ZANU PF's self-indulgent deceit

It all started with primary elections when some candidates garnered more votes than voters. Cardboard boxes and bond paper replaced ballots. In the process, votes multiplied as if they were roosters laying eggs. This self-indulgent deceit continued all the way to the "grand launch".

Taking this deception a notch up, was state media. They told us "hundreds of thousands" of supporters attended ZANU PF election launch. Such bizarre exaggeration is not only desperate but stupid. Not long ago, we were a nation of trillions and quintillions. We know our numbers very well.

Ominously, Dr Casino, the architect of infinite numbers, better known as Gonomics, received some accolades at the poorly attended launch. Sensing gross embarrassment, Webster Shamu had to re-jig the program several times while trying to bus and kombi more people into the venue so that Gushungo would not find more empty places than human beings. Nevertheless, even those who constantly need the services of Asian-based eye specialists saw that something was terribly wrong.

Despite Shamu's concerted effort, by the time the master arrived, the venue still did not have any number comparable to what was seen on January 27 1980 when liberators were welcomed home. Not even 10,000. A far cry from what MDC pulled just a few weeks ago, in the very same venue. Then came the mix-up of dates and names by the key speaker. Quite understandable given that elders, at such an advanced age, often confuse names even of their own children. It won't be surprising if Chatunga and Tsvangirai were sometimes used interchangeably in the first family. What more of Tsvarai! It is just one product of advanced age never to be laughed at.

Elevating sycophancy and numerical lunacy to another level, the same journalists reported that the MDC launch was held in a 5,000 seater venue, referring to Rudhaka stadium. There was no further qualification of the statement. In their shallow minds, they think Zimbabweans are so gullible as to blindly conclude that ZANU PF attracted hundreds of thousands while MDC only managed a paltry 5,000 or less. Unfortunately for them, everybody knows that Marondera was painted red on Sunday.

Gone are the days when state media was the sole source of information (or is it disinformation). One can't help but feel sorry for the few journalists who still have a semblance of conscience but have to endure the pain of writing untruths everyday. They couldn't even show any photo from Rudhaka.

By way of simple extrapolation; if a stadium seats 5,000 people, the same stadium gets filled to capacity with thousands sitting on the pitch while multitudes follow the proceedings on their feet with several perched on trees, poles and on top of buses, what figure might this be? Pleasing the master with blue lies is not only disrespectful but malicious. Ooops, I almost said treasonous!

Dichotomy of agenda is now a lot clearer from the two manifestos. MDC-T lucidly articulated their vision for the future, broken down into long and short-term strategies. A 100-day plan anchored by a five-year strategy demonstrates a party ready to govern. Rural transformation and employment creation as well as institutional transformation are at the epicentre of the program.

Conversely, ZANU PF proved that they are indeed a party of the past when they remained stuck in the rhetoric of land reform as if they are oblivious to the fact that land is a finite resource. If anything, most of the ordinary beneficiaries were dumped onto non-arable land only fit for game with "chefs" taking the best lots. Probably their vision is to turn us into a nation of hunters! Instead of the master using the launch to swing votes, he squandered the opportunity attacking Sadc and "an ordinary street woman" – another typical example of old age.

Meanwhile, Arthur Mutambara is advised that Nyagura has prepared the contract. Tich Masaya is ready with induction and onboarding material. Start date is 1st August 2013. Dzinonzi "Poltiks" - RIP Dr Mzee.
 
Moses Chamboko writes in his personal capacity. He can be contacted at chambokom@gmail.com