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Labour law changes make party popular, Cdes

by CZ
27 Aug 2015 at 10:59hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet  and Politburo members

COMRADES, like I am always telling you, we should always make sure we get the best out of any situation. The labour crisis that was triggered by that Supreme Court ruling should leave our party more popular with workers in this country since we were able to think creatively to emerge as the true champions of the workers' rights.

You see Cdes, if those pollsters were to conduct another survey among workers, vendors and those people accused of illegally settling themselves in urban areas, among others, our forever ruling party would beat all others hands down in terms of being trusted and having the plight of the poor at heart.

Look at it this way. After the job losses tsunami begun, although it would appear to our detractors that I took forever to put the foot on the brake pedal, the bottom line is that as an experienced driver, it was up to me to know when it was safe to do so without causing a disaster.

And this is exactly what I did.

Where were Morgan and his handlers - the self-styled champions of democracy and workers' rights - in all this?

Morgan Tsvangirai under pressure from a disgruntled membership.

As usual, they were nowhere to be seen, just as they tried to side with the local authorities that have been harassing vendors and demolishing residents' houses, all in the hope of triggering a popular uprising against us.

Of course, the good thing is that our people know that we are never responsible for the challenges that the economy is facing, so they will never be tricked into a rebellion against us.

My seemingly inordinate delay in acting to change the labour laws was deliberate on my part… the more workers who got fired, virtually empty-handed, but whose right to packages our Big Brother party would not just suddenly restore, but also do so retrospectively, would mean more people having more valid reasons to vote for us in future elections.

Look now, even people like that portly fake teacher are now showering praises on me and the party… at the weekend this chap was telling all and sundry what a champion of workers' rights I am.

It could be the right time we rope him into party structures because apart from getting one or two nuggets about his out-going Western handlers, we could also get a few votes through him.

Yes, things do not always go smoothly every time - just as the elders say, when you pray for rain, you should also simultaneously budget for mud.

But look at it this way, in the end it is the party that is benefiting from solving these little problems that are coming up here and there.

The good thing is that the people know that this party that liberated them from the yoke of colonial rule will never, ever forsake them.

Only last week, I ordered that something be done towards compensating those people who might have lost their pensions during the Zim Dollar era.

How responsible can a leadership ever be?

Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely


Now Dr CZ's legion of fans can see why Yours Truly wishes to die as a politician. Politicians can enter Heaven because they have the privilege to die clean since they have the benefit to contradict themselves without accounting for it. Last week, Local Government and National Housing Minister, Saviour Kasukuwere, decided to put his first name to best use by playing saviour when he moved in to peremptorily stop the opposition-led Harare City Council from doing what is now fashionable by sacking about 3 000 of its workforce… the same workers who have gone unpaid for several months.

Those that have grown to know Zanu-PF's tactics might not be entirely unjustified to suspect the old wily party could be plotting to put the capital city - which has consistently eluded the control of the party in open elections - under another commission once more.

They do not call me Tyson for nothing.

It should be remembered that the reason why the MDC-T run council found itself in such a severe financial squeeze is also because of a vote-catching directive by Zanu-PF for all local authorities to write off residents' bills in the run-up to the July 31, 2013 elections, which directive is understood to have created a gaping US$200 million hole in its books. Now the same Zanu-PF, which benefited abundantly from the populist move, is now demanding that the city keep its bloated workforce even though it cannot pay it… or else!

Does Kasukuwere - the Zanu-PF national political commissar - expect the city fathers to perform a miracle that he and his bosses cannot perform towards the national economy - at least for now?

If the respective line ministry had made a similar directive to other parastatals and quasi-government bodies that have been firing their workers left, right and centre, no one would have seen any political colouration in Kasukuwere's directive. The National Railways of Zimbabwe, the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation, Zimpapers, Zimpost… you name them, have all wasted no time in seizing the Supreme Court ruling by making job terminations as easy as breaking eggs, curiously with no government mandarin raising a finger.

Talk of eating one's cake and keeping it!

Whoever came up with the name Zimbabwe for this country should be awarded the Highest Order of Munhumutapa for rightly naming this country after some ruins of sorts.

Joice Teurai Ropa Mujuru - whose name is given on her measles card as Runaida Mukandi - will be having the singular honour and privilege of having a private secretary, if the spirit of the law that appeared to have been gazetted recently is followed to the last letter, as one of the pared down benefits she is entitled to as the first ever former vice president of this country to survive that devil-kissed office.

There can never be any debate whatsoever about who is going to land that post of being her spokesperson since Cde Rugare Gumbo seems to be using his vast experience not only as a veteran of the trenches (also read pits) as well as former Zanu-PF's able secretary for (mis)information, to communicate to the world on behalf of the formerly powerful lady.

All along, Zimbos thought Gumbo was speaking on behalf of Mujuru on issues strictly to do with the putative People's First movement… but loo and behold, last week he gave a local daily another interview in which he made it clear that they "were" still examining the package.

Could he be People's First movement spokesperson?

"We are still studying the offer," Gumbo was reported as saying.

Added Gumbo - whose colourful career as a spin-doctor dates back to the early 1970s when he returned from studies overseas straight to join the liberation war in Mozambique: "Could I request that you be patient a bit while we make a determination on the issue? Give us the benefit of doubt to deal with the matter in our own way before we make concrete conclusions."

All along we were made to believe that this package - though not as mouth-wateringly generous as it would otherwise have been had Mujuru not "dismissed" herself from party (and therefore government)-was not a group retirement package for all those that have "dismissed" themselves from Zanu-PF and are reportedly coagulating around the rich widow. So we wonder in what capacity Gumbo arrogated himself the right to respond to media queries about what Mujuru might be feeling about her retirement package.

Naturally it should forever be an unforgivable crime if anyone would ever allow themselves to start fondling mischievous thoughts when one chooses to be a real man by volunteering to side with widows seemingly under siege.

Well, never mind the Shona sages and that silly saying that: "Itsitsi dzeyi tsvimborume kubvisa mwana wemvana madzihwa?"(What ulterior motive does Gumbo have in siding with Mujuru?)

Anyway, Dr CZ wanted to apply for that sinecure job, but from the look of things, he has already been crowded out. All we can do is to wish Gumbo all the best in his next endeavours. Nothing can ever beat experience in this world!

As a super-patriot, Dr CZ is prayerful that someone is not trying to play dangerous blackmail here. UK demands £25m ex-Rhodies' pensions, read one headline of an official newspaper. This demand coming as it does when Harare is rubbing its palms in gleeful anticipation to receive the skulls of its gallant ancestors, it is sincerely hoped that this fresh demand is not in any way tied to the return of the skulls!

Source - fingaz
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