Opinion / Columnist
Feeling sorry for the poor haters, Cdes?
26 Feb 2015 at 09:25hrs | Views
CABINET FILES AND CZ's NOTEBOOK
Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members
COMRADES, I know there are people out there who hate with passion and lie fluently, but the British steal the show. And it looks like British Conservative politician, Boris Johnson, who is currently the mayor of London, hopes - like many others before him - to build his political career from hauling insults at me. Writing recently on my upcoming birthday in The Telegraph of the UK, this is what the fellow had to say:"It promises to be an event of truly spectacular moral ugliness. While his people are starving, President Mugabe will convoke 20 000 cronies at a kind of golf club-cum-safari lodge near the Victoria Falls. In scenes reminiscent of the more disgusting and luxurious behaviour of the emperor Commodus, he will cause various exotic beasts to be slaughtered for the feast.
"Five impalas will be roasted, two sables, two buffaloes - and then, to the ululations of his supporters, there will be a series of culinary climaxes, each more revolting than the last. A local farmer has procured two elephants, and after these rare and majestic creatures have been butchered there will be one more type of meat to come - an animal that you might think was semi-sacred, whose killing should be taboo, a creature that people would never normally dream of eating. Yes, a lion, the king of the animal kingdom, will lay down its life."
Lies! Bloody lies! And to think there could be people out there who might actually believe this tosh is frightening!
Now just read this: "Zimbabwe is now the second poorest nation on earth - beaten only by Congo for overall grimness. The people are so badly malnourished that one in three children is physically stunted. If you go there you see the ravages of HIV and Aids, the emaciated figures standing listlessly on street corners. Companies are constantly going to the wall…"
These people are writing fiction from the comfort of their offices in some western capitals as facts. We are now eating even lions here! I now believe it that madness truly knows no boundary!
It looks like most of these people are angry, not from what I have been doing or failing to do, but from the mere fact that I have turned 91 years, an ripe age that many of them would not be able to live to, let alone reach in the fairly pristine shape like the one I am … this is the primary source of their anger. Well, the sad fact of life remains that even if in their foolish anger they can go and bash their heads against trees and walls, nothing will change the fact that God and my people are firmly behind me.
They always claim that I spend millions on my birthday parties while millions of my people are starving… if you ask those shameless liars to show you graves of people who died from hunger in this country, they will not be able to show you even just one!
The same British and their American cousins spend billions, if not trillions, on barbaric wars around the world, but who has ever tried to lecture them on how that money can change the lives of many people impoverished by their imperialist policies around the world?
The same applies to Morgan, who quickly joined his masters in demanding that my birthday be scrapped and the money be used to buy medical supplies for public hospitals, blah, blah! A foolish frog! When he was in government where he wheedled over US$3 million of public funds purportedly to refurbish a mansion for his own comfort, did he not know that there are hospitals and clinics without enough medical supplies out there? Yet in my own case, every cent that we would be spending is coming from donations from well-wishers, not from State coffers.
Well, they can say and write anything they want about me, but that will not change anything… instead, I would advise them to gird for more heartburn, because there will be many more of these birthday bashes coming in the future… and our people will enjoy and enjoy. Who are they to tell our people how to enjoy themselves?
Anyway, closer to home, it looks like the cleaning in the party is now in its penultimate stages… we have been able to show in a practical way that the people indeed mean business when they say no one is above the party.
As you are all aware, the latest casualties are the totemless Didymus and his equally totemless nephew, this Temba boy. The two were finally booted from the party last week… it was long overdue. They were becoming a real nuisance to the party and the people decided to take action.
And that other mujibha, who by stroke of luck, had escaped the last round of dismissals from government, finally joined his colleagues in the wrong basket that he has always chosen to be. Things should be workable from now on… I know we are going to have by-elections here and there, but I do not see the party suffering the embarrassment of losing any of the seats it currently holds. That is unthinkable.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND NOW TO THE NOTEBOOK
History
In the run-up to the June 2000 elections, there was a notorious war veteran called Cde Biggie Chitoro who unleashed a wave of untold violence in and around the Mberengwa area. In Cde Biggie Chitoro's hands a number of people lost their lives in the most painful of ways. Nothing was going to happen to him until he decided to be tired of life and died a natural death last year. The man Cde Biggie Chitoro was campaigning for in the Mberengwa East constituency in that watershed election was none other than Cde Rugare Gumbo who was pitted against his liberation war-time colleague Sekai Holland (nee Hove) who was standing for the then nascent opposition, the Movement for Democratic Change. It was good when Cde Gumbo was the beneficiary of this lawlessness. Now he is crying tears of blood because he finds himself on the receiving side. Considering his background of having spent years languishing in some pits in Mozambique during the war, we would have expected Cde Gumbo to know better how to treat other human beings. That was never the case! Sadly.
Finally!
This week we finally woke up to the news that Cde Shuvai Mahofa had been appointed the minister of State for Masvingo province, a position from which Cde Kudakwashe Bhasikiti, of the wrong basket barb, had been fired.
It looks like Cde Mahofa is finally arriving… she is landing her first fully-fledged post for the first time since independence at a ripe age of 74 years! We remember Cde Mahofa dancing until she collapsed and fainted at the party's controversial December congress. We are not in any way suggesting that she could be reaping the benefits of her exceptional hard work. Our congratulations are in order!
No, thanks!
So all plans are at an advanced stage for the first group of people to take the one-way trip to Mars, where they hope to be the first people to inhabit the red planet?
Recent media reports indicated that a group of 100 people, carefully selected from over 200 000 applications, are readying to beat the self-imposed 2024 deadline, by which it is hoped human life should start flourishing on Mars.
So under this project called Mars One, a multinational team of ambitious and daredevil "astronauts" shall be embarking on the 320 million-plus kilometre one-way journey to Mars, a distance that would take over eight months to cover, for which so far there is no technology to enable them to make a return trip.
There are lots of things that Dr CZ hankers for, and this is certainly not one of them. Imagine him leaving this country and missing all the colourful characters that make it a truly blessed country that it is?
And them missing all the good (and also bad) things that make life both enjoyable and endurable, as we know it to be? All those things, suddenly having to live without them. All in the name of adventure? Never! Ever! Dr CZ read it somewhere that poverty, if accepted and lived positively, can be a wonderful adventure on its own… a unique experience that the rich and powerful will never, ever even hope to sample. Dr CZ thinks it is better for him to be content with what he already have (and also have not), than to venture into the unknown.
Hopefully those who are going on project Mars One would be able to communicate with us, so that - unlike with our dead - we can get regular updates of what would be taking place there.
------------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members
COMRADES, I know there are people out there who hate with passion and lie fluently, but the British steal the show. And it looks like British Conservative politician, Boris Johnson, who is currently the mayor of London, hopes - like many others before him - to build his political career from hauling insults at me. Writing recently on my upcoming birthday in The Telegraph of the UK, this is what the fellow had to say:"It promises to be an event of truly spectacular moral ugliness. While his people are starving, President Mugabe will convoke 20 000 cronies at a kind of golf club-cum-safari lodge near the Victoria Falls. In scenes reminiscent of the more disgusting and luxurious behaviour of the emperor Commodus, he will cause various exotic beasts to be slaughtered for the feast.
"Five impalas will be roasted, two sables, two buffaloes - and then, to the ululations of his supporters, there will be a series of culinary climaxes, each more revolting than the last. A local farmer has procured two elephants, and after these rare and majestic creatures have been butchered there will be one more type of meat to come - an animal that you might think was semi-sacred, whose killing should be taboo, a creature that people would never normally dream of eating. Yes, a lion, the king of the animal kingdom, will lay down its life."
Lies! Bloody lies! And to think there could be people out there who might actually believe this tosh is frightening!
Now just read this: "Zimbabwe is now the second poorest nation on earth - beaten only by Congo for overall grimness. The people are so badly malnourished that one in three children is physically stunted. If you go there you see the ravages of HIV and Aids, the emaciated figures standing listlessly on street corners. Companies are constantly going to the wall…"
These people are writing fiction from the comfort of their offices in some western capitals as facts. We are now eating even lions here! I now believe it that madness truly knows no boundary!
It looks like most of these people are angry, not from what I have been doing or failing to do, but from the mere fact that I have turned 91 years, an ripe age that many of them would not be able to live to, let alone reach in the fairly pristine shape like the one I am … this is the primary source of their anger. Well, the sad fact of life remains that even if in their foolish anger they can go and bash their heads against trees and walls, nothing will change the fact that God and my people are firmly behind me.
They always claim that I spend millions on my birthday parties while millions of my people are starving… if you ask those shameless liars to show you graves of people who died from hunger in this country, they will not be able to show you even just one!
The same British and their American cousins spend billions, if not trillions, on barbaric wars around the world, but who has ever tried to lecture them on how that money can change the lives of many people impoverished by their imperialist policies around the world?
The same applies to Morgan, who quickly joined his masters in demanding that my birthday be scrapped and the money be used to buy medical supplies for public hospitals, blah, blah! A foolish frog! When he was in government where he wheedled over US$3 million of public funds purportedly to refurbish a mansion for his own comfort, did he not know that there are hospitals and clinics without enough medical supplies out there? Yet in my own case, every cent that we would be spending is coming from donations from well-wishers, not from State coffers.
Well, they can say and write anything they want about me, but that will not change anything… instead, I would advise them to gird for more heartburn, because there will be many more of these birthday bashes coming in the future… and our people will enjoy and enjoy. Who are they to tell our people how to enjoy themselves?
Anyway, closer to home, it looks like the cleaning in the party is now in its penultimate stages… we have been able to show in a practical way that the people indeed mean business when they say no one is above the party.
As you are all aware, the latest casualties are the totemless Didymus and his equally totemless nephew, this Temba boy. The two were finally booted from the party last week… it was long overdue. They were becoming a real nuisance to the party and the people decided to take action.
And that other mujibha, who by stroke of luck, had escaped the last round of dismissals from government, finally joined his colleagues in the wrong basket that he has always chosen to be. Things should be workable from now on… I know we are going to have by-elections here and there, but I do not see the party suffering the embarrassment of losing any of the seats it currently holds. That is unthinkable.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND NOW TO THE NOTEBOOK
History
In the run-up to the June 2000 elections, there was a notorious war veteran called Cde Biggie Chitoro who unleashed a wave of untold violence in and around the Mberengwa area. In Cde Biggie Chitoro's hands a number of people lost their lives in the most painful of ways. Nothing was going to happen to him until he decided to be tired of life and died a natural death last year. The man Cde Biggie Chitoro was campaigning for in the Mberengwa East constituency in that watershed election was none other than Cde Rugare Gumbo who was pitted against his liberation war-time colleague Sekai Holland (nee Hove) who was standing for the then nascent opposition, the Movement for Democratic Change. It was good when Cde Gumbo was the beneficiary of this lawlessness. Now he is crying tears of blood because he finds himself on the receiving side. Considering his background of having spent years languishing in some pits in Mozambique during the war, we would have expected Cde Gumbo to know better how to treat other human beings. That was never the case! Sadly.
Finally!
This week we finally woke up to the news that Cde Shuvai Mahofa had been appointed the minister of State for Masvingo province, a position from which Cde Kudakwashe Bhasikiti, of the wrong basket barb, had been fired.
It looks like Cde Mahofa is finally arriving… she is landing her first fully-fledged post for the first time since independence at a ripe age of 74 years! We remember Cde Mahofa dancing until she collapsed and fainted at the party's controversial December congress. We are not in any way suggesting that she could be reaping the benefits of her exceptional hard work. Our congratulations are in order!
No, thanks!
So all plans are at an advanced stage for the first group of people to take the one-way trip to Mars, where they hope to be the first people to inhabit the red planet?
Recent media reports indicated that a group of 100 people, carefully selected from over 200 000 applications, are readying to beat the self-imposed 2024 deadline, by which it is hoped human life should start flourishing on Mars.
So under this project called Mars One, a multinational team of ambitious and daredevil "astronauts" shall be embarking on the 320 million-plus kilometre one-way journey to Mars, a distance that would take over eight months to cover, for which so far there is no technology to enable them to make a return trip.
There are lots of things that Dr CZ hankers for, and this is certainly not one of them. Imagine him leaving this country and missing all the colourful characters that make it a truly blessed country that it is?
And them missing all the good (and also bad) things that make life both enjoyable and endurable, as we know it to be? All those things, suddenly having to live without them. All in the name of adventure? Never! Ever! Dr CZ read it somewhere that poverty, if accepted and lived positively, can be a wonderful adventure on its own… a unique experience that the rich and powerful will never, ever even hope to sample. Dr CZ thinks it is better for him to be content with what he already have (and also have not), than to venture into the unknown.
Hopefully those who are going on project Mars One would be able to communicate with us, so that - unlike with our dead - we can get regular updates of what would be taking place there.
------------
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - fingaz
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