this friend and married her supposed uncle Professor I will dead by now. The man is abusive to women generally; he kept his girlfriend while outsourcing yet another woman whom he thought was more resourceful than his current woman he stayed with. Women are disposables in the sense of the word.
I am not writing this article for fun. If I send some warning to those few women who will read this article, I will be pleased indeed. Let's look after our bodies, do not trust anyone even friends, women-friends can mislead and destroy lives too. Please do not be victims of situations you could easily avoid. Let's put our children first, a man will not appreciate your children of your past relationships, don't get cheated. It is deceit of the highest order to think that a man can be caring to non-biological children of a relationship . Ask yourself one question: I tsitsi dzei hombarume; kubvisa kamwana ke Mvana madziwa: Now literal application and not adage. 


Shipping vehicles from UK to Zimbabwe for less
Source - Nomazulu Thata
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

Subscribe

Email: