Thanks Mliswa for Norton

WITHOUT wasting time, I want to thank that Zanu-PF boy, Temba Mliswa, for showing his party the evils of factionalism and the grave mistake of abandoning real war veterans. I have a message for the Zanu-PF political commissar, Saviour Kasukuwere — the Norton result was very, very bad for you as tete vemusangano.

As for Christopher Mutsvangwa, please shut up while Kudzanai Chipanga should start growing up. Bishop Lazarus will tell you that Mliswa is Zanu-PF to the bone. Mliswa didn't leave Zanu-PF. He can't leave Zanu-PF. That one is not the type that can leave Zanu-PF.  Let's leave this issue for another good day.

But the fact that Mliswa is still a Zanu-PF boy doesn't take away the fact that Norton was very, very bad for Kasukuwere.  Bishop Lazarus doesn't usually see shadows but ndiri kuita sendiri kuona someone seated in the departure lounge.  Someone seated there worried sick, wondering where the next flight will take him.

But why is the Norton result so bad for Kasukuwere?  Well, there was a lot of talk about the Zanu-PF candidate Ronald Chindedza being imposed on the constituency and there was a lot of talk that those creatures — G40 and Lacoste — were playing hide and seek games in Norton.  Norton was also very bad for Kasukuwere because reports say the political commissar decided to sideline real war veterans in the campaigns. After side-lining the war veterans, reports say Kasukuwere thought the people of Norton could be swayed by housing stands.

That one is an old trick that won't work. And just as we were wondering who on earth was this Chindedza, President Mugabe came with a blockbuster response. "Iye zvino takaita election yekuNorton yakakanganiswa zvikuru-kuru. Ndokunotora chimbavha zvacho chimbavha. Munhu ange asingadiwe nevanhu asingazivikanwe futi neruzhinji. Hameno kuti ipapa vakuru vedu vakapapotsa sei. I hope we don't make such a disastrous mistake in future," said the President.

Now those were very strong words from the President and those who know will tell you that after saying such bold statements, Gushungo usually starts kuruka chamboko chewaya and kana votyaira mombe unoti hezvo.  That statement by the President was loaded. Who could have imposed Chindedza?

Bishop Lazarus is convinced that tete vemusangano let the party down in Norton.  Look, Kasukuwere is a good guy — young and energetic — but I am not sure about him being smart, politically.  With the way the stakes were so high against him, Kasukuwere should have made sure Zanu-PF would not loose Norton.

Mliswa calls Kasukuwere all sorts of derogatory names.  Mutsvangwa was always ready to pounce after being removed from the seat.
War veterans were never happy with the way Kasukuwere once demeaned them.  Clearly, the odds were against Kasukuwere as the political commissar.
Some war veterans even went to the extent of saying, "Hapana nezva PC apa. Commissar anongoita zvekuimba chete without teaching people gwara reZanu-PF? Hapana kwatinosvika."

So Norton was about tinosvika kupi naKasukuwere?  There was even talk that secretly, some Lacoste figures were campaigning against Chindedza, just to prove a point to Kasukuwere.  For some reason, Kasukuwere didn't see things that way. That's why I said I don't think Kasukuwere is that smart politically.

I remember some years ago, I think it was in 2002 when the Insiza by-elections were held.  The stakes were clearly against Zanu-PF but the ruling party wanted to make a point against the MDC which was claiming that the whole of Matabeleland was now its territory.  I remember Zanu-PF descending on Insiza in ways that shocked the MDC. Zanu-PF made it appear as if the Insiza seat meant life or death.

When the results were announced, the Zanu-PF candidate Andrew Langa polled over 12 000 votes against Siyabonga Malandu of the MDC who polled around 5 000 votes. I remember the Zanu-PF celebrations.  It was as if the party had re-gained the whole of Matabeleland. Zanu-PF had made a point to the MDC.

In fact, Zanu-PF had made several points to the MDC.  Zanu-PF had shown the MDC its organisational capacity.  Zanu-PF had shown the MDC that it could win elections in Matabeleland and Zanu-PF had shown the MDC that when the odds are against it, it can mount a hurricane.  The MDC was deflated. Those who remember their politics will tell you that after Insiza, the MDC downfall started.

That's how Kasukuwere was supposed to take the by-election in Norton.  Look, I am not being personal here and I am not implying that Norton was about Kasukuwere but I am saying a smart politician would have known what it meant for him.  Now just imagine Kasukuwere at the Zanu-PF conference in Masvingo in December.

Will he go to Masvingo with his usual bouncing step?  What will be going on in people's minds?  I know those Zanu-PF conferences. As the political commissar you need to go there feeling like you are on top of the world.  This won't be the case for Kasukuwere.  It's sad because I know brother Kasukuwere likes his swag and bounce.

Bishop Lazarus hopes Kasukuwere learnt a thing or two from the Norton disaster.  There is nothing factional about this sermon.  Let's look at facts rather than shadows.  Hehee Bishop venyu ivavo is Lacoste. Hehee Bishop, we will deal with him.  Don't deal with this Bishop. Deal with the reality on the ground. The reality is that Mliswa outfoxed tete vemusangano in Norton.

I am not being personal, but satete vemusangano, Kasukuwere should shoulder the blame.  Some of his main duties are to mobilise the people to support the party and to mobilise them to go and vote.  So kana zvisina kufamba zvakanaka, Bishop vanopotsera banga kumuridzi. Abaiwa ngaabude.

While Kasukuwere needs a lot of learning from the Norton disaster, he should know that he won't learn anything from Mutsvangwa. In fact Mutsvanga, like I said earlier on, should just shut up.  Mutsvangwa should shut up and the only time Bishop Lazarus wants to see him opening his mouth is when he is giving this lovely nation a detailed explanation about that treasonous communique that spoke rubbish about the President.

This Bishop has no short memory and until that issue is explained in full, Mutsvangwa and his harem should just give us a break. We saw Mutsvangwa waxing lyrical after the Norton disaster but honestly Chris should shut up. Discourse does not allow him to say anything at the moment.

Then there was this Chipanga boy. The boy has lots of growing up to do. After the Norton disaster, Chipanga said something to the effect that the State media was to blame.  The recklessness is legendary but Chipanga will soon discover that Zanu-PF is more complex than he think. He got big-headed when the President confirmed him as the Youth League chairperson.

The boy can't even see the matrix. He can't even see what motivated that move and what that move means for him.  Tiri kumhanya hedu murima iwee, shame! Kudzidza is indeed a process, but looks like this Chipanga boy is a very slow learner. Here is my message to Chipanga.  Zanu-PF in general and President Mugabe in particular would appreciate winning elections than a million-man march that ends as nothing but a march.

Bishop Lazarus hopes Chipanga did not get carried away after that successful march. Politics is about votes and winning elections.  Only activism is measured by the numbers during a march. Dzidza Chipanga dzidza. Meanwhile, let me take this opportunity again to thank Mliswa for Norton.
That is exactly what Zanu-PF needed before 2018.

Just like Zanu-PF needed the referendum that other year to recoil and take stock.  Zanu-PF needs that today. It needs that badly and without Norton, that wasn't going to happen. Thanks Mliswa. You rescued your party.  Chimirai muone panoti Zanu-PF!

Bishop is out!