Opinion / Columnist
This and that with Mal'phosa: No, South Africa can never be another Zimbabwe
13 Oct 2022 at 08:46hrs | Views
Finally, load 'shredding' is over, for now. Well, my workmate calls it so. She is a modern day Malaprop and does not care whether words she uses are appropriate or not.
'This morning police comprehended two suspects at Bree Taxi rank.' She means apprehended.
'My friend eats crabs and crushed Asians (crustaceans).' 'My affluence (influence) over the events is very small. I don't want to change jobs; they say a rolling stone gathers no moths.' And, when she spoke about the Kzn most recent floods, 'It was so bad they had to evaporate the city.' And, about monsters, she says her dad used to tell her these were the pigment of her futile imagination'!
But, of course, many believe there is a real power crisis in South Africa, especially the voters. Those in the know, say it's all sabotage: it is an excuse for government to sell off the so-called non-performing entities to private buyers. The money will help replenish government coffins (coffers), which were depleted during the last Presidential election. One opposition leader actually says even South African Airways is for sale.
The load shedding had become so bad it was difficult to plan anything that involves electricity. Those of us who depend on internet shops to do some work were doomed. In the middle of the story, boom! Or just before you save, gone!
It was even scary going to the barber. You might come out there looking like inyoni yezulu, half shaven, embarrassed.
And many Zimbabweans were whispering audibly, 'This country is going to be another Zimbabwe soon.' They were saying. 'These xenophobic morons were laughing at us. Now, sizabona bazabalekelaphi bona.'
South Africa can never be another Zimbabwe. Any country can have load shedding if it has underestimated the energy requirement of its economy. Ghana, Botswana, Belgium, India - are some of the countries that have experienced power outages recently, and they did not turn into Zimbabwe. Some countries meet their problems head-on, instead of looking for scapegoats and creating lies about non-existent sunctions.
Secondly, in South Africa every citizen has a voice - from the delirious, hydrophibic, filthy, glue sniffing and K20 guzzling hobo, to the president himself. 'UMbeki uyasjwayela,' this is what the hobos say when the city goes dark. They are not aware Mbeki is nolonger the President. And, what use is electricity to them, in any case. But still, they have a voice. Ngikhuluma nje, they are doing something about load shedding, like they do with all problems they are facing. Zimbabwe will let things veer out of control until they crash. Roads, medical services, politics, education system, currency - are all in the grave yard.
In Zimbabwe, only one person speaks and acts. Loba singajabulanga, we go about our daily business as if everything is ok. As if we have food, medicines, electricity, water, roads, freedom.
A lot of workers here are having a field day. 'I will be late in the office, we have no electricity in our mkhukhu.' When they say this, expect to see them the following day or week, whatever comes first.
The national elections are a few months from today. And the President has been given conditions if he wants to be endorsed for a second term; 'But Ramaphosa must not think he is getting a free pass by being endorsed for a second term,' Panyaza warned, 'because it comes with terms and conditions.' What?
In Zimbabwe, we just endorse, unconditionally. Whether somebody has been doing well or not, we just endorse, and they continue to bastardize us. Listen to this; 'President, we are humbled by the way you are handling yourself. We are humbled that even when the enemy is throwing things at you, you humble yourself and co-operate with everyone, and for that we believe you must lead us.' This is Panyaza, still. Now, class, re-write this paragraph in the Zimbabwean context.
This is why South Africa can never be another Zimbabwe. Citizens put their heads together for a common cause. They hold their leaders accountable. They demand answers. They toyi toyi till someone listens.
When last did you attend a proper toyi toyi in Zimbabwe - I mean, a proper, serious and determined march with war cries and revolutionary songs that denounce leaders, with burning tires and rocks and mobile toilets blocking roads, and police nonchalently keeping an eye on you, or accompanying you? Such a situation is 'the pigment of our futile imagination.' Unganyenyeza nje, Khami or Chikurubi.
Yeah, baphi labana abaka Mthwakazi ababotshwa two months ago? They have been threatened, and arrested. Base Chikuribi, where uhulumende wamakhiwa wayevalela khona abalweli benkululeko during the 60s and 70s. Very appropriate because labo balwela yona inkululeko. But they have been labelled a bunch of tribalistic criminals. The President says he wants to destroy the cessationist movement by locking up its leaders.
'I have written to you several times raising questions about your conduct - - - against myself, my party members and Mthwakazi people at large.' Thus, Mqondisi Moyo!
Ian Smith locked up nationalist movement leaders; but did Zapu and Zanu die?
Ngiyabonga mina!
Mal'phosa.
'This morning police comprehended two suspects at Bree Taxi rank.' She means apprehended.
'My friend eats crabs and crushed Asians (crustaceans).' 'My affluence (influence) over the events is very small. I don't want to change jobs; they say a rolling stone gathers no moths.' And, when she spoke about the Kzn most recent floods, 'It was so bad they had to evaporate the city.' And, about monsters, she says her dad used to tell her these were the pigment of her futile imagination'!
But, of course, many believe there is a real power crisis in South Africa, especially the voters. Those in the know, say it's all sabotage: it is an excuse for government to sell off the so-called non-performing entities to private buyers. The money will help replenish government coffins (coffers), which were depleted during the last Presidential election. One opposition leader actually says even South African Airways is for sale.
The load shedding had become so bad it was difficult to plan anything that involves electricity. Those of us who depend on internet shops to do some work were doomed. In the middle of the story, boom! Or just before you save, gone!
It was even scary going to the barber. You might come out there looking like inyoni yezulu, half shaven, embarrassed.
And many Zimbabweans were whispering audibly, 'This country is going to be another Zimbabwe soon.' They were saying. 'These xenophobic morons were laughing at us. Now, sizabona bazabalekelaphi bona.'
South Africa can never be another Zimbabwe. Any country can have load shedding if it has underestimated the energy requirement of its economy. Ghana, Botswana, Belgium, India - are some of the countries that have experienced power outages recently, and they did not turn into Zimbabwe. Some countries meet their problems head-on, instead of looking for scapegoats and creating lies about non-existent sunctions.
In Zimbabwe, only one person speaks and acts. Loba singajabulanga, we go about our daily business as if everything is ok. As if we have food, medicines, electricity, water, roads, freedom.
A lot of workers here are having a field day. 'I will be late in the office, we have no electricity in our mkhukhu.' When they say this, expect to see them the following day or week, whatever comes first.
The national elections are a few months from today. And the President has been given conditions if he wants to be endorsed for a second term; 'But Ramaphosa must not think he is getting a free pass by being endorsed for a second term,' Panyaza warned, 'because it comes with terms and conditions.' What?
In Zimbabwe, we just endorse, unconditionally. Whether somebody has been doing well or not, we just endorse, and they continue to bastardize us. Listen to this; 'President, we are humbled by the way you are handling yourself. We are humbled that even when the enemy is throwing things at you, you humble yourself and co-operate with everyone, and for that we believe you must lead us.' This is Panyaza, still. Now, class, re-write this paragraph in the Zimbabwean context.
This is why South Africa can never be another Zimbabwe. Citizens put their heads together for a common cause. They hold their leaders accountable. They demand answers. They toyi toyi till someone listens.
When last did you attend a proper toyi toyi in Zimbabwe - I mean, a proper, serious and determined march with war cries and revolutionary songs that denounce leaders, with burning tires and rocks and mobile toilets blocking roads, and police nonchalently keeping an eye on you, or accompanying you? Such a situation is 'the pigment of our futile imagination.' Unganyenyeza nje, Khami or Chikurubi.
Yeah, baphi labana abaka Mthwakazi ababotshwa two months ago? They have been threatened, and arrested. Base Chikuribi, where uhulumende wamakhiwa wayevalela khona abalweli benkululeko during the 60s and 70s. Very appropriate because labo balwela yona inkululeko. But they have been labelled a bunch of tribalistic criminals. The President says he wants to destroy the cessationist movement by locking up its leaders.
'I have written to you several times raising questions about your conduct - - - against myself, my party members and Mthwakazi people at large.' Thus, Mqondisi Moyo!
Ian Smith locked up nationalist movement leaders; but did Zapu and Zanu die?
Ngiyabonga mina!
Mal'phosa.
Source - Clerk Ndlovu
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